Dear _____
You write of how you now understand that if one fails at anything it is just a matter of learning what to do. AND you refer to how you really want to clean up all that you do not know and that you will learn from all these breakdowns and failings that are occurring. But I detect a note of bias toward "what is wrong" and perhaps a bit of expecting yourself to be better than a normal range of being human.
Its appears to me that there could be some need for a change in perspective here, where you can, instead, focus on being kind and nurturing to yourself - and very accepting of what occurs, including one's "imperfections".
It looks to me as if you have a concept of this perfect human being existing and being one you need to live up to being - which, of course, is impossible.
So, I'd like you to read the piece (and its links to other pieces in the reading sequence) on Perfection.
A human being does not do well always "being under the gun", driven by trying to be better but from the point of view of not being enough or driven by the fear of being disapproved of.
The focus on such things is demoralizing to the Primitive Mind and just reinforces its bias toward exaggeratedly and erroneously looking for what is wrong (threatening), causing it to come up with another barrage of negatively associated thoughts. (The Primitive Mind has little intelligence so it coughs up all the thoughts associated with whatever is going on - that is where the assertion that "like attracts like" comes from - a negative thought will attract a negative, in an ever reinforcing downward spiral, unless... there is an intervening move on your (higher brain's) part.)
You are actually quite capable and able to do more than what is necessary for survival, but some old beliefs are still holding you as if you are not "above" the line of good survival- and that creates The Unhappiness Gap and saps one of the emotional energy needed for other things in life.
Among the linked pieces to the Perfection article is Replacing The "I Am Not Good Enough Belief" - Program And Related Links. I hope you read that piece and gain more understanding of how all of this works and then install it in your life!
Our end goal here is to eliminate the untrue beliefs that are causing stress and stealing away our emotional energy and to change the balance of the conversations over to being highly positive. (See The Positivity Ratio.)
We are moving toward where one's thoughts are mostly aspirational, in a positive way, where one is thinking that one is blessed for what one has and is excited by what he/she is thinking about creating and adding to his/her life and the lives of those one cares about - where one is creating with confidence!
(We'll talk more about that later, so for now read what is suggested and install it as well as you can, as an "imperfect" human being. We must assure that you do not fall victim to the downward spiral where "like attracts like" when we continue to entertain negative thoughts - which should not be allowed for a second past one's being aware of them! See also No Negative Conversations! Eliminate These Toxics From The Brain.)
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THE IDEA OF "IMPERFECTION" OF HUMAN BEINGS
Somehow we came up with, and talk about, the idea that we humans are imperfect, as if there was a standard of perfection that we could reasonably use to determine that we are short of.
That is a preposterous idea and perspective, as human beings take a long time to evolve and become even more capable and therefore cannot possibly leap forward to some concept of what we "should" be.
The fact is that we are, by far, the most advanced creatures in the known universe, already far, far more capable than is needed for us to learn and to survive well in the world. We are, from my point of view, the beneficiaries of a miraculous set of events that allowed us to exist and evolve into the marvelous creatures that we are. (Try using that as an affirmation every day: "I am a marvelous creature!")
Setting up some made-up standard of what we "should" be is nonsensical, as it is impossible to attain most people's versions of what that would be.
Indeed, if we are already considerably above the basic capability of more than just surviving and if we are already living in "Bonusland", we are already more than we need to be. And we are blessed beyond measure. Consider reading What I Have, For Sure - My Mountain Of Haves Versus The Preposterous Idea Of Unreasonable Expectations. And consider I Am Whole And Complete - and see why.
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