KEEPING COOL DURING BUSY TIMES

B -

You are going through a very stressful potentially exhausting time. And when one goes on and on with no rest, both the mental and the physical resourcefulness drop dramatically. As Jim Loehr says in his books on managing stress and creating better performance, mankind evolved to surge and then to rest and then to surge and then to rest. But we in this Western world often get caught up in surge, surge, surge, but with no rest until we fall exhausted into bed.

The result is often adrenal blowout, hypoglycemia, high anxiety, low impulse control, diabetes, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. and etc.

I remember feeling I was under constant pressure, and being fatigued but still pushing through. But somehow I discovered that I did not need to constantly be dealing with what I was anxious about and that I could take 10 minute naps, as many as I needed. I could put aside my anxiety driven activity for that small period and not fold.

I started out with 3-6 of those a day, and then the need lightened up as I became healthier and less stressed. And I could not believe the difference in how I felt. My confidence in myself returned and my anxiety dropped dramatically. So, I'd recommend that you try that (or some variation of it) during this stressful period, as many times a day as possible! (It is best to use a timer, so that you'll be confident that the nap time will be appropriate. And the other thing I did was have a pen and a pad of paper to write down anything urgent on my mind, as I relaxed into oblivion.)

Let me know how this is working after two days of trying it.

I appreciate seeing you put out new positiveness and that you are expressing gratitude, as those make a difference, too.

Take extra care of yourself,

The Kahuna

FROM DEPRESSION TO HAPPINESS - IT'S BEEN DONE!

B -

You seemed to be a bit "non-believing" when I said I was totally confident that you could turn around your thinking that has created your downward spirals for years and years. Yes, you have practiced and become an expert at it, but the same mechanism can be used to reverse it.

The solution is definite and proven.

Daniel Amen, M.D. spoke on PBS, reviewing many of the observations from his book "Magnifient Mind At Any Age," where he utilizes his brain scanning expertise (a friend of mine had this done and benefitted greatly) and counseling experience over many years. He lays out many useful strategies and has found that if you apply them you will achieve life-enhancing results.
He also mentioned the case of Byron Katie, successful author and wise sage, where she had suffered from severe depression for many years. She turned it around when she "suddenly discovered" that she no longer felt depressed when she began to question (and no longer passively believe) what her mind said to her. She asked 4 questions roughly paraphrased here, whenever a "negative" or stressful thought popped into her consciousness. All the thoughts that make you feel bad are actually beliefs, which you can question and redo, but this time with your higher brain, as an adult:

1. Is it true? (Even if you answer yes, do the next test question.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be, how would you feel, without that thought.

Then you take the thought and turn it around to the opposite and see if that would work better for you. And the next step is simply to practice by saying and using that new belief.

When she addressed each of the thoughts and stopped being "victim" to the prattlings of the primitive mind, she found that she was not at all depressed. Her transformation is reflected now in the mission she has in her life - and she is a true inspiration to the many who follow her work.

It is worthwhile becoming an expert in this fairly simple process - after all, we want to waste as little time as possible dwelling in the falsehoods of damaging beliefs.

Will you accept that challenge?

I look forward with great excitement at seeing the great progress you will make in the next six months through the consistent practice of what we are working on together.

Keith


Use the search engine on the website (TheLifeManagementAlliance) to find an approach based on similar thinking. Enter "rational analysis".

I would definitely read and practice what Dr. Amen recommends in his book!!!!

Her original book is "Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life."

THANKS TO LIFE - A BEAUTIFUL PIECE!

I loved this song and slide show: Gracias A La Vida. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zxwgyHyl_c . (The words are on the site, under Gratitude. This is a good one to put in your Reminders Notebook.)

It is vitally important to review what we are grateful for, especially since we Americans spend so much time looking at what is missing or wrong about things or people. The latter is pretty much what I think should be the purpose of cranialrectal surgery (which the site attempts to do).

As in Managing The Mind, on the site, we can actually rewire (not just install a new program) our "neuronal pathways" in our brain by simply repeating something enough over the long term - actually creating new cells even.

Indeed, we have so incredibly much...and we only need to "see" it.
________________

The site refrains from asking people to make huge "spiritual" leaps, as it is set up to have people do "doable" things, such as actions that are easy and understandable, though we do discuss the rational, reasoning, and the basis for understanding some things that help in cranialrectal surgery.

IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE POSSIBLE?

Q. This (referring to someone tending orchids as a huge hobby) takes a tremendous amount of time, and I'd much prefer to spend my time experiencing unconditional love!!! I know that some people don't believe that unconditional love is possible. What do you think?

A. I know it is possible, though the irony of it is that it must, in my opinion, start through a process of "conditionality". I don't think we can unconditionally love everybody in the deeper, non-trivial, sense. I can look at someone and be non-judgmental (which is often what people seem to think is "unconditional", but there is a nuance of difference), for I know they are doing the best they can given the current limits of their awareness - but I won't necessarily want to be around that person alot.

Once we get "the right basic conditions" (such as basic compatibility, including lifestyles merging ok with freedom to do as one wishes but also coming [so to speak] together at times to express fondness and closeness and to connect with the other's emotions and feelings about the day and life), then I think (and what I want) is that we can totally be unconditional, knowing that our basic conditions are met (for instance, one "condition" would be to not treat each other with anger, not criticize, not blame, be responsible for one's emotions and actions from those emotions - I believe that is who you are: nonjudgmental and unconditionally loving and totally self responsible [of course, there will be moments of slipping on banana peels or trying to park backwards, but those are all "so whats", as the only important thing is how we treat each other, not whether we are goofy, silly, or just plain stupid some of the time).

I, myself, do not ever want to experience a relationship where the “cultural expectations” are such that the person “requires me” [or “they’ll be repercussions”] to do a lot of “posturing” or symbolism that is not the same as the “real thing”. In the 5 Languages of Love, they refer to how people know they are loved by either service, touch, gifts, deep emotional sharing and languaging (e.g. , say “I love you” lots), etc. I do not want a relationship where I must buy expensive jewelry or even be the “romantic” dude around town who is sure to plan exciting surprise vacations. This is what is referred to in some growth workshops as “eating the menu”, where the pretty pictures are so enticing but not real. Simple loving, basic gestures are what count, in my opinion, though everyone is entitled to what “conditions” work for them – I just don’t want to be in a relationship with that person. Artificial expectations and then the resentments related to not having them met are the killers of relationships - that’s why I hope people get a feel for what expectations are unrealistic – so that is deal with on the site (put “expectations” into the search engine).

I believe that everyone should become an expert in intimate relationships, as that is, outside of oneself, the most important element of life. Read the site! Especially learn the rational for non-blaming, so one can rid oneself of all resentments, frustration, anger, manipulation, self-criticism, etc. When one stops criticizing, out loud or in one’s mind, the other, then unconditional love does exist. (Search engine on the site, enter “blaming”.)

The Loving/BeingLoved section, under Relationships on the site, points the way...especially see The Loving Woman - By Her.

The Purpose Of Life

You ask, Alex, what is the purpose of life, as you've heard so many.

This is the purpose of life:


THE PURPOSE OF LIFE ITSELF


Is This The Purpose Of Life?

"The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best which is within us."
-- Marianne Williamson, Author and Spiritual Activist


Is the purpose actually “growth”, “to become our best given our talents”?

Or is that a “means to the ends”?

To find out if something is “the end”, one simply might ask after “growth” is specified as the purpose, the simple question “well, why have that? Or “In order to have what?” When one can no longer come up with an answer to that question, one has reached the “end”?

So, why grow?

So that we can be wise and knowledgeable enough to get the good things from life more.

So, what are those good things?

Appreciating life, seeing how great it is, a greater ability to love and express oneself, and such.

So, why do you want those?

So I can be happier.

(If one asked at this point, why do you want to happier, one would begin to get circular answers, such as “so I can feel better”, which is actually part of being happier.”)

From all I’ve read and after thinking about it quite a bit, I throw my vote in with The Dalai Lama:

“The purpose of life is happiness.”

_________

This website is therefore dedicated to contribute to what ultimately enhances happiness and/or to reduce what detracts from happiness. It is my belief that we can achieve an underlying happiness that is unconditional and stays with us even when there is actual pain – and that we can actually be happy 95++% of the time.

http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/

Affirmations - Declarations, Commitments To Ways Of Being.

I didn't provide any affirmations to meet your request, as they are so imbedded already that I couldn't think of any. But here are a few, some a bit like rules or ways to have things work, but all ones I believe in. They are placed in my Reminder Notebook that I often use in the morning after my deep relaxation time. (Notebook concept is on the Site.)

I am a good, caring, loving, capable man.

I am always well off and grateful for life. I smile. I enjoy people. I enjoy anything I do that serves a useful purpose. I'm just grateful to be alive.

I am powerful beyond measure.

I am a rational, capable, nurturing adult.

I take care of myself.
I control what I can and that is plenty!

I make myself happy no matter what!

There is so much in life to be grateful for. I am blessed.

All people are blameless, for they do the best they know how given the current limits of their awareness. The problem is never the person. It is the lack of awareness. So the solution lies in increasing that awareness. And one must decide if that is something worth one's while.

(Derived from Barksdale training.)

I love and cherish my wonderful self, for I realize that I am not my actions, that I am a unique and precious being, responsible for my own life, ever doing the best my current awareness permits, ever growing in wisdom and love, totally free of value judging, shame, guilt and remorse.
(Borrowed from Barksdale)

I realize that my source and enabler of power is putting myself into a position of perspective and looking to see what is needed to create what I truly desire. I therefore commit myself to that process as a part of the rest of my life.

Oh, I forgot one:

I shall meet and be with an incredible Goddess Of Love.

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com