Thoughts Cause Emotions, Not Events - Do you completely "get" it?

I recommend that you read and get clear on the principles and understanding involved in ABCDEF ("Rational Analysis"),  If you do not accept these, you cannot move along very effectively in life.
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If a person is thinking incorrectly about what causes what, then a person cannot or will not manage life effectively.

Always, if we want to create a desired result, we have to identify and implement something that causes the desired result. (This is simple cause-effect, which you MUST understand and accept if you are to be effective in life.)

If we think desired results happen magically, then we are out of control - and a little too far along the scale toward insanity, too far from high sanity.

People who do not do well in life are the victims of "out there" (circumstances and other people determine  how I feel, often languaged in the passive form of "make me feel").

People who do well in life see that circumstances and other people are just neutral, objective happenings, not causing any emotions directly.  They know that only what they add to that neutrality is what makes them feel emotion.   They know that it is them causing the emotion, not the outside stuff.  (They also see their responsibility in creating, and unraveling, complex behaviors and patterns that seem to have the power over us.)

They live "at cause" over their life.  They know that if there is an effect that is not desired that they created it (caused it) - and that they just need to not continue that cause and to decide and then do instead what causes the desired result.

Unless you are convinced of this with regard to the fact that your beliefs/thoughts determine your emotions (and actions), you will not be working on the correct cause and thus will not achieve the results you want in life. 

And those who do well in life make sure that they complete all that is needed to cause what is important in life.  They do not stop until they achieve the result.  They do not "try".  They do not say "well, I was too busy".  They just do it. 

If you want to be successful, you must use Critical Thinking, aka Rational Thinking, which you can practice and use in The Rational Analysis (truth telling and falsity challenging) form, which you'd link to from the ABCDEF  page.  Successful people will follow the protocol of doing it 4 times a day until they notice one day that they feel much better about life and are 'thinking straight'.

Do you understand this?  Will you live your life according to this?

I hope you will not stop until you've achieved true happiness (and that you enjoy the many benefits along the way as you learn and grow).

Keith

Although there are a number of good sources of how to understand and apply these principles and practices, I single out to recommend you to Help Yourself To Happiness, Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr., M.D..

FROM DEPRESSION TO HAPPINESS - IT'S BEEN DONE!

B -

You seemed to be a bit "non-believing" when I said I was totally confident that you could turn around your thinking that has created your downward spirals for years and years. Yes, you have practiced and become an expert at it, but the same mechanism can be used to reverse it.

The solution is definite and proven.

Daniel Amen, M.D. spoke on PBS, reviewing many of the observations from his book "Magnifient Mind At Any Age," where he utilizes his brain scanning expertise (a friend of mine had this done and benefitted greatly) and counseling experience over many years. He lays out many useful strategies and has found that if you apply them you will achieve life-enhancing results.
He also mentioned the case of Byron Katie, successful author and wise sage, where she had suffered from severe depression for many years. She turned it around when she "suddenly discovered" that she no longer felt depressed when she began to question (and no longer passively believe) what her mind said to her. She asked 4 questions roughly paraphrased here, whenever a "negative" or stressful thought popped into her consciousness. All the thoughts that make you feel bad are actually beliefs, which you can question and redo, but this time with your higher brain, as an adult:

1. Is it true? (Even if you answer yes, do the next test question.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be, how would you feel, without that thought.

Then you take the thought and turn it around to the opposite and see if that would work better for you. And the next step is simply to practice by saying and using that new belief.

When she addressed each of the thoughts and stopped being "victim" to the prattlings of the primitive mind, she found that she was not at all depressed. Her transformation is reflected now in the mission she has in her life - and she is a true inspiration to the many who follow her work.

It is worthwhile becoming an expert in this fairly simple process - after all, we want to waste as little time as possible dwelling in the falsehoods of damaging beliefs.

Will you accept that challenge?

I look forward with great excitement at seeing the great progress you will make in the next six months through the consistent practice of what we are working on together.

Keith


Use the search engine on the website (TheLifeManagementAlliance) to find an approach based on similar thinking. Enter "rational analysis".

I would definitely read and practice what Dr. Amen recommends in his book!!!!

Her original book is "Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life."