A HAPPY AND EFFECTIVE LIFE

The Realities Of Life

2009-11-21T14:18:00.000-08:00

High mental and emotional health come when one learns and accepts the realities of life - and then works in accordance with them to create a life one loves.

These are the Realities Of Life. Included are links to the Principles and Laws Of Life.

If you honor the realities and laws of life, you will achieve happiness, for sure.

(Link by clicking on the title of this piece, above.)

Go through each and correct whatever you are thinking that conflicts with those (or if you disagree, shoot me an email and I'll address it).

This will definitely change your life for the better!

Keith

EXCUSES BEGONE! POSSIBILITYLAND

2009-11-18T17:12:00.000-08:00

Justifications, excuses, and reasons-why-not keep us trapped.

And they become part of our identity, as they seem so fixed and unchangeable.

But in this conversation with Barbara she really nailed what was happening and how to let go of it.

She was listening to Wayne Dyer in a recorded seminar when Dyer brought up Byron Katie's "truth test". Her justifications and reasons-why-not did not meet the truth test.

Therefore, she had no argument left that there weren't any possibilities of her getting better.

A great and illuminating conversation - and a breakthrough for Barbara!

I think you'll get some clarity out of reading the piece I wrote (click on the title of this blog).

Keith

The Beliefs Of A Happy Person - An Example

2009-10-10T17:44:00.000-07:00

Success leaves clues...

So it pays to find our what a successful person does and then to do something at least close to it.

Here, under Examples Of Philosophies Of Happy People, read The Viewpoints And Affirmations Of A Happy Woman.

I hope you will use this to derive similar types of beliefs (or even copy some of these, as they are very workable).

Keith

Link:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Philosophical/Overall/ExamplesPhilHappyPeople.html

The "Cure" Lies Not In Giant Leaps But In Doing Doable Steps

2009-10-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

The conversation that "I have to be more confident and then I'll be happy" has some mistruth in it, but the biggest factor is that confidence (or any desired state) is only attainable through discreet "doables".

"Doables" are actual actions you can take to "get to" some desired result. One cannot "do" the result, one can only do the steps to the result.

When a person says "I have done that before and I haven't achieved the results" that means that they did not find the discreet steps that need to be done to get to the result - that they did something else which sounded similar but was, for sure, incomplete.

An extreme example is "I have tried positive thinking before and it didn't work." The problem is not "positive thinking", but identifying all the steps to implement that state of being and to get the ultimate results that one wants.

As Tony Robbins (and any NLP practitioner) would say: If you can find out exactly what the other person did, you can achieve the results that the other person achieved.

Again, if you did not get the result, it is that you didn't discover and then do the doables.

May you achieve much success in what it takes for you to be truly happy,

Keith

Also, note that one can eliminate alot of pain if one solves the "cause" of a problem and not just the symptoms:
http://happyeffectivelife.blogspot.com/2009/08/eliminating-97-of-pain-in-life.html

Link to The Basis For Using Doables - There Is No Success Without This:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/LifeMgmt/SuccessRe8d/Doables.html

The Thinking Of A Happy Person - As A Model

2009-10-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

One of the happiest people I know did me the favor of sharing with me an "affirmations" writing she did a few years back.

I can see why she is so happy with a viewpoint and philosophy like that.

You may enjoy reading The Viewpoints And Affirmations Of A Happy Woman. You can link to the page it is on by clicking on the link below. The page is called Examples Of Philosophies Of Happy People.

It is easier to formulate good affirmations, statements, and declarations (all part of the Affirming/Empowering part of the Psychology section) from already written examples, picking and choosing and adapting them to what fits you .

An excellent, powerful philosophy will totally transform one's life and happiness. I recommend that you complete one for yourself, as it will save you alot of "misfires" and unnecessary unhappiness.

Keith

Links:

Examples Of The Philosophies Of Happy People:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Philosophical/Overall/ExamplesPhilHappyPeople.html
Empowering Self-Conversations:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/SiteMapIBIAffEm.html
Philosophy Of Life:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/SiteMapICPhilos.html

100% RESPONSIBILITY????

2009-09-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

Do you "get to" be a bit irresponsible, a bit "at effect"?

You can choose to "feel" that way and "think" that way, but it doesn't work.

Most people don't know what this fully means.

Some think they are powerful, yet they get angry and impatient and unkind. I can guarantee that is not responsible nor fully powerful.

Some think they get to be rescued, but that doesn't work either.

See where you are on the spectrum? You may be surprised.

To your next key decision that will lead to a more vital life,

Keith

http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/LifeMgmt/PowerInLife/Responsibility100percent.html

WHAT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR

2009-09-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

Since unhappiness comes from the idea of lack, the opposite is the idea of gratitude for what is.

I've added a section called What To Be Grateful For (click on title above to link) so that you can have something that will instigate more ideas for you to use and hopefully to help in keeping that "attitude of gratitude" that will serve you toward greater happiness.

It is my opinion that there is no greater creator of happiness (and/or uncreator of unhappiness).

Spend a few hours at getting these down, as it will pay off tremendously in your life. The benefits are far beyond what you currently believe!

Enjoy!

Keith

Links:

The Gratitude section:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/SiteMapIBIIGratitude.html
The examples:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Psychological/Gratitude/ExamplesWhatToBeGratefulFor.html
The Reminders Notebook:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/LifePlan/GroundRemNtbk/GRINotebookAndContents.html

"SPIRITUALITY" CAN BE "NOT POWERFUL"

2009-09-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

Many people use such terms as "may the spirit guide me". This is both useful and possibly harmful.

It is useful in that it opens one to accessing more parts of the brain for a better overall view of the relevant facts.

It is not useful to the degree it is believed to be anything other than a metaphor (but one that is not true, per se). There is no provable "spirit" out there, one that is operating as an independent entity from oneself. It has no more validation than making believe and personifying the devil - that is all magical thinking.

We "make up" things to explain the unexplainable or not fully seen aspects of life. Some make-ups are useful, but it is far more useful to use facts and full reasoning.

If we use facts and full reasoning, we will come to the conclusion that the power is in us, in our incredible memory and our incredible ability to reason about what we access from memory and what we observe in the real world. We are the source of the power - not some outside entity.

Read this section and see if you agree and want to use the Statement Of Fact And Intent, at the end of the discussion.

The point here is that it is more powerful to recognize that the source of power is not "out there" in some spiritual being, but is entirely within you and entirely accessible and usable for more effectively creating the life you want.

May you be more powerful in your life as a result of this understanding.

Keith

http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Philosophical/SpiritualSuccessSelfImprov/SpiritualityDefined.html#top

OPTIMISM BY HELEN KELLER

2009-09-16T22:09:00.000-07:00

Try being less than an optimist after reading this piece excerpting from the book Optimism, by Helen Keller. (Click on the title of the article.)

She makes it clear that we need not suffer if we don't have it all.

She makes it clear what is valuable and attainable - and that there is no reason for anything other than optimism about life.

She reaffirms what practices we need to do to assure optimism.

She reaffirms what the highest thinkers of the ages have determined.

If you hold in mind her circumstances of being blind, deaf, and dumb, you will be so moved by what she says.

Enjoy!

And I hope you'll make the choice!

Keith

http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Psychological/Happiness/OptimismHelenKeller.html

EVEN QUICK RELAXATION HAS BIG PAYOFFS!

2009-09-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

RELAXATION---Crucial for HEALTH
© C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D.

"As early as 1929, Edmund Jacobson, in his masterpiece, PROGRESSIVE RELAXATION, demonstrated that 80% of what were at that time called psychomatic diseases (and I would call stress diseases) could be controlled by his form of deep relaxation. By 1932, J.H. Schultz had demonstrated the same effect with his technique, autogenic training. By 1969, the first of 6 volumes on Autogenic Therapy, with 2600 scientific references, demonstrated the effectiveness of autogenic training in improving athletic performance, business effectiveness, and student grades, as well as successful treatment for a majority of stress illnesses, such as hypertension, anxiety, many types of pain, etc. There are thousands of studies on the benefits of deep relaxation. In the 1970's Herb Benson demonstrated that relaxation lowered adrenalin production and insulin requirement by 50% for 24 hours! "

Is that enough to convince you to take advantage of these simple techniques, linked from our site?

I love the practices of relaxation in a few minutes from the counting backward and from the muscle tense-relax technique, as it takes virtually no time and has such a great effect in the middle of an otherwise adrenaline rushed day!

Keith

http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Physical/RelaxationRest/RelaxationMainPage.html

MY TOP 25 GRATITUDE AFFIRMATIONS

2009-09-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

Although the site (www.thelifemanagementalliance.com) has many affirmations and items to be grateful for and to pick from, I realize how difficult it is to just focus on a few.

But I wanted something where I didn't have to flip through so many pages, as I had included in my Reminders Notebook (see link below) all of the affirmation pieces. (I do, however, recommend you consider keeping them available in your notebook for perusing occasionally.)

So I offer what seemed to strike me as enough to fully re-center me on how great life is and how much of a privilege it is just to be alive.

And, I am grateful that I had the time and resources to be able to add this to my Happiness Tool Kit, where I can review it every day to make sure that my mind and myself are in a very high state of resourcefulness and "feeling good"! (Click on the article title to get a copy of the top 25 piece.)

Keith

Link to Reminders Notebook:
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/LifePlan/GroundRemNtbk/GRINotebookAndContents.html

FROM NEGATIVE TO POWERFUL THINKING

2009-09-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

I was thinking this was all a bit like sports, where we want the "right" team to win.

One team has been in existence for years and year and has great and overpowering abilities. It is the "Protection Team", with its plays dependent on plays from the old days, but they are so well practiced that they work.

The other team is fresh and new, but bound and determined to be a winner in as little time as possible, but realizes its practical limitations.

The team does not have a "playbook" and has no listing of what it needs to practice to get good at, but it would seem that would be a super priority.

The playbook might not be so great at first, but it'll shape up over time as we "learn" on the playing field what works and what doesn't - and we will be sure to learn as quickly as possible, since losing to the other team is not so pleasant.

This new team realizes it will lose a lot at first, so it's main short term goals will be to learn as much as possible as quickly as possible and as well as possible. And this team knows that it may not be the best team ever (though it could be) but that it will, absolutely, learn to be a good team that will have a good share of wins with fewer and fewer losses....

The equivalent of a "playbook" and a "list of practices" is The Reminders Notebook (click on title to link).

May your "Positivity Team" prosper from its new plays and its practicing of what works!

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

HAPPINESS PRACTICE: SINGING TO YOURSELF

2009-09-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

One of the "happy practices" is to sing an inspiring song in full voice.

I notice that when I do that in my non-church church (The Peace Song) I feel more powerful and more expressive and more up.

I have read also that the brain circuitry required to sing is completely different than what is used for the "worry" or "negativity" circuits, so that singing is not only a diversion but also creates a "rewiring" to more of the "cheery" stuff!

Also, it is one of the recommended practices to use when it is necessary to stop a negative spiraling thought pattern - you know, one of those useless and usually harmful Dumb And Dumber conversations using the old circuits...just start powerfully singing one of your songs!
(You can even do it in your dream-like sleeping state, but obviously not outloud.)

It is useful to identify 3 or 4 or more songs that you love and are positively inspiring and then learn them. Keep a list in your Reminders Notebook. See the Inspiration section, Music, for sources of lyrics and a few artists who sing positive inspiring songs.

Let me know how this works for you and/or any suggestions for great songs for people.

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

Link to Reminders Notebook: http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/LifePlan/GroundRemNtbk/GRINotebookAndContents.html

Link to Music: http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Resources/MusicVideos.html

THE PAST - NO LONGER A SOURCE OF PAIN

2009-08-31T16:07:00.000-07:00

There is no legitimate reason under the sun as to why you should experience any future or present pain from the past!!!!!

"Of course!," you say, "but how in the heck do I do that?"

It's fairly simple, almost too simple, but it is very doable.

Read the section called "The Past And Now, The Future, Regrets, And A 'Poor' Past." (Click on the article title above, to link to it.)

In it you'll find a new way of looking at the past as simply the path that got you here, where you could not have done any better given your circumstances, your beliefs from the inputs you got, and your awareness level from all of those. The full understanding of this stops at least some of the arguments for shame, blame, regret, etc.

Developing an arsenal of "answers" and using them in conjuction with no longer tolerating negative conversations, ever, ever, ever is implemented through the use of the same methods where one deals with any negative or depressive thinking as suggested in the special strategic piece included in that article. (I recommend that you build that arsenal, starting with the Re-Mind-Ers Notebook.)

Note that you can stop all negative thinking about the future and yourself also, using the same simple technique.

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Psychological/EmotionManagement/PastAndNow.html

ELIMINATING 97+% OF PAIN IN LIFE

2009-08-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

As pointed out in the section entitled Pain (click on article title to link), the great irony of life is that we spend huge amounts of effort and time seeking relief from the pain and stress, which we created in the first place.

Wouldn't it make alot more sense and save a lot of time and pain, to just not create the pain and stress in the first place?

Part of the problem is that we seek so many things from others, going through lots of failures, attempting to exert lots of control and manipulation. The plain truth is that we are seeking them from the "wrong" source in the first place!

In the Pain section, we propose that there is a Simple Solution, one that simply eliminates the cause in the first place, one which cuts out the waste of time involved in trying to cure the symptoms.

Wouldn't it be great to not spend so much time in life seeking relief and waiting to be happier or more settled?

Read this and the links to The Game Of Life and to the section about what your needs really are!

Yes, 'tis very possible to eliminate 97+% of pain in life! (Also, view the movie A Beautiful Mind, as it relates to all of this!)

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/LifeMgmt/OverallLM/GAMEOFLIFE.html
http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/SiteMapIBINeeds.html

ELIMINATE PSYCHOLOGICAL "PROBLEMS" VIA PHILOSOPHY

2009-08-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

If we had a sound philosophy, we wouldn't spend time feeling psychologically bad about whether we were "good enough" or whether life is "safe" enough.

Basically, with a sound philosophical understanding on how life works, we would not create unhappiness. We would not "fall short" nor set ourselves up to do that.

Philosophy is a set of viewpoints from which life can be seen realistically. If we resist reality, we then suffer, as the Buddhists pointed out.

Philosophy could also be said to be a "set of beliefs". We deal with beliefs in psychology and we identify dysfunctional beliefs as the cause of all problems in psychology - and rightly so!

So if we had correct beliefs about the world, life, and who we are, then we would not suffer in the first place.

So, I think learning philosophy (the practical parts) could be incredibly useful - and eliminate psychological problems!!!!

If we accept reality, then we accept undesired outcomes. If we accept undesired outcomes and take full responsibility for our happiness, then we eliminate a major source of fear and can become Fearless (see that section!).

If self-worth and being "good enough" were properly understood, then we could get rid of the misery and just apply our efforts toward maximizing our "Feeling Good".

Simply click on this article's title to link to the Life Philosophy section and click on the topics on the right side - get a better perspective and understanding of life and you'll eliminate alot of the BS (belief systems) that is harming your psyche - and you'll be free just to enjoy life!

Read those, and then put together an incredibly empowering Life Philosophy that will result in enduring happiness!

Bon voyage!

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

YOUR BRAIN IS MECHANICAL - DON'T FORGET THAT!

2009-08-21T17:30:00.000-07:00

Your brain is just a mechanical object.

Most of it is in the primitive but highly effective category.

But what is it highly effective for?

For doing things over and over, automatically, to help us survive.

But only a small part of it is able to think and be directly used.

The problem of unhappiness lies in our taking the mechanical, almost random thoughts and heeding their content. They are designed to barrage you until you do something with them. They are designed for survival, not happiness. And they'll bombard you with thousands of thoughts a day, most of which are not at all useful.

They will mostly try to corral you, telling you you're bad or something is wrong, so you'll do something about it.

But the problem is that most of the thoughts are no longer useful, many unthought out since childhood!

And if you're letting a mechanical thing run your life with old thoughts running along a neuronal pathway over and over again, you are letting Dumb and Dumber (see the mind discussion on The Site) run your life.

To have great things in your mind, guess who has to put them there!

You, using your higher brain.

How?

One way that works is to put together what you want to focus on and to create new thoughts and beliefs that you want to review and memorize. To do that, you could simply populate the Reminders Notebook and work with that. It is marvelous for regaining your perspective and gaining great confidence and happiness in life.

You'll transform your thoughts and literally change your life dramatically for the better.

Try it! It's worth it!

Keith
See http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/ . Click on the title above to go to the Reminders Notebook section.

DEATH (OF FAULTY THINKING) BY IMMERSION

2009-08-01T18:55:00.000-07:00

One of the most successful fastest turnarounds I've ever seen by one person in the low self esteem and no-power pit was accomplished by immersion into what works and what is positive.

She sought every bit of advice from me and did every exercise recommended and read every book, etc.

She collected the most awesome set of CD's that I've seen and listened over and over to them.

Today, she is one of the most positive, enlightened people I know, offering even me a higher perspective at times.

Some of you may want to do some of the things she did and you might enjoy and greatly benefit from the The Master List Of Key Books, CD's, DVDs, And Workshops. (Click on title of this article to link and then click on the master list link.)

Have a great time on your bibliojourney to high happiness by immersion!

Keith

THE FIRST LESSON IN "MIND MANAGEMENT"

2009-08-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

Mark Hyman, M. D., author the The Ultra Brain Solution, when talking about OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) remarked that one of the most impactful strategies was to teach them to, when they have a compulsive thought, to say to themselves:

"It's not real! It's only my brain talking!"

You might recall in the movie Beautiful Mind how he learned that when he "saw" those people that he no longer needed to believe they were real and he knew they were just figments of one's imagination (lower brain, automatic signals without thinking, that simply run along the established neuronal pathway!).

Believing in ghosts is not a great idea. Taking the advice of fools or jesters is not a good idea. Believing our thoughts are true or that messages from the lower brain are true is an absolutely horrible, unwise idea!!!!!!

So, how do you get to the point of actually realizing this? Read about mind management on The Site. And, believe it or not, address every unverified, not-yet-reasoned-out thought with "It's not real. It's only my brain talking! It is not a reasoned out thought nor necessarily true. I will rely only on reasoned out conclusions in my life."

I think it is important to realize that most of us are somewhere on the OCD spectrum, in the milder worry and undue concern areas. With this simple practice, one can move even further down the spectrum, to a much happier place. (Some of you may find it useful to read the section on Worry, under the Psychology section.)

Believe it or not, listing the above statements in the affirmations you read every day will lower the degree of worry and calm your mind over the long term.

I hope you do that.

Keith

The Site: www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

LONELINESS - WHAT IS IT?

2009-08-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

(Click on title to link to that section.)

Ah, loneliness. A dear old subject, especially as I see more and more people in today's culture "suffering" from it.

However, people with a certain mindset don't actualy suffer from it, though they might feel some twinges from our old instinctual system. But, as we've discussed, we can use our higher brain to choose another route.

So, I've addressed loneliness on the site. There is the "why do we get lonely?" question and answer, of course.

But we discuss the source, from some childhood thinking that does not serve us anymore. (I know, you don't buy that statement...yet.)

Then we link into some great articles on what to do to cope with loneliness, some of which buy into the victimness of it but do still provide actions (which is the opposite of "victim") and some of which are very, very clear that it is a "mental construct" that we just made up and can dissolve upon examination.

Of course, I agree with the latter.

Click on the title above and email me to let me know what you think (or simply comment on this blog - no naughty words however).

May you stand for what works and receive great, great benefits!

Keith

THE TIMER TOOL - LITTLE THINGS OUT OF THE WAY!

2009-07-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

Setting a timer, pretty simple, but hugely effective for procrastinators, people in a hurry, and/or people needing to "calm down" and/or "feel better". (Click on the title above to link into the full explanation and use.)

I, myself, will catch "me" just going and going, with no break, as I want to get things done quickly. Alot of the time I am generating all of these ideas and multitasking, like a mad scientist - and I need to grab some "settling" time.

Not good!

So I use this method (see the source in the article) to do a 1 minute meditation or a 5 minute nap.

I know I can spare a minute.

And I know that if I don't set a timer, I won't even last a minute.

I also know that I'll pass by things that are a mess or need to be picked up, so I use the two minute rule. I set a timer for two minutes and stop at the end. Lots fewer piles. Things look better, I feel better.

I love the 1 minute "mood setter" where I set a tone for what I am about to do (or for the day) - I just feel so much better. It's not really what one is doing or one's circumstances that affect one's happiness, it is how one sets oneself up to see it and to feel good about it or despite it.

The "Timer Tool" is one of the top recommendations, though simple, for your Life ToolKit.

Just click on the title above - if you've got a minute.

Here's to greater piece of mind and fewer messes!

Keith

THE TRUTHS IN LIFE

2009-07-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

Continued...

Tara Brack in Radical Acceptance

The Truths in life are actually:

I am worthy simply because I do exist.[1]

There are endless creativity and possibilities that exist in living this life!

There is simply no truth (we made it all up) in the three concepts that have us suffering: good/bad, right/wrong and my survival is threatened as I am not powerful enough.
I am powerful, period.

I am simply he/she who experiences (and there is no right/wrong, good/bad).

We will cease to exist only one time. The others are all false and needless alarms.

The only question is: How high shall I go?

[1] If a baby is worthy when the baby can only cry, take in food and liquids and excrete same, then how can we after becoming much more useful and functional be any less worthy?

Click on title to link to Acceptance section.

NO NEED FOR UNHAPPINESS ANYMORE

2009-07-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

It is remarkable when one sees it - that we, not realities, create our own unhappiness. AND we create it from not accepting reality and expecting it to be so different.

Tara Brach, in her book Radical Acceptance (one of the top must read books for my old guru), says (see my summary in the Acceptance section of The Site, click on title):

Almost all threats are not real and are strictly fabricated as a childish way of “protecting” oneself from the concept of “non-survival,” there is nothing left to not accept.

The false beliefs that cause us not to accept (and cause us suffering) are:

- We are defective, unworthy, incomplete, basically flawed, something is fundamentally wrong with us.

- Something bad is going to happen.

- We must avoid disapproval.

We adapt to our false beliefs by spending our time, energies, and lives on:

1. Trying to manage the pain, trying to soothe ourselves
2. Avoiding the pain
3. Trying to stave it off by replaying worries and plans
4. Addictions (substances, people, romance, stimulation) that numb us out
5. Hiding who we are and operating in fear of being discovered.
The irony here is that we don’t know who we are and we assume we are
everything around us. We are pure awareness and love.

Ironic - we created the pain - and then we try to manage it. There are huge amounts of time and energy saved when we stop this game!

Then the only question is "How high shall I go?" [Feeling free, effortlessly...]

CREATING THE BIGGEST "NET" FEEL GOOD

2009-07-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

(Click on the title of this blog piece to go to "Feeling Good Vs. Feeling Bad - Creating The Biggest 'Net' Feel Good" to read more in-depth and to link to items of further interest.)

This is what all life is about - the enduring "feel good" of life.

All we need to do is:

1. Find out what induces each type of feeling
2. Follow the "doable" actions that create feel goods and/or diminish feel bads, rather than
"try" positive thinking or some intangible that is hard to get your arms around.

THE FINAL FORMULA

FEELING GOODS MINUS FEELING BADS = NET FEEL GOODS

The ingredients:

Sending calming signals to the lizard brain
Breathing, relaxation, soothing/calming statements
Eliminating untrue, dysfunctional beliefs; replacing them (Duh!)
No longer expecting happiness to come from outcomes or circumstances or
people.
Learning and accepting reality, not resisting it
Using "what works" as the only remaining criterion in life (no "right/wrong/blame", "not
good enough", or "there is lots of danger" dysfunctional beliefs)
Focused processes
Meditation - To rewire the brain long term
Soothing, nurturing actions
Keeping oneself in a high state of resourcefulness
Staying in perspective, using the reasoning brain for decisions
Learning intensely about life, to increase one's appreciation of life

Is it worth doing the above? (Duh!)

May you know the great happiness that is the true potential in this life.

The BuddhaKahuna
His Holey Irreverend
The Temple Of The Ultimate Truth
"When it comes to wisdom, he is really full of it."

NOT AS HAPPY AS YOU COULD BE? TRY THIS.

2009-07-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

If we are not as happy as we could be, do we just let it be, as if it were permanent?

Or as if it was too much effort compared to the result?

I would say the "result" is life itself - which I would rather consider worth everything!

We settle for too little. But Robert Mack didn't.

Suffering from depression, he wrote about depression: "It was something that was logically sound and experientially proven. Everything either was bad now or would be bad soon, would forever be bad on all occasions and in all places, and there was little, if anything, I could do about any of it. That is precisely what I thought..."

Considering suicide or "fixing" himself: "And so, left with the only real, actionable alternative I could find, I proceeded to throw myself passionately into self-help books, studies on cognitive therapy, psychocybernetics, and so on..." He had decided to "make happiness my career."

He succeeded and wrote an excellent book that is very readable on...guess what! The title is "Happiness From The Inside Out, The Art And Science Of Fulfillment".

I recommend that you read it and learn the realities of life, belief, and how we can see life - and begin to be more of a master at creating the life you could really have.

The BuddhaKahuna