What if one value conflicts with another...?

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Go back to the beginning of the posts on July 3rd, to start the sequence.

Since two things cannot fit into the same space or happen at the same time, we must always make "tradeoffs", where we choose something of higher value that will displace something of lower value.  If we do not do that, we will live a life of lower value - and that is not a good choice, even if one has the excuse of being ignorant of how to value activities in life.

This truth above does not mean that 'more of" one highest value activity will always displace all others.  The reason for that is that as we do more of something the extra value created will ALWAYS over time diminish.  As we eat more pie, the satisfaction from eating pie goes down, until we choose to stop eating pie (and jump for the ice cream!).  

So, what if one of your highest valued activities is to relate to your children and they are visiting for a week?  Does this mean that each hour (after being with them for several hours) will have high value or that you should religiously just focus on them all the hours of the week?  

Wouldn't you still sleep?  Wouldn't you still do what is good for your health?  Wouldn't you still assure that your basic emotional well-being is taken care of and not diminished by taking too many hours to be with the kids?  

A wise person who makes good choices in life, and is thus happy, will choose to "distinguish what is of value", "differentiate", and "think" (using the higher brain to decide) to determine what is of the highest value for the moment (or next unit of time).  He/she will "draw boundaries" and then choose to implement those boundaries in order to assure that all highest value activities will be engaged in.  

This person would tell the kids that he/she will be taking some time for him/herself or simply say "I need some time to do a few things for myself, so let's not start on our joint activities until 10 am.  Ok?"  ("OK?" in this case is not asking for permission and is only verifying that they "get it" and agree with it or have no problem with it.)   If the relationship is so precarious and/or they don't appreciate the great number of hours you will be spending with them, then the relationship is not in good repair or there is an understanding that needs to be established.  

Foolish is the man or woman who gives away what is most valuable in life for what is not - who let's the "pressure" of "outside demands" govern his/her life at the moment displacing governing her life herself, by choosing to do what is of truly the most long term value.  

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Much happiness to you in making wise tradeoffs and standing for what is best for you!

Keith