"If only people could see that one cannot achieve his/her much desired peace of mind if one does not totally give up negative conversations - inside or outside of oneself!!!!!"
The BuddhaKahuna
I would encourage adopting the practices and "truth-telling" in the No Negative Conversations piece, as it is vital to your peace of mind (in lieu of having a "piece of mind" that is toxic).
And sometimes one might need the cooperation of another person who is doing 'toxic dumping' in his/her conversations with you.
However, confronting that person and making this point is often awkward and not well-done in a conversation. So, being creative, you might write a frank, but kind, note requesting no negative conversations for the sake of your peace of mind. Few people can turn this type of request down, though you may have to remind them once in a while, until they get the new habit. (And that habit will benefit the other person's life also!) See Request For No Negative Conversation.
Try this. Try enlisting the other person - and enlisting yourself - in making "no negative conversation" a sacred honoring of the other and of oneself.
Keith
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
A Quick Pick Me Up - To Stop Entertaining Negative Thoughts -
Although you should follow the program to re-do the nonsense thoughts, it is also beneficial to just recognize a nonsense, nonhelpful thought and then refuse to entertain it. Every thought entertained actually creates a physical strengthening of the rewiring in your brain - so it is more likely to come up again - aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh! (See How The Mind Works - and understand it so that you do the right moves and avoid the wrong moves!)
To stop the undesirable thought, we need to do something that is the opposite of it and excludes it. What works every time for me to overcome my primitive brain in its repeated crappola is to dance to Club/Dance music on the free (for 40 hours a month) internet radio: go to Pandora Internet Radio (it's great!).
This is all part of the section Creating "Up" , for the short term or long term.
Happy dancing!
Keith
To stop the undesirable thought, we need to do something that is the opposite of it and excludes it. What works every time for me to overcome my primitive brain in its repeated crappola is to dance to Club/Dance music on the free (for 40 hours a month) internet radio: go to Pandora Internet Radio (it's great!).
This is all part of the section Creating "Up" , for the short term or long term.
Happy dancing!
Keith
Repeated Undesired "Habits" - Completion
Barbara and anyone else who needs to "complete",
It seems that virtually all of us do not "complete" 'that which is not serving us.' If that is true for you, then I recommend you not do anymore of what doesn't work. (Duh!)
So many of us go 'gather knowledge' and never utilize it, so that we can talk a good game, but not play a truly good game. (See Authentic Learning, particularly "Know Can Do". Follow and live this way and your life will be infinitely better.)
Indeed, this saying is true: "What you do not complete, you are doomed to repeat."
So, the bottomline, if we want a better life, is that we need to find a new (and better) way, instead of repeating old unworkable ways, living a Groundhog Day life. (Google "Groundhog Day" and then watch the movie - then you decide what you want to do.)
The gradual way that works because it is so easy is the "Read Ten Pages A Day" commitment, where you read a mere ten pages, in the morning or before bed, of a book that will help you become more skillful about life.
The other key way I'd recommend for almost anyone is the "complete immersion" or "completion" approach, where you set aside time to complete something all in one block of time (or blocks of time). Read Completion, as a source of personal power and happiness.
Where there is continued "negative thinking" or retained problems from childhood, for example, you need something like the extended program at the toply reputed Hoffman Institute.
Another immersion is into the "mind training" disciplines. I like the content of the Buddhist teachings (dharma) if you pull out some of the extreme parts - the center of the teachings is the best wisdom I have seen in any discipline. You can google for a Buddhism center near you, where you can learn the type of thinking and choose the degree to which you do the mind training (including meditation) to fit you. Read about Buddhism, its usefulness, and how to use it, clicking on this link: Buddhism. Having a place to go and a sangha (community of like minded supportive people) is of immense impact.
May you "complete" what you need to know to live a skillful and happy life, without relics from old thinking.
Keith
It seems that virtually all of us do not "complete" 'that which is not serving us.' If that is true for you, then I recommend you not do anymore of what doesn't work. (Duh!)
So many of us go 'gather knowledge' and never utilize it, so that we can talk a good game, but not play a truly good game. (See Authentic Learning, particularly "Know Can Do". Follow and live this way and your life will be infinitely better.)
Indeed, this saying is true: "What you do not complete, you are doomed to repeat."
So, the bottomline, if we want a better life, is that we need to find a new (and better) way, instead of repeating old unworkable ways, living a Groundhog Day life. (Google "Groundhog Day" and then watch the movie - then you decide what you want to do.)
The gradual way that works because it is so easy is the "Read Ten Pages A Day" commitment, where you read a mere ten pages, in the morning or before bed, of a book that will help you become more skillful about life.
The other key way I'd recommend for almost anyone is the "complete immersion" or "completion" approach, where you set aside time to complete something all in one block of time (or blocks of time). Read Completion, as a source of personal power and happiness.
Where there is continued "negative thinking" or retained problems from childhood, for example, you need something like the extended program at the toply reputed Hoffman Institute.
Another immersion is into the "mind training" disciplines. I like the content of the Buddhist teachings (dharma) if you pull out some of the extreme parts - the center of the teachings is the best wisdom I have seen in any discipline. You can google for a Buddhism center near you, where you can learn the type of thinking and choose the degree to which you do the mind training (including meditation) to fit you. Read about Buddhism, its usefulness, and how to use it, clicking on this link: Buddhism. Having a place to go and a sangha (community of like minded supportive people) is of immense impact.
May you "complete" what you need to know to live a skillful and happy life, without relics from old thinking.
Keith
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