"Just waiting around to 'pass on'...."

(In an email, click on the title of this post to read the entire post...)

This was written because a friend made the above statement.  It touched my heart with sadness for the moment, but also reminded me of the value of life.  I hope that person reads this, as well as those who changed the person’s situation - deeper thought and planning are needed here…

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THE VIEW(ING) POINTS

Later on in life, we begin to think more about the end of life.  Some view it with alarm... actually most probably do.

Yes, it will happen, but once one accepts that then there is only "well, what the heck do I do with life while I'm living it?"

Along the way, one might notice that one is stuck in "living for the future" (a rather ironic purpose, as it places one into a state of "suspended animation", where one somehow is not "living for the now").  "Gee, if there is no future, what shall I strive for and/or hope for?"

Yet, we've all heard "be in the now", "the power of now", "be fully present".  This is coupled with "love yourself", which is dismissed as "not being meaningful, because only being loved by others is all that matters" (bull!!!).  

WHAT WILL PRODUCE THE VERY BEST?

But if one takes life seriously (as if it is really, really valuable…), one should "study" and "grok" (deeply "get it" about something) both of those, until it is fully built into one's life.  It is absurd to stop short, sticking with the trivial or trivializing "the now" and "being the source of love rather than just the hoped-for object of it”.  One should settle for no less than the full implementation of those two vital elements into one's life.  

In all of life, not just near the end, one should fill fully one's time with enriching experiences (the “stuff of life”), where we select from our list of "highest value activities" in life (as is suggested in my Amazon book "Life Value Productivity") and stop "filling time" with random "stuff".  

THE DESTABILIZING SHIFT…

One of the biggest changes that occurs that is destabilizing and most often upsetting is a "shift" in life, where one moves to a place closer to one's children (often becoming more dependent on them) and/or a place for older people (perhaps an assisted living facility).  

The big loss is the regularity and time-filling activities and friendships one had before moving away.  (I believe we should be cautious about moving away...and delay it as long as is possible.  The initial loneliness can feel quite alarming and/or quite empty.  If a move is made, one should have a plan (made with some coaching perhaps) of creating and replacing activities that fill one's time and enrich one's life.  One, and/or the family members, should read all about what is needed and good for life in the latter years and become competently knowledgeable enough to plan and implement the new life, rather than leaving it to ignorant chance.)

“PHILOSOPHICAL PERSPECTIVE”

One does not feel "sad" if one realizes that one is not losing anything other than a fictional expectation or "theoretical must".  As we age in the later years, we experience the loss of certain powers (or the energy and ability to do certain things) and we often mourn the loss.  Instead, we could say "well, golly gee, I'm still ahead of where I was when I was 3 years old...".  There are thousands of things we are still capable of...and our "job" is to find and do what those things are.  (It's the same basic idea as in the piece The Mountain Of Haves.  I also like what W. Mitchell said about his various physical limitations and “tragedies”.)

For me, I would probably watch the streaming seasons of some great TV series, as I watch zero of those presently.  I would read, or listen to, (lots and lots of great books that would be fun stories - as I read zero fiction books now - a fiction book is like living another life for the time one is reading it - bonus lives, what a great idea!).  I would find ways to contribute to others (always getting a good feeling from that!).  I would sit in the sun (with lots of sun protection) and enjoy it.  I would go to more plays and music performances.  I would join a club or two (though many people would find it even better to join more than that).  I probably would go on cruises if I could, but I’d be content if I couldn’t - maybe I’d watch travelogues on YouTube. I would still do my best in physical fitness classes, perhaps becoming at least a good o-limp-ian.

As I’m cruising by a young 75, mostly intact and very healthy, I am looking forward to my “fourth life”, after I fully live my “third life” in all of its wonderfulness…. (though there are some great stories in my “second life”, where I lived it all…)

I hope that whoever reads this will heed it (and share it)- and create a truly enriching life of full happiness.

Keith D. Garrick

Related pieces:  

Yes, you will die.  I suggest that you "get over it", as it does no good to worry about it.  (Duh!). (See News Flash! You Will Die! Is That OK With You?)

Indeed, one thing to really nail down into total clarity and understanding (and peace) is one’s Philosophy Of Life (a great thing to do any time in life, but particularly later, for yourself and potentially to pass on to the ones you love, so that they can live better, happier lives!).  This is vital, as it is what will have one living in full happiness, handling at least the four key requirements for one to be happy in life.

Also, I wrote a piece awhile back as a start on this:  Aging Very Well - And Living A Great Life In “Old Age”.

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SHARE THIS?

If you got all the way through this, please heed it yourself but also pass it on to others - both the people in the situation AND the well-meaning loved ones who want the best for the one who created so much good for them.  This piece is not the complete story of what to do, but hopefully it will inspire a few people to take life by the horns and create it proactively (and smartly!).  Post a link via social media or use the little white envelope right below this post….

Let me know, por favor, if there are any people that have done anything as a result of this process.  Contact.