Byron Katie, in her book "I Need Your Love - Is That True?", writes of much wisdom in regard to relationships.
As with life, most people will find they suffer more in life when they put their "locus of control" "out there", being dependent on others and how they react to the person. They spend lots of time interpreting the other's actions, expressions, words - often reading in 'intents' (which are, of course, non-observable, as they are only in the other person's brain) and coming up with false conclusions, but inevitably believing they are right, as most people consider themselve to be extremely perceptive and accurate).
We make up lots of "shoulds", including expectations and beliefs about what the other should do - and then we attempt to manipulate them to give us what we want, to make them love us and do the right thing.
Wrong! That won't work.
We set up barter systems and then think we are loved because the other person does what we want. We fail to see what the source of true love really is - and it ain't the ones in the movies or in our cultural beliefs. (You'll have to read the book to see what this means!)
And one of the manipulations we do involves anger and/or criticism of the other. If only the other person does what we want. If only the other person were not so smug, then you wouldn't be pissed off. (And escalate it until it works - oops, that is really a stupid idea, but why do so many people do it?)
Well, what right do you have to be judge and jury, to be God? And how can you see inside the other person to know that they are really thinking they are smug or ....?
The source of our suffering in relationship is that we "demand" of others - which doesn't work, even though you might get the right response temporarily or on the surface.
The truly loving person is not in the demand or manipulation business. The truly loving person makes requests - and accepts whatever the answer is (for if he/she didn't that would then mean that it was actually a demand, really a "must" rather than a request).
Learn this and you'll be surprised how well your relationships will go - and you'll know what the cause is of them not going well! (And you'll, at least, stop wasting energy on having the other shape up, so you can use it in the place where control actually can be achieved, for your personal improvement.)
Read the book. (Or you could just be insulted and blame another for placing the responsibility on you...)
K
Linking to Relationships Contents/Links, you might wish to read
1. What Is Needed To Be Learned In Relationship - Overview - and you'll know what you are missing and must do if you want a good (or great) relationship.
2. Trying To Fix, Correct, Control Others (under Communication).
3. Making Requests And Happy Negotiating (under Communication, Making Requests)
4. Perception Versus Reality (under Communication)
(Note that the cause of failure to learn is that the materials will be accumulating for "later", which never happens. It is best to do these promptly, to at least understand the basics, even if you just scan it - and then to decide what is worthwhile to learn - and then scheduling it, with sufficient time for mastery. If these are not helpful, then ask your professional how to proceed and what resources are needed. )
Sunday, November 27, 2011
But I don't want to do that much work...
A "natural" reaction to the previous message might be to protest that it is too much work and/or there is not enough payoff - or even the "I tried it before and it didn't work" (to which the response might be "well, do it right this time" or "don't stop until you get the desired results" or "there is always a way").
One remark about a number of items on the site is that they were "too simplistic". OK, fine, just learn as much as you can - and then it is up to you to go deeper and find a better resource, possibly reading some of the books or experts I refer you to on the site.
One of my objectives on the site, due to feedback and some thinking about it, is to convert it so it is "top down", going from summaries and simpler items down deeper into more detail and technique. So, take the simplistic as merely an overview, which of course could be useful for getting perspective. And, yes, I will add some pieces that actually show a complete sequence or procedure to apply - ones that work.
And you don't need to believe everything, but I urge you to consider that some things have been proven over and over and over. Give the item an open-minded look - and, please, don't put your certainty about your beliefs and "perceptions" out there as "for sure being true!"!
"But can't you give me a shortcut, a pithy insight, and make me all better?"
No. And seeking the easy solutions or the ways around doing what is necessary will take up your time and enmesh you into resistance. You've just got to do the work - and the evidence that you are doing the work is that you get the results. If you are not getting the results, then, with backward reasoning, that means you haven't done the work.
Perhaps you need to find a better resource if the ones you have been using are not working, for whatever reason. But the most reliable reason for your not getting the desired results is that you have not done the work - and you need to do it - and it will take time and focused effort! (See Learning Authentically.)
I hope you choose to do this - 'cause you ain't finished 'til you're finished, and not before then - so keep on keepin' on.
K
One remark about a number of items on the site is that they were "too simplistic". OK, fine, just learn as much as you can - and then it is up to you to go deeper and find a better resource, possibly reading some of the books or experts I refer you to on the site.
One of my objectives on the site, due to feedback and some thinking about it, is to convert it so it is "top down", going from summaries and simpler items down deeper into more detail and technique. So, take the simplistic as merely an overview, which of course could be useful for getting perspective. And, yes, I will add some pieces that actually show a complete sequence or procedure to apply - ones that work.
And you don't need to believe everything, but I urge you to consider that some things have been proven over and over and over. Give the item an open-minded look - and, please, don't put your certainty about your beliefs and "perceptions" out there as "for sure being true!"!
"But can't you give me a shortcut, a pithy insight, and make me all better?"
No. And seeking the easy solutions or the ways around doing what is necessary will take up your time and enmesh you into resistance. You've just got to do the work - and the evidence that you are doing the work is that you get the results. If you are not getting the results, then, with backward reasoning, that means you haven't done the work.
Perhaps you need to find a better resource if the ones you have been using are not working, for whatever reason. But the most reliable reason for your not getting the desired results is that you have not done the work - and you need to do it - and it will take time and focused effort! (See Learning Authentically.)
I hope you choose to do this - 'cause you ain't finished 'til you're finished, and not before then - so keep on keepin' on.
K
Is thinking rational?
"I think you live in a dream world if you're thinking that thinking is rational."
An interesting comment I got in a phone message.
It seems that there is a spectrum from no rationality, which is called insanity, on forward to some items that cannot be deal with rationally (very, very few) and being as rational as one can be, within the limits of being human. Of course, certain things are not amenable to bringing up to consciousness, where the rational brain center can then operate on it.
However, we did evolve to have an unusual gift of a higher brain, one which is capable of logic and discrimination (to check to see if things are factual). It is our greatest gift.
Yes, we probably can't "get in touch" with our livers and then instruct them on what to do, but we can rationally do everything around that which we are capable of, from reducing stress to changing nutrition to ... And certain reactions are instinctual, such as blushing or even "excitement" stimulated by some evolved response system.
In some way, we process data according to a pattern that may be built in and/or habitual PLUS we can use our rational minds to intentionally process data to improve our results in life. The mistake many people make, out of misunderstanding, is to generalize the idea that emotions "seem to be" in charge or that they just come about with no control and no ability to influence them.
Of course, in any one circumstance they may not be 100% controllable, but surely we are able to observe what happened (an emotion just popped up and it felt "bad") and then to choose to act on it, especially when we've trained ourselves to do so instead of going "belly up" and doing a victim act (I'm just a victim of my emotions - NOT!).
Since most things involve a sequence, we can intervene in the sequence when we note that something is "off", such as when we feel bad, which indicates that something is done wrongly and/or that a belief is false. (Until one is more educated in how things work, one can still believe in "the mystical" - and not see that all of it is mechanical, using biochemicals and electricity to cause something - and to form patterns in our brain to bring back up when something associated happens - these are 'thoughts' which we must learn are just thoughts and not facts. The 700 lb. woman on Doctor Oz, after losing 120 lbs remarked that one major realization for her was that "thoughts aren't facts!")
If a person was proactive, acting as soon as possible, and noted that something didn't work and then dug into the beliefs behind it AND then "solved it" with an updated correct belief that would work, then the person would eliminate 80 - 99% of false beliefs - and live a much better life! Note that people who are problem free and very strong emotionally and mentally are the ones who complete and solve things right away, leaving no crap behind.
For now I cannot see another way around it. It seems that one must be educated in the basics of how things work - and spend time learning "Problem Solving" as a key, vital, essential skill that will enable a person to become happy (happiness is an emotion, but also it can be a long-term trained way of thinking that repeats through self-designed triggers to achieve happy emotions, such as feeling fulfilled, prosperous, fortunate, solid, strong).
The question is: Will you do this - and will you do it with sufficient mastery?
If you will, I guarantee you happiness. If you don't, you'll continue to operate in life with alot of unsolved, unresolved problems and beliefs.
Your choice,
Keith
Read the sections: Link from Life Management Contents/Links into the Basic Life Skills, in sequence: Learning Authentically
Thinking Effectively
Effective Decision-Making And Problem Solving
An interesting comment I got in a phone message.
It seems that there is a spectrum from no rationality, which is called insanity, on forward to some items that cannot be deal with rationally (very, very few) and being as rational as one can be, within the limits of being human. Of course, certain things are not amenable to bringing up to consciousness, where the rational brain center can then operate on it.
However, we did evolve to have an unusual gift of a higher brain, one which is capable of logic and discrimination (to check to see if things are factual). It is our greatest gift.
Yes, we probably can't "get in touch" with our livers and then instruct them on what to do, but we can rationally do everything around that which we are capable of, from reducing stress to changing nutrition to ... And certain reactions are instinctual, such as blushing or even "excitement" stimulated by some evolved response system.
In some way, we process data according to a pattern that may be built in and/or habitual PLUS we can use our rational minds to intentionally process data to improve our results in life. The mistake many people make, out of misunderstanding, is to generalize the idea that emotions "seem to be" in charge or that they just come about with no control and no ability to influence them.
Of course, in any one circumstance they may not be 100% controllable, but surely we are able to observe what happened (an emotion just popped up and it felt "bad") and then to choose to act on it, especially when we've trained ourselves to do so instead of going "belly up" and doing a victim act (I'm just a victim of my emotions - NOT!).
Since most things involve a sequence, we can intervene in the sequence when we note that something is "off", such as when we feel bad, which indicates that something is done wrongly and/or that a belief is false. (Until one is more educated in how things work, one can still believe in "the mystical" - and not see that all of it is mechanical, using biochemicals and electricity to cause something - and to form patterns in our brain to bring back up when something associated happens - these are 'thoughts' which we must learn are just thoughts and not facts. The 700 lb. woman on Doctor Oz, after losing 120 lbs remarked that one major realization for her was that "thoughts aren't facts!")
If a person was proactive, acting as soon as possible, and noted that something didn't work and then dug into the beliefs behind it AND then "solved it" with an updated correct belief that would work, then the person would eliminate 80 - 99% of false beliefs - and live a much better life! Note that people who are problem free and very strong emotionally and mentally are the ones who complete and solve things right away, leaving no crap behind.
For now I cannot see another way around it. It seems that one must be educated in the basics of how things work - and spend time learning "Problem Solving" as a key, vital, essential skill that will enable a person to become happy (happiness is an emotion, but also it can be a long-term trained way of thinking that repeats through self-designed triggers to achieve happy emotions, such as feeling fulfilled, prosperous, fortunate, solid, strong).
The question is: Will you do this - and will you do it with sufficient mastery?
If you will, I guarantee you happiness. If you don't, you'll continue to operate in life with alot of unsolved, unresolved problems and beliefs.
Your choice,
Keith
Read the sections: Link from Life Management Contents/Links into the Basic Life Skills, in sequence: Learning Authentically
Thinking Effectively
Effective Decision-Making And Problem Solving
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Partially incapacitated - And life is still wonderful!
I talk to my friend and she is often bringing up the reasons why she is held back from living her life happily.
By doing that she is perpetuating the routine that is guaranteed to make oneself unhappy.
She fails to "see" what is "there", present in a human being's life - not the current "stuff" but the blessings of being human, living way above subsistence, and all of what she has accumulated over the years in terms of permanent knowledge and awareness. She spends her life focusing on and bemoaning what "isn't there" - she isn't as good as the best, not living up to her parents' expectations, is partially incapacitated, etc. and etc.
I wrote a few years back for an angry, down in the dumps lady (see The Disempowered Empowerer linked from the Case Studies main page) a piece that addressed focusing on what you have rather than what you don't have (see Loss page, link to What I Have Compared To So-Called Losses). This is perhaps the greatest secret to happiness and the opposite is the greatest cause of unhappiness. Be sure to read it and follow the plan in it.
Although I am sympathetic whenever she feels emotional "pain" or physical exhaustion, I notice that most of it is caused by her and/or a residual from years of making herself stressed. I do not judge her for that, but I do know that it is not serving her well.
She could, instead, say "well, yes I do have these conditions, some of which can be changed and maybe some of which cannot, but now I just acknowledge them and get on with my life." She seems to have resisted this so far, insisting on the "conditions" of her life being the problem. Read Partially Incapacitated - 60% Of Wonderful Is Wonderful!
May you "see" all that is there in life. We are so incredibly fortunate.
Keith
In case you wondered, here is a list of some of her legitimate conditions which she will use as rationalizations: (See How To Create Unhappiness, which she has done well but should start doing the opposite of.)
1. Anybody would feel bad having been brought up by my parents.
2. I am stuck with Social Anxiety panic attacks that ruin my life and keep me lonely too.
3. My energy is so low from hypoglycemia.
4. I'm just not as good as those doctors and other accomplished people.
At the very least, she would be less unhappy if she merely stopped telling the story over and over and over and over and over...
By doing that she is perpetuating the routine that is guaranteed to make oneself unhappy.
She fails to "see" what is "there", present in a human being's life - not the current "stuff" but the blessings of being human, living way above subsistence, and all of what she has accumulated over the years in terms of permanent knowledge and awareness. She spends her life focusing on and bemoaning what "isn't there" - she isn't as good as the best, not living up to her parents' expectations, is partially incapacitated, etc. and etc.
I wrote a few years back for an angry, down in the dumps lady (see The Disempowered Empowerer linked from the Case Studies main page) a piece that addressed focusing on what you have rather than what you don't have (see Loss page, link to What I Have Compared To So-Called Losses). This is perhaps the greatest secret to happiness and the opposite is the greatest cause of unhappiness. Be sure to read it and follow the plan in it.
Although I am sympathetic whenever she feels emotional "pain" or physical exhaustion, I notice that most of it is caused by her and/or a residual from years of making herself stressed. I do not judge her for that, but I do know that it is not serving her well.
She could, instead, say "well, yes I do have these conditions, some of which can be changed and maybe some of which cannot, but now I just acknowledge them and get on with my life." She seems to have resisted this so far, insisting on the "conditions" of her life being the problem. Read Partially Incapacitated - 60% Of Wonderful Is Wonderful!
May you "see" all that is there in life. We are so incredibly fortunate.
Keith
In case you wondered, here is a list of some of her legitimate conditions which she will use as rationalizations: (See How To Create Unhappiness, which she has done well but should start doing the opposite of.)
1. Anybody would feel bad having been brought up by my parents.
2. I am stuck with Social Anxiety panic attacks that ruin my life and keep me lonely too.
3. My energy is so low from hypoglycemia.
4. I'm just not as good as those doctors and other accomplished people.
At the very least, she would be less unhappy if she merely stopped telling the story over and over and over and over and over...
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Perfectly Practice Applying The Psychological Knowledge You Have
We all "learn' little tidbits about life, but we do not integrate and consolidate them into our lives.
The secret to progress in life is to notice what does not work and determine what does and then consolidate that into one's life, essentially building a higher level floor from which to operate.
Few people do this, but those who do relatively soon pass up those who are smarter than them.
You'll know if you practice irrational thinking because you will see the effect in your life: your life won't work nearly as well as you'd like AND you won't feel good about life and what is going on - and you'll blame it on conditions or circumstances at the time.
When one engages in Authentic Learning, one takes the knowledge from a learning (data transferring) situation or from making a mistake and then completes it and installs it so it is useful. Knowledge by itself is not power - it is only 'potential power'. When people say "I already know that" but they don't have appropriately good results, we know that they are engaged in Insufficient Knowing.
Since life is based on the decisions one makes in life and the conversations one has with oneself, one should become highly excellent at the prime tool for doing that: Rational Thinking (using "Critical Thinking" skills). And we know from the studies of genius that it takes hours of practice and paying attention to what needs to be corrected.
Maxie Maultsby, Jr., M.D. (psychiatrist), hit the nail on the head when he strongly suggested that individuals use the Rational Analysis form and process 4 times a day for at least a month plus "practicing" in your mind (called 'Rational Emotive Imagery') until you're quite good at it.
If you do this, you'll be fine tuning and better installing your tidbits of knowledge and, most importantly, you'll develop the primary skill you need to live an effective and happy life - regardless of circumstances, being happy no matter what.
I highly, absolutely recommend you do this practical implementation, as reading randomly even on this site will not "do it" for you.
Within one month you'll be thinking more clearly and no longer engaging in the 'untruth' or indulging the thought processes that make you unhappy or less powerful in life.
I think this is vital for all living human beings. Please do it!
Keith
As recommended in the write-ups, consider doing the whole process completely yourself and then taking it to a counselor for additional refinement and learning.
The secret to progress in life is to notice what does not work and determine what does and then consolidate that into one's life, essentially building a higher level floor from which to operate.
Few people do this, but those who do relatively soon pass up those who are smarter than them.
You'll know if you practice irrational thinking because you will see the effect in your life: your life won't work nearly as well as you'd like AND you won't feel good about life and what is going on - and you'll blame it on conditions or circumstances at the time.
When one engages in Authentic Learning, one takes the knowledge from a learning (data transferring) situation or from making a mistake and then completes it and installs it so it is useful. Knowledge by itself is not power - it is only 'potential power'. When people say "I already know that" but they don't have appropriately good results, we know that they are engaged in Insufficient Knowing.
Since life is based on the decisions one makes in life and the conversations one has with oneself, one should become highly excellent at the prime tool for doing that: Rational Thinking (using "Critical Thinking" skills). And we know from the studies of genius that it takes hours of practice and paying attention to what needs to be corrected.
Maxie Maultsby, Jr., M.D. (psychiatrist), hit the nail on the head when he strongly suggested that individuals use the Rational Analysis form and process 4 times a day for at least a month plus "practicing" in your mind (called 'Rational Emotive Imagery') until you're quite good at it.
If you do this, you'll be fine tuning and better installing your tidbits of knowledge and, most importantly, you'll develop the primary skill you need to live an effective and happy life - regardless of circumstances, being happy no matter what.
I highly, absolutely recommend you do this practical implementation, as reading randomly even on this site will not "do it" for you.
Within one month you'll be thinking more clearly and no longer engaging in the 'untruth' or indulging the thought processes that make you unhappy or less powerful in life.
I think this is vital for all living human beings. Please do it!
Keith
As recommended in the write-ups, consider doing the whole process completely yourself and then taking it to a counselor for additional refinement and learning.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Gratitude - Some things are hard to see - Watch this
10 minutes... Simple gratitude...
Simple, easy - and this is exactly what we need to "see" in life.
Watch Gratitude.
I suggest you tickle this and play it every six months....
Keith
Incidently, gratitude is a feeling. When we practice it, it develops a "muscle" that makes it easier to feel in life - in an ever increasing upward spiral. But few people see its importance - but it as at the core of happiness, taking away the focus we have on the opposite, where we create unhappiness based on "stinkin' thinkin'".
Simple, easy - and this is exactly what we need to "see" in life.
Watch Gratitude.
I suggest you tickle this and play it every six months....
Keith
Incidently, gratitude is a feeling. When we practice it, it develops a "muscle" that makes it easier to feel in life - in an ever increasing upward spiral. But few people see its importance - but it as at the core of happiness, taking away the focus we have on the opposite, where we create unhappiness based on "stinkin' thinkin'".
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Thoughts Cause Emotions, Not Events - Do you completely "get" it?
I recommend that you read and get clear on the principles and understanding involved in ABCDEF ("Rational Analysis"), If you do not accept these, you cannot move along very effectively in life.
___________________________________________________________________
If a person is thinking incorrectly about what causes what, then a person cannot or will not manage life effectively.
Always, if we want to create a desired result, we have to identify and implement something that causes the desired result. (This is simple cause-effect, which you MUST understand and accept if you are to be effective in life.)
If we think desired results happen magically, then we are out of control - and a little too far along the scale toward insanity, too far from high sanity.
People who do not do well in life are the victims of "out there" (circumstances and other people determine how I feel, often languaged in the passive form of "make me feel").
People who do well in life see that circumstances and other people are just neutral, objective happenings, not causing any emotions directly. They know that only what they add to that neutrality is what makes them feel emotion. They know that it is them causing the emotion, not the outside stuff. (They also see their responsibility in creating, and unraveling, complex behaviors and patterns that seem to have the power over us.)
They live "at cause" over their life. They know that if there is an effect that is not desired that they created it (caused it) - and that they just need to not continue that cause and to decide and then do instead what causes the desired result.
Unless you are convinced of this with regard to the fact that your beliefs/thoughts determine your emotions (and actions), you will not be working on the correct cause and thus will not achieve the results you want in life.
And those who do well in life make sure that they complete all that is needed to cause what is important in life. They do not stop until they achieve the result. They do not "try". They do not say "well, I was too busy". They just do it.
If you want to be successful, you must use Critical Thinking, aka Rational Thinking, which you can practice and use in The Rational Analysis (truth telling and falsity challenging) form, which you'd link to from the ABCDEF page. Successful people will follow the protocol of doing it 4 times a day until they notice one day that they feel much better about life and are 'thinking straight'.
Do you understand this? Will you live your life according to this?
I hope you will not stop until you've achieved true happiness (and that you enjoy the many benefits along the way as you learn and grow).
Keith
Although there are a number of good sources of how to understand and apply these principles and practices, I single out to recommend you to Help Yourself To Happiness, Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr., M.D..
___________________________________________________________________
If a person is thinking incorrectly about what causes what, then a person cannot or will not manage life effectively.
Always, if we want to create a desired result, we have to identify and implement something that causes the desired result. (This is simple cause-effect, which you MUST understand and accept if you are to be effective in life.)
If we think desired results happen magically, then we are out of control - and a little too far along the scale toward insanity, too far from high sanity.
People who do not do well in life are the victims of "out there" (circumstances and other people determine how I feel, often languaged in the passive form of "make me feel").
People who do well in life see that circumstances and other people are just neutral, objective happenings, not causing any emotions directly. They know that only what they add to that neutrality is what makes them feel emotion. They know that it is them causing the emotion, not the outside stuff. (They also see their responsibility in creating, and unraveling, complex behaviors and patterns that seem to have the power over us.)
They live "at cause" over their life. They know that if there is an effect that is not desired that they created it (caused it) - and that they just need to not continue that cause and to decide and then do instead what causes the desired result.
Unless you are convinced of this with regard to the fact that your beliefs/thoughts determine your emotions (and actions), you will not be working on the correct cause and thus will not achieve the results you want in life.
And those who do well in life make sure that they complete all that is needed to cause what is important in life. They do not stop until they achieve the result. They do not "try". They do not say "well, I was too busy". They just do it.
If you want to be successful, you must use Critical Thinking, aka Rational Thinking, which you can practice and use in The Rational Analysis (truth telling and falsity challenging) form, which you'd link to from the ABCDEF page. Successful people will follow the protocol of doing it 4 times a day until they notice one day that they feel much better about life and are 'thinking straight'.
Do you understand this? Will you live your life according to this?
I hope you will not stop until you've achieved true happiness (and that you enjoy the many benefits along the way as you learn and grow).
Keith
Although there are a number of good sources of how to understand and apply these principles and practices, I single out to recommend you to Help Yourself To Happiness, Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr., M.D..
Friday, November 11, 2011
Metaprograms And Your Happiness
We often try to solve a problem by not working at solving the problem directly, in a kind of wishful thinking.
We feel lonely and then we use an affirmation to cover it over or we do something else to make us feel better. That's all good stuff, but it is not the same as solving the problem.
One of the problems with problems is that they are based on a number of components and have some complexity.
We humans basically operate mechanically off of metaprogams, which are master programs that are a combination of other programs.
We can't "solve" these problems all at once or in some simple way anymore than we can eat an elephant all at once. We can only do it a bite (a piece) at a time - and eventually we'll have the result of having eaten an elephant.
Metaprograms can be programs that cause a problem or they can be programs that cause a good result.
For instance, at Heartmath they get good results by using metaprograms that include a desirable effect, caused on purpose.
You are asked to get in touch with your heart. That means something to you (i.e. you have a metaprogram associated with it), which usually results in deeper and slower breathing, a softening, and a good feeling and so on. All we have to do is initiate the metaprogram and we're off and running - in a good direction.
So we want to use the good metaprogram and to correct the bad feeling metaprograms - and to the extent we do the latter, we can make very, very rapid and deep changes in how we experience life. If we don't, then guess what!? We get to repeat the bad program over and over and over and over - Sisyphus-like.
See Metaprograms.
One thing that would be good for you to do, and then share with me, is make up a list of "good feeling" metaprograms. That list will give us lots of metaprograms to initiate to "feel good", which are healthy than eating ice cream to create that feeling.
Yours toward happiness,
Keith
We feel lonely and then we use an affirmation to cover it over or we do something else to make us feel better. That's all good stuff, but it is not the same as solving the problem.
One of the problems with problems is that they are based on a number of components and have some complexity.
We humans basically operate mechanically off of metaprogams, which are master programs that are a combination of other programs.
We can't "solve" these problems all at once or in some simple way anymore than we can eat an elephant all at once. We can only do it a bite (a piece) at a time - and eventually we'll have the result of having eaten an elephant.
Metaprograms can be programs that cause a problem or they can be programs that cause a good result.
For instance, at Heartmath they get good results by using metaprograms that include a desirable effect, caused on purpose.
You are asked to get in touch with your heart. That means something to you (i.e. you have a metaprogram associated with it), which usually results in deeper and slower breathing, a softening, and a good feeling and so on. All we have to do is initiate the metaprogram and we're off and running - in a good direction.
So we want to use the good metaprogram and to correct the bad feeling metaprograms - and to the extent we do the latter, we can make very, very rapid and deep changes in how we experience life. If we don't, then guess what!? We get to repeat the bad program over and over and over and over - Sisyphus-like.
See Metaprograms.
One thing that would be good for you to do, and then share with me, is make up a list of "good feeling" metaprograms. That list will give us lots of metaprograms to initiate to "feel good", which are healthy than eating ice cream to create that feeling.
Yours toward happiness,
Keith
Saturday, November 5, 2011
The Healthy Person's View Of Life
We often approach life from the point of view of having to solve our difficulties and problems, but most of those are merely figments of our imagination based on false beliefs.
If we operate without those false beliefs, we have a healthy viewpoint of life, as it actually is, with its opportunities and incredible blessings which we get to experience through our incredible brain.
If you read The Healthy Person's View Of Life, you'll note that it is not based on how circumstances show up in our life nor on being dependent on other people.
The Healthy Person merely "goes for it" - just works on creating that which makes him or her happy.
And without all the periphery, made-up struggles from false beliefs, life becomes easy and almost effortless...and we create alot of happiness for ourselves...
We are truly blessed with this opportunity and all that is in the physical world....
(See also the section called One's View Of Life.)
If we operate without those false beliefs, we have a healthy viewpoint of life, as it actually is, with its opportunities and incredible blessings which we get to experience through our incredible brain.
If you read The Healthy Person's View Of Life, you'll note that it is not based on how circumstances show up in our life nor on being dependent on other people.
The Healthy Person merely "goes for it" - just works on creating that which makes him or her happy.
And without all the periphery, made-up struggles from false beliefs, life becomes easy and almost effortless...and we create alot of happiness for ourselves...
We are truly blessed with this opportunity and all that is in the physical world....
(See also the section called One's View Of Life.)
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