This is an email from best selling "guru" Ryan Holiday that I thought was worthwhile passing on, as something, when you get a chance (or tickle to listen to later) and enough time, that would be well worth your knowing.
"Kevin Rose, who we’ve previously interviewed for the Daily Stoic, recently recorded a podcast with Ryan about Stoicism and asked the understandable question about the consequences of suppressing one’s emotions. He also wondered what the Stoics would think about the idea of ‘blowing off steam?’ You can listen to the whole interview, but here is the excerpt that answers Kevin's question.
“There is a quote from Nassim Taleb, who is a fan of the Stoics, and it’s a great line. He is saying Stoicism is not the absence of emotions, but the domestication of them. It’s not about suppressing them, it's about controlling and directing them. The question would be: Is venting at someone you care about a good way to let off steam or emotions? Or is it better to do it working out or writing it down?
If Lincoln was really upset at someone, he would write them a long letter explaining exactly why he was upset, what they did wrong, what he wants to do about it, and then he’d put those letters in a drawer and then never send them. He's not bottling it up but what he's not doing is fooling himself that telling someone how angry he is with them is changing the situation at all. Because in reality that’s often making it worse. It’s the anger that creates resentment on the other end. Now that person is angry that you're angry and it creates this whole sort of explosion. I think what the Stoics are doing is, they are not saying ‘don't have any emotions.’ They're saying: Use your emotions productively and don't be whipped around by them. Don't be led by them. You should lead your emotions.”
[Try the introduction, below.]
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