Partially incapacitated - And life is still wonderful!

I talk to my friend and she is often bringing up the reasons why she is held back from living her life happily.

By doing that she is perpetuating the routine that is guaranteed to make oneself unhappy. 

She fails to "see" what is "there", present in a human being's life - not the current "stuff" but the blessings of being human, living way above subsistence, and all of what she has accumulated over the years in terms of permanent knowledge and awareness.   She spends her life focusing on and bemoaning what "isn't there" - she isn't as good as the best, not living up to her parents' expectations, is partially incapacitated, etc. and etc.  

I wrote a few years back for an angry, down in the dumps lady (see The Disempowered Empowerer linked from the Case Studies main page) a piece that addressed focusing on what you have rather than what you don't have (see Loss page, link to What I Have Compared To So-Called Losses).  This is perhaps the greatest secret to happiness and the opposite is the greatest cause of unhappiness.  Be sure to read it and follow the plan in it.

Although I am sympathetic whenever she feels emotional "pain" or physical exhaustion, I notice that most of it is caused by her and/or a residual from years of making herself stressed.  I do not judge her for that, but I do know that it is not serving her well. 

She could, instead, say "well, yes I do have these conditions, some of which can be changed and maybe some of which cannot, but now I just acknowledge them and get on with my life."  She seems to have resisted this so far, insisting on the "conditions" of her life being the problem.  Read Partially Incapacitated - 60% Of Wonderful Is Wonderful!

May you "see" all that is there in life.  We are so incredibly fortunate.

Keith

In case you wondered, here is a list of some of her legitimate conditions which she will use as rationalizations:   (See How To Create Unhappiness, which she has done well but should start doing the opposite of.)

1.  Anybody would feel bad having been brought up by my parents.
2.  I am stuck with Social Anxiety panic attacks that ruin my life and keep me lonely too.
3.  My energy is so low from hypoglycemia.
4.  I'm just not as good as those doctors and other accomplished people.

At the very least, she would be less unhappy if she merely stopped telling the story over and over and over and over and over...