The decision to be “Cause In The Matter of life” instead of hoping that others will be cause in the matter of your life and that the world will do what one prefers (and complain about it if it doesn’t) moves one from the victim role to taking a stand for what one truly wants in life.
When one shifts from being "at the effect" of life, the world, and others to being "the cause" of one's life, 100%, one experiences THE most profound shift that one can make in life!
When one shifts from being "at the effect" of life, the world, and others to being "the cause" of one's life, 100%, one experiences THE most profound shift that one can make in life!
[Of course, one might ask oneself, how far along on the spectrum from victim to being cause am I? Is that the level that you would like to continue at or would it be best to "up your game" in life to be 100% at cause?]
In fact, it is THE key cornerstone to having a great life...it also allows one to redirect the great and fruitless use of energy in trying to get others to conform to one’s own preferences/demands!
Spending time complaining, pointing out fault (i.e. criticizing) and/or how another is not doing as one wishes, correcting others, defending or justifying oneself...is all time spent to try to control the uncontrollable (or trying to control something that has low net benefit).
The decision to go to Zero Concern, and total acceptance that the world and people do what they do for their own purposes, about what the world does to oneself and to shift to 100% Responsibility in creating one’s own life is the “One Decision That Changes The Quality Of One’s Whole Life” (and to only exerting control efforts where it truly matters and is truly beneficial to one’s life). In that, one shifts to the results world (the workability paradigm) away from the world of right/wrong/good/bad (aka "hell").
When we let go of blindly always having concern for what others think of us (and the mistaken belief that is what determines our lives), we become free to only do what really matters (only focusing on influencing another’s opinion where it actually has a real impact).
When we engage in conversation ONLY for the purpose of giving benefit/value to ourselves and/or another, then we progress in life. If we only point out problems (assuming that the criticism will spur another to action or “get even”) and do not make any progress toward a solution, we are engaging in wasted efforts (wasting life) AND at the same time experiencing “not feeling good” (“feeling bad”) - which, of course, is not a place to dwell even for a moment!
The life successful person will only spend the minimum time needed to define and set up a problem for solution and then spend 95+% On Solutions!
When one puts these latter two strategies together, one will find that one’s life will rise a quantum leap above where it would be otherwise.
Try it, allow no violation of it, and see what a difference it will make in your life!
And let me know if you acted on this and any results (or lack of results) that you got from it: Contact.
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The above piece was the ending part of an email reply that started with the questions below.
The circumstances were such that the person (who had sought my help) was calling me "smug and arrogant" and saying that my teaching approach might work in business school but was not effective in real life. It will be interesting to see that person's reaction to these writings and now progressive the reaction is (or isn't).
The questions:
And let me know if you acted on this and any results (or lack of results) that you got from it: Contact.
_______________________________
The above piece was the ending part of an email reply that started with the questions below.
The circumstances were such that the person (who had sought my help) was calling me "smug and arrogant" and saying that my teaching approach might work in business school but was not effective in real life. It will be interesting to see that person's reaction to these writings and now progressive the reaction is (or isn't).
The questions:
Are you living that which you demand of others?
Are you being compassionate?
Are you, instead, shooting a cannon across the bow of another’s ship?
Are you criticizing another for being too critical (i.e. doing the same thing you don’t want another to do)?
Are you finding fault, instead of just seeking solutions and progress?
Are you engaging in battles with others, including drivers who do not do as you wish all the way to those of significance to you? [This is a sure sign and cause of life not working!]
Are you engaging in battles with others, including drivers who do not do as you wish all the way to those of significance to you? [This is a sure sign and cause of life not working!]
Are you living what you espouse? (Not a criticism, but a question to identify any gap that might better be closed.)
Are you so busy finding fault with others and/or the world when they do not do what you want that you are not devoting the energy to enhancing your own life?
The answers to these will be reflected in the results one has in one's life. If life is full of stress and anxiety and blame/fault and not going that well, then we know what the answers are - and that our work is clear ahead of us. If we are not doing all that we can do to make life better and not waiting for "the big solution" or "some sudden shift in attitude/effectiveness", then, and only then, will life get better. This is straight life physics, not some hoped for effect.
The answers to these will be reflected in the results one has in one's life. If life is full of stress and anxiety and blame/fault and not going that well, then we know what the answers are - and that our work is clear ahead of us. If we are not doing all that we can do to make life better and not waiting for "the big solution" or "some sudden shift in attitude/effectiveness", then, and only then, will life get better. This is straight life physics, not some hoped for effect.
___________________________________________
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