Like EVERYTHING in life, one is not "bad" as a result of not living life well. Instead, one is simply using a "bad" strategy, based on "bad", faulty information that doesn't work to produce the desired results.
I'm just using "bad" to mean ineffective, as it is "bad" or sad or whatever to not get the results we desire.
It is vitally important if one is to be truly happy that one fully understands and completely "buys into" the key, essential understanding to have in life: that there is No Fault. There is only "not yet knowing", if we understand the reality of the world and that It's ALL mechanical!
(I repeat, and emphasize: it is ALL mechanical. It is completely mechanical and nothing else. ... it is all mechanical and not a bit of "mysterious" causes ... life is ALL mechanical.)
Poor self control is simply a result of having a very poor (mechanical) strategy that does not work! (Read Self Control.)
But the irony here is that we need a little self control in order to work on getting a better strategy for creating self control!
How do we stop the ineffectiveness loop here that is self determinate, circling in unto itself making us incapable of getting out of the loop? (An example: "I do not have enough self-control to be able to learn about my beliefs that cause me to have poor self control." This results in a self-generating circular "trap" that one cannot get out of.)
The only way, as with all traps, is to come upon some one thing that can cause a break (an "intervention" I call it) in the self-repeating cycle.
So, that means the person without self control will have to isolate those few times when he is alert and able to focus (almost no one has none of this) and use the time to learn self control. But, I observe, that almost no one ever does this sufficiently to get the right result. The few who do "get better" follow a complete course that teaches them about self control and how to install it. However, a lot of people fall by the wayside, losing interest after the initial "inspiration" to finally solve this problem. (And so goes the very human path to nowhere...)
The best way that I've ever discovered is to do complete immersion in the subject until sufficient progress is made in learning it, along with a program or plan on exactly what the follow up is to be. Without those two criteria of sufficient learning completion and complete followup, the likelihood of success is not very good. (What does "sufficient" mean? This is an essential to learn and guide one's life by. See The Principle Of Sufficiency.)
To meet those two criteria, since we all tend to not do it well on our own, it is best to
1. Go "on retreat", where one focuses on this one thing and where one is isolated from distractions.
2. Have a course director and helpers that provide the direction and "control" over what you do.
3. Use a set program that has been polished and developed over time to the point of excellence.
4. Have as good an expert teacher(s) as possible, for that is what raises the program to excellence and higher effectiveness.
If you value your time but also value much more "living your life at a higher level", I highly recommend that you spend your money taking these programs that are on-site and meet the criteria above. Yes, they are more expensive, but we are interested in buying the best value for our money AND our time AND our life! (Do not be "penny wise" and "pound foolish". If you doubt this, consult with the wisest person you know, who has studied this in depth.)
If you can get all the criteria for "best" above, that is the ultimate. If, for whatever reason, you can't get them all, at least do as many as possible. But, if you start such a program, you MUST, if you are sanely pursuing this, assure that you have set up enough time AND scheduled it for you to go to full completion so that it is installed and working in your life and benefitting you - please, do not make the biggest mistake most people make in life: that of stopping short (actually the worst is never starting).
[See, and read the links, until you "get it" about learning: Best Ways To Learn.]
Oh, and the point of all of this is that it is NECESSARY to master self control if one is to have a good or great life. It is not a matter of your being good or bad as a person, but a matter of your very life, a matter of your very happiness. Without it, you will have the killer of happiness: a lack of A Sense Of Control over life and, corresponding, more proneness toward slipping into being a victim - and that will ruin your life, for victims do not get what they want in life!!!
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Note that those who are most successful in life learn at a high level those skills and that knowledge that is in the most important factors that lead to success. They don't do it "later". They do it ASAP and drive it to the point where one can be effective in each thing learned. They know that it is pointless to not learn to the point of effectiveness in life - but the unsuccessful keep on doing the inadequate learning, if they learn at all, and not putting the elementary "2 and 2" together to see that what they are doing (or not doing enough of) is not working!!!! Duh!!!
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