Showing posts with label behaviors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behaviors. Show all posts

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Have you "hired' an idiot brain to run your life?

(In email, click on the post title in order to read the entire post.) 

How long should you tolerate "reactivity" from your emotions?  Should you "believe" your primitive brain's "urgings"? 

I suggest that that you no longer tolerate these for even one second. 

If you follow what is in this linked piece, I guarantee your life will change dramatically.

And you'll find that the initial surge is so very simple and easy to do!

Have you "hired" an idiot brain to run your life?  (And should you train your other brain...)


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Friday, May 13, 2016

You cannot escape "being human"...especially when out of "The Zone"

(If you get this by email, click on the title of the post to read the whole post.)

It is very human to expect ourselves to be able to rise above being human, where we are without foible and never doing undesired behaviors.  However, even the most enlightened of us still has an operating lower, primitive mind that is occasionally not doing well by us and/or is caught up in "inappropriate" impulses and behaviors.

We cannot escape the reality that "Life is a package deal."  Though a great package overall, it has its limitations and its "not so goods".

The higher brain is incredibly great - when we are in it.  The body is great, except when it is dysfunctioning.  Emotions are great, except when they are "negative" due to some uncorrected belief.

We are left with the task, if we want to live a great life, of assuring that we use the package well, such that we get what we want in life


LIMITED RESOURCES REQUIRE ALLOCATION

But one of the great things about our body is that it allocates its limited resources well in order that it can assure (or make better) our survival.  This is built into us as a benefit from having evolved.

To best harvest our lives, we need to co-operate with that feature.

When we are tired or out of whack physically or emotionally, our body shuts down other functions so that it can get busy repairing the survival-threatening (to varying degrees) dysfunctions and malfunctioning.  The body/mind is committed to restoring functioning to a satisfactory level - the process is called homeostasis.  (Even "threatening" to change its established way of thinking can represent a threat, as the mind feels more secure if it is more certain of having an established neural pattern to operate from, and it is insecure when there is none or one is taken away from it and not replaced solidly!)

The further out we are from well-functioning, the more desperate the body-mind gets and the more damage that can be done to the other parts of our body that were robbed of the necessary resources for them to function well.

A simple example is when we get anxious and the body-mind must devote resources to fixing the supposed threat.  The fight/flight (fear) response causes us to tense to go into action and engage all the parts of us that are necessary for fighting or running, such as are large muscles, but to do that it must shut down the use of our resources by parts that are not needed in the short term, such as:  the higher brain, the digestive system, the immune system, and other parts not needed to save our rear ends.

The problem lies not in the reallocation for a short period of time but in having to do it for such a long period that it does damage to the other parts that are not functioning and which are caused to go into various levels of dysfunction, all the way over to malfunctions that can be damaging.

It is up to us, via engaging our higher brain, to assure that we are not allowing malfunction to continue nor to do its harm.


THE SUPER-PRINCIPLE

A super-law or super-principle, whatever you want to call it, of life is that if you want a great life, you must assure that you stay in balance in all parts of your body and mind so that they are properly functioning.  Now, the body-mind seeks this balance, called Homeostasis, automatically in each area, but it is not smart enough to handle the abnormalities caused by the modern world, as it has not hardly evolved or changed from the level it evolved to that was needed 10,000 years ago. (The point here is that the behaviors and solutions that were evolved to function well 10,000 years ago are not suitable for today, so many of them need to be intervened in and corrected by, of course, our higher thinking brain.)

The undapted mind I am talking about here is the primitive mind, which is metaphorically like Lennie, the mentally handicapped brother in Of Mice And Men.  But fortunately we have a higher mind, which, if used deliberately, can take over to create the solutions that work.  

Unfortunately, when our primitive mind has taken over, when we are in fight/flight mode when it experiences a threat (such as being in anxiety), we are relatively powerless, even to the point of being ashamed that we are being so powerless.


THE ONLY WAY OUT

The only way out is to use the higher brain to figure out tricks, give instructions to the lower brain, use tools that are usable by the lower brain, train the lower brain in simple stuff - all to the point where the primitive mind and a few trained actions can pull ourselves out of the dysfunctional state so that we can restore the ability to use the higher brain - to where we can function well in body and mind (and emotions).  (This point is made in Managing The Elephant.)

We are often ashamed of our behaviors, and want to hide, in guilt, this from other human beings.  We want to be above being human and then we make it wrong when we are "only human" and do rather low level behaviors or fall prey to "bad" impulses and "weaknesses".

The reality, however, is that no matter how enlightened we get, we still are hooked up with the body and the primitive mind that take over when they "believe" they need to, to protect us from harm (or not filling our procreative need).

But when we learn and accept reality (read the Reality Reading Sequence), we don't see those "misbehaviors" as being "faults" but just as being normal functions of the body/mind.

Accepting reality is the first step, as it allows ourselves to not create an additional alarm and hyperreactivity level.

Acceptance is well and good, but not sufficient, as we still want to eliminate the malfunctioning as much as we can, because it generally harms us or takes away from us something of benefit.  

An example of what to do, by recruiting our higher brain and its ability to learn and reason, lies in this "bad habit" that was interfering with life:  The Struggle With 'Comfort'/'Escape'Vs. Self-Control: The Spider Solitaire Story.  It is about "soft addiction" of behaviors and the escapes or "reliefs" that we think, in our primitive minds, that we need and then, from our primitive minds, the not so great strategies it employs.

Read the above "story" and the solution, but note that we always will be human (and doing "what we would not like to do") and that we cannot eliminate it and therefore are left with the fact that we must deal with it and manage it.  And we can only do that if we engage our higher brains to solve any problem (of doing what is short of what is desired and effective).

So, it is best to "accept" the reality of being human AND to be sure to engage our higher brains to solve the dilemmas and problems we get into.  And in order to do that and to have the best life that you run your life by the super-principle of assuring you are in The Zone or are returning to it as soon as possible!!!!

Do those fully and you will create the foundation for living an incredibly great life!!!!!

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And, note, please, that you will "lose the battle" occasionally, so you must simply get up, brush yourself off, and create a better strategy for success.

Note, also, that when you battle reality, you will lose...every time.  So, please make sure that you learn what reality is! (And what it isn't!  Read The Believing Brain summary page and use it to better run your life!!!)

Sunday, February 14, 2016

The key to "solving life's problems" is not in "correcting" the mistakes...

(If you received this via email, click on the title of the post to see the whole post.)

"A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them." — John C. Maxwell

This is, of course, the secret to Living Life As A Champion.  

But many people miss the point by assuming this "correcting" has to do with the mechanical or physical processes/systems and not thinking that one of the most powerful, life-affecting processes/systems is being ignored.  

The most determinate system in our lives is our belief/emotional system for it determines our behavior and also, ultimately, our level of happiness.  

If we don't fix it, then we will be left with primitive, unexamined beliefs that lead to feeling fear (where there is nothing to fear) needlessly and lead to behaviors that are counterproductive for our lives.  We look at the behaviors (which are akin to "symptoms") and we fail to fix the causers of the behaviors, so we continue to get the undesired behaviors over and over and over and, of course, the undesired results over and over and over.

The most effective thing any human being can do is to correct those causes, and not ignore them or be oblivious to them.  (Of course, we will unavoidably "feel" the effects, so some people might say that they are not oblivious to their feelings, of course, but the point here is that they are oblivious to how the system works and how they can change what precedes and causes those bad feelings and bad results.)

Will you choose, in the current challenge, to fix the process that causes you the emotional angst and resistance, to do more than address the mechanical systems and choose to fix the bigger causers?  

Will you?

Let's discuss this, shall we?

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I like this observation from the site of Marc And Angel:

"6.  If you want things to change now, you need to start by changing yourself. – Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.  Do you know people whose lives are unnecessarily chaotic and stressful?  And isn’t their situation largely because they feel chaotic inside?  Yes, it is.  We like to think that changing our external circumstances will change us.  But we have it backwards – we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will begin to change."  

This sounds simple but it is profoundly true!