Setting a timer, pretty simple, but hugely effective for procrastinators, people in a hurry, and/or people needing to "calm down" and/or "feel better". (Click on the title above to link into the full explanation and use.)
I, myself, will catch "me" just going and going, with no break, as I want to get things done quickly. Alot of the time I am generating all of these ideas and multitasking, like a mad scientist - and I need to grab some "settling" time.
Not good!
So I use this method (see the source in the article) to do a 1 minute meditation or a 5 minute nap.
I know I can spare a minute.
And I know that if I don't set a timer, I won't even last a minute.
I also know that I'll pass by things that are a mess or need to be picked up, so I use the two minute rule. I set a timer for two minutes and stop at the end. Lots fewer piles. Things look better, I feel better.
I love the 1 minute "mood setter" where I set a tone for what I am about to do (or for the day) - I just feel so much better. It's not really what one is doing or one's circumstances that affect one's happiness, it is how one sets oneself up to see it and to feel good about it or despite it.
The "Timer Tool" is one of the top recommendations, though simple, for your Life ToolKit.
Just click on the title above - if you've got a minute.
Here's to greater piece of mind and fewer messes!
Keith
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
THE TRUTHS IN LIFE
Continued...
Tara Brack in Radical Acceptance
The Truths in life are actually:
I am worthy simply because I do exist.[1]
There are endless creativity and possibilities that exist in living this life!
There is simply no truth (we made it all up) in the three concepts that have us suffering: good/bad, right/wrong and my survival is threatened as I am not powerful enough.
I am powerful, period.
I am simply he/she who experiences (and there is no right/wrong, good/bad).
We will cease to exist only one time. The others are all false and needless alarms.
The only question is: How high shall I go?
[1] If a baby is worthy when the baby can only cry, take in food and liquids and excrete same, then how can we after becoming much more useful and functional be any less worthy?
Click on title to link to Acceptance section.
Tara Brack in Radical Acceptance
The Truths in life are actually:
I am worthy simply because I do exist.[1]
There are endless creativity and possibilities that exist in living this life!
There is simply no truth (we made it all up) in the three concepts that have us suffering: good/bad, right/wrong and my survival is threatened as I am not powerful enough.
I am powerful, period.
I am simply he/she who experiences (and there is no right/wrong, good/bad).
We will cease to exist only one time. The others are all false and needless alarms.
The only question is: How high shall I go?
[1] If a baby is worthy when the baby can only cry, take in food and liquids and excrete same, then how can we after becoming much more useful and functional be any less worthy?
Click on title to link to Acceptance section.
NO NEED FOR UNHAPPINESS ANYMORE
It is remarkable when one sees it - that we, not realities, create our own unhappiness. AND we create it from not accepting reality and expecting it to be so different.
Tara Brach, in her book Radical Acceptance (one of the top must read books for my old guru), says (see my summary in the Acceptance section of The Site, click on title):
Almost all threats are not real and are strictly fabricated as a childish way of “protecting” oneself from the concept of “non-survival,” there is nothing left to not accept.
The false beliefs that cause us not to accept (and cause us suffering) are:
- We are defective, unworthy, incomplete, basically flawed, something is fundamentally wrong with us.
- Something bad is going to happen.
- We must avoid disapproval.
We adapt to our false beliefs by spending our time, energies, and lives on:
1. Trying to manage the pain, trying to soothe ourselves
2. Avoiding the pain
3. Trying to stave it off by replaying worries and plans
4. Addictions (substances, people, romance, stimulation) that numb us out
5. Hiding who we are and operating in fear of being discovered.
The irony here is that we don’t know who we are and we assume we are
everything around us. We are pure awareness and love.
Ironic - we created the pain - and then we try to manage it. There are huge amounts of time and energy saved when we stop this game!
Then the only question is "How high shall I go?" [Feeling free, effortlessly...]
Tara Brach, in her book Radical Acceptance (one of the top must read books for my old guru), says (see my summary in the Acceptance section of The Site, click on title):
Almost all threats are not real and are strictly fabricated as a childish way of “protecting” oneself from the concept of “non-survival,” there is nothing left to not accept.
The false beliefs that cause us not to accept (and cause us suffering) are:
- We are defective, unworthy, incomplete, basically flawed, something is fundamentally wrong with us.
- Something bad is going to happen.
- We must avoid disapproval.
We adapt to our false beliefs by spending our time, energies, and lives on:
1. Trying to manage the pain, trying to soothe ourselves
2. Avoiding the pain
3. Trying to stave it off by replaying worries and plans
4. Addictions (substances, people, romance, stimulation) that numb us out
5. Hiding who we are and operating in fear of being discovered.
The irony here is that we don’t know who we are and we assume we are
everything around us. We are pure awareness and love.
Ironic - we created the pain - and then we try to manage it. There are huge amounts of time and energy saved when we stop this game!
Then the only question is "How high shall I go?" [Feeling free, effortlessly...]
Thursday, July 23, 2009
CREATING THE BIGGEST "NET" FEEL GOOD
(Click on the title of this blog piece to go to "Feeling Good Vs. Feeling Bad - Creating The Biggest 'Net' Feel Good" to read more in-depth and to link to items of further interest.)
This is what all life is about - the enduring "feel good" of life.
All we need to do is:
1. Find out what induces each type of feeling
2. Follow the "doable" actions that create feel goods and/or diminish feel bads, rather than
"try" positive thinking or some intangible that is hard to get your arms around.
THE FINAL FORMULA
FEELING GOODS MINUS FEELING BADS = NET FEEL GOODS
The ingredients:
Sending calming signals to the lizard brain
Breathing, relaxation, soothing/calming statements
Eliminating untrue, dysfunctional beliefs; replacing them (Duh!)
No longer expecting happiness to come from outcomes or circumstances or
people.
Learning and accepting reality, not resisting it
Using "what works" as the only remaining criterion in life (no "right/wrong/blame", "not
good enough", or "there is lots of danger" dysfunctional beliefs)
Focused processes
Meditation - To rewire the brain long term
Soothing, nurturing actions
Keeping oneself in a high state of resourcefulness
Staying in perspective, using the reasoning brain for decisions
Learning intensely about life, to increase one's appreciation of life
Is it worth doing the above? (Duh!)
May you know the great happiness that is the true potential in this life.
The BuddhaKahuna
His Holey Irreverend
The Temple Of The Ultimate Truth
"When it comes to wisdom, he is really full of it."
This is what all life is about - the enduring "feel good" of life.
All we need to do is:
1. Find out what induces each type of feeling
2. Follow the "doable" actions that create feel goods and/or diminish feel bads, rather than
"try" positive thinking or some intangible that is hard to get your arms around.
THE FINAL FORMULA
FEELING GOODS MINUS FEELING BADS = NET FEEL GOODS
The ingredients:
Sending calming signals to the lizard brain
Breathing, relaxation, soothing/calming statements
Eliminating untrue, dysfunctional beliefs; replacing them (Duh!)
No longer expecting happiness to come from outcomes or circumstances or
people.
Learning and accepting reality, not resisting it
Using "what works" as the only remaining criterion in life (no "right/wrong/blame", "not
good enough", or "there is lots of danger" dysfunctional beliefs)
Focused processes
Meditation - To rewire the brain long term
Soothing, nurturing actions
Keeping oneself in a high state of resourcefulness
Staying in perspective, using the reasoning brain for decisions
Learning intensely about life, to increase one's appreciation of life
Is it worth doing the above? (Duh!)
May you know the great happiness that is the true potential in this life.
The BuddhaKahuna
His Holey Irreverend
The Temple Of The Ultimate Truth
"When it comes to wisdom, he is really full of it."
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
NOT AS HAPPY AS YOU COULD BE? TRY THIS.
If we are not as happy as we could be, do we just let it be, as if it were permanent?
Or as if it was too much effort compared to the result?
I would say the "result" is life itself - which I would rather consider worth everything!
We settle for too little. But Robert Mack didn't.
Suffering from depression, he wrote about depression: "It was something that was logically sound and experientially proven. Everything either was bad now or would be bad soon, would forever be bad on all occasions and in all places, and there was little, if anything, I could do about any of it. That is precisely what I thought..."
Considering suicide or "fixing" himself: "And so, left with the only real, actionable alternative I could find, I proceeded to throw myself passionately into self-help books, studies on cognitive therapy, psychocybernetics, and so on..." He had decided to "make happiness my career."
He succeeded and wrote an excellent book that is very readable on...guess what! The title is "Happiness From The Inside Out, The Art And Science Of Fulfillment".
I recommend that you read it and learn the realities of life, belief, and how we can see life - and begin to be more of a master at creating the life you could really have.
The BuddhaKahuna
Or as if it was too much effort compared to the result?
I would say the "result" is life itself - which I would rather consider worth everything!
We settle for too little. But Robert Mack didn't.
Suffering from depression, he wrote about depression: "It was something that was logically sound and experientially proven. Everything either was bad now or would be bad soon, would forever be bad on all occasions and in all places, and there was little, if anything, I could do about any of it. That is precisely what I thought..."
Considering suicide or "fixing" himself: "And so, left with the only real, actionable alternative I could find, I proceeded to throw myself passionately into self-help books, studies on cognitive therapy, psychocybernetics, and so on..." He had decided to "make happiness my career."
He succeeded and wrote an excellent book that is very readable on...guess what! The title is "Happiness From The Inside Out, The Art And Science Of Fulfillment".
I recommend that you read it and learn the realities of life, belief, and how we can see life - and begin to be more of a master at creating the life you could really have.
The BuddhaKahuna
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Changing Your Limiting Beliefs - Completely!
Barbara,
In order to get past limiting beliefs we must first see that they aren't true. Then we must have a true statement that will replace them. You have several traps in your limiting beliefs, such as "I can't ...., therefore I'll never ... which means I can't..." - self-fulfilling prophecies which aren't permanent.
The best treatment for now, from resources I've reviewed is in the detailed The Belief Manual. It lists all the limiting beliefs and then sets up sets of replacement beliefs that are the opposite.
I think this is the best way to go, so that we can have selected true statements to use to offset the dribbling of limiting thoughts from Dumb and Dumber (see Managing The Mind discussion on The Site). For a description of that book, go to Psychology, Beliefs/Thoughts, Individual Beliefs (to link, click on the title of this article) then to Resources.
This would be an easy book to take on your trip to China, as you can work on the little pieces one at a time during idle times.
There is no way around this, as it can only be done by going through it. So let's complete these and then move on to the formation of an overall solid life philosophy* that serves you at a higher level.
Let's check with each other once you've done the basic work.
I guarantee this will make a substantial difference, as changing the way one thinks has the highest payoff of anything you can do with your time!
Keith
The Site: www.thelifemanagementalliance.com .
*Link: http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/SiteMapICPhilos.html
In order to get past limiting beliefs we must first see that they aren't true. Then we must have a true statement that will replace them. You have several traps in your limiting beliefs, such as "I can't ...., therefore I'll never ... which means I can't..." - self-fulfilling prophecies which aren't permanent.
The best treatment for now, from resources I've reviewed is in the detailed The Belief Manual. It lists all the limiting beliefs and then sets up sets of replacement beliefs that are the opposite.
I think this is the best way to go, so that we can have selected true statements to use to offset the dribbling of limiting thoughts from Dumb and Dumber (see Managing The Mind discussion on The Site). For a description of that book, go to Psychology, Beliefs/Thoughts, Individual Beliefs (to link, click on the title of this article) then to Resources.
This would be an easy book to take on your trip to China, as you can work on the little pieces one at a time during idle times.
There is no way around this, as it can only be done by going through it. So let's complete these and then move on to the formation of an overall solid life philosophy* that serves you at a higher level.
Let's check with each other once you've done the basic work.
I guarantee this will make a substantial difference, as changing the way one thinks has the highest payoff of anything you can do with your time!
Keith
The Site: www.thelifemanagementalliance.com .
*Link: http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/SiteMapICPhilos.html
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Happiness and Acceptance of Reality - No Suffering
A quote from a 76-year study of what makes life work:
“Herein lies the key to a good life--not rules to follow, nor problems to avoid-- but an engaged humility, an earnest acceptance of life’s pains and promises.”*
The key statement, I believe, from my studies is about "earnest acceptance." Indeed, the Buddha speaks of the source of suffering as being wishing reality were different than it is and grasping onto unrealistic expectations in life.
Into each life some undesired outcomes will happen. And if we believe they "shouldn't" happen, then we are doing what is called adding unnecessary suffering to the pain.
And, now, I am going to make a bold statement. First, let's define "pain" to be that which comes from a physical discomfort, but in this case I am excluding the dysfunctions due to stress that we inappropriately put on the body's mechanisms. If I created a formula for pain and suffering it would look like this:
Naturally occurring pain + stress caused pain + mental suffering added = Total pain/suffering
The bold statement is that the naturally occurring pain in life is only 1% or less of the total - and that we create all the rest.
If we didn't wish reality was different and if we just accepted reality as it is and appreciated it, then are life would be incredibly free of pain and suffering!
Ironically, we either are ignorant of the cause of the greatest problem blessed human beings have or we think we get something by "suffering" - or both.
Click on the title above to link to the section that will give you a thorough grounding on how NOT to suffer (and live with only the necessary amount of anxiety to keep our attention, but without suffering!).
Here's to your making the conversion and giving up all (at least 80%?) of your suffering!
Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com (Go to the Happiness section and the Gratitude section for what to replace suffering with....)
*From the very extensive article What Makes Us Happy? in the Atlantic Monthly, at http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200906/happiness
“Herein lies the key to a good life--not rules to follow, nor problems to avoid-- but an engaged humility, an earnest acceptance of life’s pains and promises.”*
The key statement, I believe, from my studies is about "earnest acceptance." Indeed, the Buddha speaks of the source of suffering as being wishing reality were different than it is and grasping onto unrealistic expectations in life.
Into each life some undesired outcomes will happen. And if we believe they "shouldn't" happen, then we are doing what is called adding unnecessary suffering to the pain.
And, now, I am going to make a bold statement. First, let's define "pain" to be that which comes from a physical discomfort, but in this case I am excluding the dysfunctions due to stress that we inappropriately put on the body's mechanisms. If I created a formula for pain and suffering it would look like this:
Naturally occurring pain + stress caused pain + mental suffering added = Total pain/suffering
The bold statement is that the naturally occurring pain in life is only 1% or less of the total - and that we create all the rest.
If we didn't wish reality was different and if we just accepted reality as it is and appreciated it, then are life would be incredibly free of pain and suffering!
Ironically, we either are ignorant of the cause of the greatest problem blessed human beings have or we think we get something by "suffering" - or both.
Click on the title above to link to the section that will give you a thorough grounding on how NOT to suffer (and live with only the necessary amount of anxiety to keep our attention, but without suffering!).
Here's to your making the conversion and giving up all (at least 80%?) of your suffering!
Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com (Go to the Happiness section and the Gratitude section for what to replace suffering with....)
*From the very extensive article What Makes Us Happy? in the Atlantic Monthly, at http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200906/happiness
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