3 Steps For Alleviating Suffering And Overcoming Your Struggles

(In email, click on the post title in order to read the entire post.) 

The writer of this piece is excellent as a resource, plus this is a piece you should study and heed.  This is a note that is a a full copy of his post, but with my annotations and comments added:
3 Steps For Alleviating Suffering.

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How "systems" will totally change your life, emotions, and results!

Quotes from Sam Carpenter's The System Mindset book (buy and/or use free download):

To follow up on the post a few days ago (last week), I put these quotes together to make certain points that he can make far better than I could - and you've got to get the book and fully harvest it!!!

Once you grasp this key concept of reality and how things work in life, your life will be, literally, transformed...and by very doable actions


WHAT MATTERS

"Your personal attribute will not deliver you what you want in your life.  They can help, of course, but they won't be directly responsible for your success. What matters is the machinery you create and maintain - and that machinery doesn't give a whit about your personal qualities." (!!!) [Your IQ is not a determinant of your success!]


WHAT IS SO NOW

"Too many people spend their time in the Result part of the Results formula, frittering away time and energy trying to repair the random bad consequences of their unseen and therefore unmanaged systems." (!!!!)

"Yes, every "thing" does happen for a reason, but the reason for each of those things is the linear system that preceded and then produced it."  (!!!)


THE RESULTS

[My remark:  Because you will have your systems operating so well, the level of problems will be close to nil, and you'll no longer have to play "whac-a-mole" in life or have to keep putting out fires.  You will save an enormous amount of time that you can now devote to what is most valuable to you in life!]

"Your life will lift up those around you.  Why? Because by your example - and by the sheer value you will cause - you'll be opening up lines of life control for them, too."

"Your level of personal confidence will skyrocket..."

"Your mounting personal potency will be a consequence of your new, crystal-clear understanding of how the machinery of life works."


ABOUT LIFE

"You can take control of your life if you view the world as it really is." [This fits with The Reality Reading Sequence on the site.]

"Existence is not an endless stream of erratic occurrence." [Unless you leave it that way!}


IT'S JUST MECHANICS

"There is nothing mysterious here, nothing esoteric.  There's no cluttered and abstract theory.  It's just simple, real-world mechanics."  [On the site: Super-Principle: It's All Completely Mechanical - Know This To Make Life Easier And To Be Much More Effective.)


WHAT YOU MUST DO

"What if, one by one, you isolated the various critical systems of your life and then spent significant time improving the efficiency of each? And, at the same time, what if you isolated the systems in your life that are holding you back and then consciously removed them?"

"If you put consistent effort  into system improvement, you will reach your goal of living the exact life you want."

"And so it makes sense for you to immerse yourself in performing system improvements, to spend a lot of time doing it. "  (See Sam's story of how system changed his life from 80 hours a week on the business to 2 hours a week in, on his site the Synopsis page.   Watch the free videos in Work The System page on my site.).

"Since its' incontestable that every future result in your life will be preceded by a linear process that executes over time, you must spend focused, deliberate effort - in this moment - managing those processes."


TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS

"So, to achieve success, stop trying to rearrange the bad results of unseen and therefore unmanaged systems.  That's fire-killing.  Instead, see and then manage your machinery so it produces the result your desire.   There's nothing airy-fairy here.  It's all mechanical..."
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So, I absolutely recommend that you read the book AND HARVEST IT FULLY!!!!

Where do we draw the line: Selflessness, self sacrifice, self care?

(Click on the title of the article to go to the full blog posting.  If you receive this email notice, it only includes a few lines to give you the basic idea...)

In the bid to be worthy and "good", we often seek to become selfless and to contribute massively.  Yet we often set ourselves up for unhappiness and a set up that does not truly deliver the best value to ourselves AND also not to others.

Some of this is from "playing small" at life, because of having to seek approval and be seen as good.

And much of it is from the loss of power of not being fully charged up and from not being fully happy and powerfully self-determined.

It saddens me to see that.

I looked into where and how people get such extremely debilitating ideas.

And this is what I think...so far. Does God Want Us To Self-Sacrifice To The Point Of Suffering Or Doing Harm To Ourselves?   (No, it isn't for religious people; but I start from such sources as the origin of the idea and the morality wrappings and the guilt and misunderstandings we create about it.)

Are there other viewpoints and facts that indicate otherwise?   Let me know if that is so.

Towards your thinking fully about your life and making those decisions that fully empower yourself,

Keith

I would hope that you would do the really quick signup for email notification of newly written materials and also of new recommendations of resources that I think would be of value to you.

Perfectly Practice Applying The Psychological Knowledge You Have

We all "learn' little tidbits about life, but we do not integrate and consolidate them into our lives.

The secret to progress in life is to notice what does not work and determine what does and then consolidate that into one's life, essentially building a higher level floor from which to operate. 

Few people do this, but those who do relatively soon pass up those who are smarter than them.

You'll know if you practice irrational thinking because you will see the effect in your life: your life won't work nearly as well as you'd like AND you won't feel good about life and what is going on - and you'll blame it on conditions or circumstances at the time.

When one engages in Authentic Learning, one takes the knowledge from a learning (data transferring) situation or from making  a mistake and then completes it and installs it so it is useful.  Knowledge by itself is not power - it is only 'potential power'.  When people say "I already know that" but they don't have appropriately good results, we know that they are engaged in Insufficient Knowing. 

Since life is based on the decisions one makes in life and the conversations one has with oneself, one should become highly excellent at the prime tool for doing that:  Rational Thinking (using "Critical Thinking" skills).   And we know from the studies of genius that it takes hours of practice and paying attention to what needs to be corrected.

Maxie Maultsby, Jr., M.D. (psychiatrist), hit the nail on the head when he strongly suggested that individuals use the Rational Analysis form and process 4 times a day for at least a month plus "practicing" in your mind (called 'Rational Emotive Imagery') until you're quite good at it.

If you do this, you'll be fine tuning and better installing your tidbits of knowledge and, most importantly, you'll develop the primary skill you need to live an effective and happy life - regardless of circumstances, being happy no matter what.     

I highly, absolutely recommend you do this practical implementation, as reading randomly even on this site will not "do it" for you. 

Within one month you'll be thinking more clearly and no longer engaging in the 'untruth' or indulging the thought processes that make you unhappy or less powerful in life.

I think this is vital for all living human beings.  Please do it!

Keith

 As recommended in the write-ups, consider doing the whole process completely yourself and then taking it to a counselor for additional refinement and learning.

A Quick Pick Me Up - To Stop Entertaining Negative Thoughts -

Although you should follow the program to re-do the nonsense thoughts, it is also beneficial to just recognize a nonsense, nonhelpful thought and then refuse to entertain it. Every thought entertained actually creates a physical strengthening of the rewiring in your brain - so it is more likely to come up again - aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh! (See How The Mind Works - and understand it so that you do the right moves and avoid the wrong moves!)

To stop the undesirable thought, we need to do something that is the opposite of it and excludes it. What works every time for me to overcome my primitive brain in its repeated crappola is to dance to Club/Dance music on the free (for 40 hours a month) internet radio: go to Pandora Internet Radio (it's great!).

This is all part of the section Creating "Up" , for the short term or long term.

Happy dancing!

Keith

ELIMINATE PSYCHOLOGICAL "PROBLEMS" VIA PHILOSOPHY

If we had a sound philosophy, we wouldn't spend time feeling psychologically bad about whether we were "good enough" or whether life is "safe" enough.

Basically, with a sound philosophical understanding on how life works, we would not create unhappiness. We would not "fall short" nor set ourselves up to do that.

Philosophy is a set of viewpoints from which life can be seen realistically. If we resist reality, we then suffer, as the Buddhists pointed out.

Philosophy could also be said to be a "set of beliefs". We deal with beliefs in psychology and we identify dysfunctional beliefs as the cause of all problems in psychology - and rightly so!

So if we had correct beliefs about the world, life, and who we are, then we would not suffer in the first place.

So, I think learning philosophy (the practical parts) could be incredibly useful - and eliminate psychological problems!!!!

If we accept reality, then we accept undesired outcomes. If we accept undesired outcomes and take full responsibility for our happiness, then we eliminate a major source of fear and can become Fearless (see that section!).

If self-worth and being "good enough" were properly understood, then we could get rid of the misery and just apply our efforts toward maximizing our "Feeling Good".

Simply click on this article's title to link to the Life Philosophy section and click on the topics on the right side - get a better perspective and understanding of life and you'll eliminate alot of the BS (belief systems) that is harming your psyche - and you'll be free just to enjoy life!

Read those, and then put together an incredibly empowering Life Philosophy that will result in enduring happiness!

Bon voyage!

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE GIVEN IN LIFE. WILL YOU ACCEPT THE WHOLE DEAL?

Once you move to a location, you “get” to have the weather. Some rain, some storms, some very cold days, some very hot, some in between. Will you be damning the weather a lot of the days or will you be looking at the whole year and saying that it all works out on average?

And, if you do damn the weather, what do you think you’ll get out of it?

Looking at it logically, with reasoning, if you damn the weather, you will be irritating yourself and sending bad chemicals out into your body. (You’ll be using a function used in caveman days that required action, which would then burn off the bad chemicals, essentially, so that you didn’t have long term damage. But you’ll leave the damage in this case.)

Other than deciding to move elsewhere, you simply “get” to accept what is there. No damning will change the weather. You simply adapt, and maybe even appreciate what you do have.

Now what we were actually talking about is that you get a life which on average has some pretty good stuff in it with some storms and some limitations. Overall it is good.

Should you then damn things that come up that you don’t like? Should you wish they weren’t so? Should you wish that you could be the smartest, best looking, sexiest, rich person you would like to be or should you simply accept that the basics of life are damned good and the only thing that will make you unhappy in the long run is yourself damning what happens, damning the imperfection of life?

Well, duh!

The answer is obvious. But then why do we complain, bitch, worry excessively, stress ourselves – all objecting to not having it our way (like a child) or to not having things work out better for us. Without the negative evaluations, we get x number of sunny days that we wouldn’t have had otherwise. And we lose nothing in the other days – UNLESS we stress ourselves about it instead of adapting. Indeed, many people conclude that life isn’t so good on average, but amazingly enough that is only because they have inserted so much unnecessary suffering into the balance! Without the suffering added, life itself is good – very good, even wonderful!

The other metaphor I like is the one about the ocean. To fill in the metaphor, we are given this vast amount of water, upon which there are waves on the surface, which can sometimes seem treacherous to us, but in fact the vast, by far, greater part is calm and deep water underneath. Life for many is like focusing on the waves and then feeling bad about them.

And, so we find ourselves wanting to play in the surf because the other parts are boring. We get bashed by a wave and we say “ouch” and “oh, well, that’s what happens with waves” – but we don’t need to add suffering (the “ain’t it awful” of life) to it.

The latter would be pretty stupid, hey? You do see that, don’t you?

If you do see that and accept it, then you are “enlightened.” You’re just playing in the surf, getting bashed once in a while – a big “so what?!”.

Then you notice your friend standing in the waves, damning them as he gets pummeled. But, as an “enlightened” person, you simply attempt to get as many good rides on your surfboard as you can, maybe dinging up your surfboard once in a while, but, as an “enlightened” person would say, “So what? That’s just part of life? Life is good overall!”[1]

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Interestingly enough, if you accept the logic and truth of this, you will also see that there is no suffering to be added to bad events or physical pains and then you’ll begin to see (perhaps with some help of The Site and its resources) that there is never anything to worry about. See the piece on my site, under Psychology/Emotion Management/SufferingStruggle:

My Enlightenment Experience Being Sick In India, Gratitude, and Non-Suffering - A
profound, though simple, experience that will stay with me forever, where I didn't
add any pain or suffering because of...

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Best of luck in your quest to eliminate all suffering and to fully experience true happiness!

[1] This is also known as a “coping statement”, where you talk to yourself in a way that better makes you able to cope with or accept what is happening without getting upset about it. Statements like “this too shall pass” are helpful and a form of this. See http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/, Psychology, Self-Talk, My Utility "Coping" Thoughts - These are thoughts that generalize about life which are brought into mind readily and frequently when things happen. They can be disempowering (identify yours) or empowering. Examples are provided to choose from or jump off of.

WHAT WE SUFFER ABOUT

I've just posted "What We Suffer About" (to link click on this blog piece's title), under "Buddhism, The Re-Write To Achieve Easy Application", which is under Philosophy, Philosophical Disciplines.

Of course, I've restated these in a manner I think are more understandable.

I think it helps us in getting rid of fears of death, old age, bereavement, changes - all those things we waste life units on simply because we don't see or accept "reality". (See The Four Noble Truths - Rewritten - which discuss the cause of unnecessary suffering.)

Let me know what you think about (and the other recently posted related pieces).

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

STOPPING ALL SUFFERING AND FEARS

OK! The title is a slight exaggeration. It's actually factually about stopping virtually all suffering and fears (80-90+%).

It seems, on the surface, not to be possible. And that is a bit of the way I felt (actually the right word is "thought"; actually "believed" is more accurate) about it when I first went to the Fearless class at the Option Institute (http://www.option.org/ ). As is the case with many in-depth (beyond dilettantism and dabbling) learning, I found it is entirely doable! It seems incredible and like a bunch of hype, but it is provable, my friend.

This blog isn't the right format for a complete discussion, so you might want to start with the piece, referred to under a different title in the last blog, "The Perspective On Beliefs And Thoughts", under the section called "Beliefs and Thoughts, How To Deal With Bullbleep".

To link into it, click on the title of this blog piece, and then read it, going back and linking into all the pieces that it ties into.

Using the principle of Completion (see the Perspective piece), you'll find you can stop the repeating and repeating and repeating of the same old useless, but upsetting, thoughts - by blowing the foundation out totally, without even having to struggle with alot of detail!

Try it, you might life it! (Or, if you're fearless, you might refer a friend who could use it...)

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

BELIEFS, FEARS, AND SUFFERING

Sent to my best buddy, who knows how important this is to me:

"Yikes! Major alert! Tragedy!

I ran out of coffee creamer! How could I be so foolish?* And now I am "deprived" and in suffering and pain! Reality sucks!

...but a moment of clarity**...I used my store of Stevia...life is restored...I am now saved!..life is good again..."

Yes, a bit silly, but this parody is so true in real life.

Read the new Dialogue About Beliefs, Foolishness And What To Do About It (click on the title above to link to it.).

The Buddhakahuna
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com




*And I can't bear the thought that this is the way my future life will be. It will be so desolate, barren, without pleasure. Without this necessity of life!
**Accidents do happen...