How to have less of a life - and more of a life

(If you received this via email, click on the title of the post to see the whole post.)

To put it simply living an undirected life is aimless.  (Of course!)   It's pointless.  It is the wasting of most of the potential in life.  It is living life thoughtlessly. 

If one communicates without making a point, one gains (other than the fun of chomping one's gums) nothing and gives nothing - in fact robs the other.  One takes up the space of another and because of the "gap", the other feels more distanced, and perhaps a little wary.  (Oh, geez, will this person just be irritating or will we have a real conversation that is relevant to me?)

If one lets impulses run one's life, distractions draw one aside from going forward, then one cannot possibly come even close to progressing enough to have sufficient wisdom to know how to create a good or great life.  

If one is constantly running off at the mouth with ideas of what to do (and usually taking great pride in being able to do so), not letting people sit and relax or not checking in with them or paying attention to the "why don't you just stop irritating me" signals, one is not only wasting one's time but also infringing on and stealing others' time and peace of mind also! 

If one is constantly wanting to talk about "go-go" achievement or "getting better", there is constant pressure and the other person is robbed of the time to let his/her brain renew and relax.

If one is constantly late and cannot be relied on, one is creating stress in another (and oneself!), so that people will be hesitant (and/or not wanting) to do anything with that person.  

If one does not follow through on what is promised explicitly or implicitly (or does it at the last possible moment so that people are stressed, waiting and wondering and being in uncertainty about whether he/she will pull through), then he/she is disrespecting, in action (in the real world), the other and certainly damaging the relationship, as there is no saint on earth that can handle that crap with total acceptance.

If one is so often in doubt and can't make decisions until "later" or needs to "perfect" things, most often delaying others and frustrating them, then others bear the brunt of what he/she does.  And he/she needs to learn how to make decisions quickly and/or do things a little less perfectly (when there is little value in perfecting something).

If one does any of these, people will be pushed away, not so much because they don't like him/her but because it is stressful and/or unpleasant to be around that person.

If one is doing any of these and doesn't look to see if he/she is doing any of them, then one is shortchanging oneself and the others around him/her, harming those closest to him/her the most, by blindly continuing that behavior. 

So, honestly and confrontingly:  Do you do any of these?

THE GOOD LIFE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE...

Of course, the way to have more of a life is to do the opposite, positive side of the above.  

Actions with intention and screened for true value, including conversations that are no longer a waste of space.  

The self control to not let the primitive mind (the "monkey mind") run the show like a monkey, with impulses and running hither and thither chasing shiny objects and remote possibilities (out of hunger for stimulation and hope??).  One will have a good life when one steps up and takes on responsibility for actually running one's life instead of being a child or victim about it.

One shows up to appointments early and takes control to assure that will happen - and one gets things that involve others done early and first (and very respectfully).  

One measures one's conversation and does not intrude on others, and pays attention to their signals (or asks, to "checkout" things instead of going on mindlessly doing the same thing).

And he/she protects his/her own time and energy and assures heshe is spending both (and renewing as needed) on high value rather than random value or urgency with no forethought as to what the value is.

So, which will you commit to doing and actually do???

(What is your written answer to these?  Will you set and review daily your intentions and statements about what you will do?  Will you do a plan to change these behaviors?  Will you do "the work", which will take a good chunk of time, but well worth it?)