Don't be an advice giver, persuader, convincer... be careful!

(Click on the title of the post to see the entire post.)

DON'T TRY TO HELP RACCOONS

We all want to be helpful.  We all want to have other people live their lives better.

But we must follow the sage advice:

"Never try to teach a raccoon how to sing.

It'll just tick him off - and he won't learn anyway."

I tried to teach 2 separate raccoons.  I "kinda" recognized that they were fearful and unable to let go, but still I thought I could somehow make a difference.  It did make some difference, but most of it was just an expression of not being truly willing or committed.  They did not learn how to sing much - and it was a great sinkhole of effort for me.


EXERTING "CONTROL" - CHOOSE WELL

Which brings up the idea of not trying to control others, their behaviors, or how they will do in life.  The first reason not to is because it will only use your time up in a wasteful, poor results way.

The second reason is that it will either do nothing but serve as enabling the other person to continues to be dependent or it will irritate, alienate, and tick off the other person, making the relationship worse!

Some would criticize a person's incentive to be "helpful".  Doing it for your own ego, to be a superior person, to show off how wise you are.  Or you're just trying to straighten something out.
It doesn't matter that you have good or "bad" intentions, it just matters that it doesn't work.

So, don't do it!


A BIG TRAP

It is hard to resist, and I keep falling into the trap, as the idea of creating a great life and great thinking, etc., is pretty much all I study.  But I still have to learn that my objective, reasoning way of looking at things will tick off people who are stuck in an emotionally laden belief system.

So, I get better and better at "keeping my mouth shut", and falling fewer times into the hole.


CONSIDER THESE

I urge you to fully consider these:

"No Payoff" Convincing, Persuading, Correcting, Teaching - Often With A Negative Payoff.

Identify the raccoons, as you can determine them by seeing, from the evidence you can see, which are of The Fixed Mindset Or The Growth Mindset.

Giving Advice And Help - Will It Be Effective? Ask Permission?

Being Right, One Of The Highest Costs In Life - Helping doesn't necessarily fit in this category, but it will often incur costs.

Control - Use It Powerfully For The Greatest Effect! Don't Waste It!

And if you are going to exert control, consider that it should be done where it has the greatest likelihood of a result AND also the greatest impact of importance to you - see The Concentric Rings Of Importance - Placing The Stuff Of Life In Its Right Place.  (Note that society's imperatives are not necessarily true, as they do not fit with the reality of what is important for a human being - the fictions abound, so you've got to identify what is actually true.