Why your life story matters - and why to correct it RIGHT NOW!

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S writes:

What do you think of this?    Why Your Life Story Matters And Why You Need To Tell It Now.
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ANSWER:

If you truncate the subtitle, the message is:  "Who you think you are has a huge impact..."

It's so true.

The article suggests two different reasons for "telling your story" - and then it suggests making sure that you have the story down correctly.

I absolutely agree.


PART 1 - TELLING YOUR STORY TO OTHERS.

The first part is "telling your story" to others.  But that means here (and in real life) that you tell only part of your story and that you not barf up the whole story, tales of woe and all.

It suggests that it is useful in being with others in relationships and at work in the sense that they will feel more connected, safer, more trusting if you tell them the parts of your philosophy that tell how you like to work, what matters most to you, how you think about things, what touches you, what makes you tick.  But only do this to "align the tribe" with you for your benefit in relating to them.  If you do this, you will achieve more of the primal survival goal of "assuring that the tribe values you and connects with you" so that you will survive at a higher level where we all cooperate and support each other for our greater good.

That's well and good.  And it is so very important.


PART 2 - TELLING YOUR STORY TO YOURSELF - AND CORRECTING IT!.

But the most important thing to do by far is for one to look at and then correct the series of stories that one makes up about "who one is".

Actually what is occurring is that each of us is only "choosing to be" a particular way based on what we "think" that we know.  In reality one is not stuck with any "fixed way" of being.  We actually only have habitual ways of being, such as "being an introvert" or "being undeserving", but they are not inherent fixed ways of being.  (Accordingly, you should be clear about Who You Actually Are.)

This is what The LMA Site is ultimately designed to address: letting go of the false beliefs (that are often in the form of false stories) and replacing those with what is true and workable.  However, most people do not do a good job of spotting what is false until they learn and understand a few basics of reality, such as:

1.  What Is Reality? Know What It Is Or Suffer From Irreality - You must understand this, and it is useful to also link into Evolution - And The Logic Of How Our Minds And Bodies Work, utilizing the links in the sidebar to further nail this understanding down.

2.  How Your Brain/Body Actually Works (and how to work them!)

And then you should understand how we "make up" things and believe that they are "the truth". Read The Believing Brain Summary.

Your "story" is about events (sometimes correctly remembered, sometimes not) and what you tell yourself about them, including the meaning you give them.   You should know and at least understand, on the site, What Is A Story And What's Not A Story - And The Power Of Not Telling Any Stories ever again!

Much of the time we take a completely neutral event and we add meaning to it where there is no meaning.  Often we make conclusions that are un-thought-out.  But, despite the fact that they have not been verified, we take them on as if they are the truth.  But, inevitably most of them are based on assumptions, illogic, and non-facts.  It seems that Lennie (our primitive brain) conjures them up but does not run them through the higher brain to be "checked out" fact-wise and logic wise.

When Plato says The Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living, he is stating the truth that we will not live a good life, or as good a life, if we continue to believe unexamined, false beliefs!

So, when, as the author suggests, we make sure we tell the corrected story, I totally agree.

However, I don't really know of another person who has completed the process! (Here is one attempt:The Story That Caused My Life, So Far....)


I WOULD SUGGEST THIS PROCESS INSTEAD

I would suggest that the process be modified to this:

Write down the "story of your life" from start to finish, as rapidly as possible with no editing, by recalling what occurred in your life AND what you made those things mean.  What conclusions did you draw about yourself?  You would write the whole thing out as best you can, before proceeding with the next question.  (You can, however, as you write the story, also write down any thoughts and questioning of yourself.)   Although you can come back later if you wish, I recommend that you do this in no more than two hours OR in one sitting (with appropriate breaks, but not stopping until the process is finished) - otherwise, you'll never complete the exercise.

And then you'd ask "which beliefs are leading me to do what doesn't work to get the right results for me?"  You can always spot those by "the signs", as we know that if we get a bad result (that's the sign!) there is always a cause - and/or you can look for any beliefs that might have supported getting the wrong result or not getting the right result.  If you can't ferret all of them out, you can just look down the list of beliefs and link into the related discussion and solutions from the page Beliefs And Thoughts - Contents/Links.

It is also highly beneficial if you engage a partner in the process (a counselor, an objective wise friend, or such) to help you get through the "finishing" of the process and to help you see what you are blind to on your own.


SO, THAT'S WHAT I THINK!

The general meaning of the article is absolutely true.  And the vital part, as soon as possible, is for one to tell one's story to oneself - and then go back and run it through the "crap detector" to correct it. (Jim Loehr, the famous productivity coach and author of several great books, uses this term in his book The Power Of Story - Rewrite Your Destiny In Business And In Life.)

The end objective is to, whatever it takes, end up with the key beliefs that underlie happiness (as listed in The Road To Happiness), which include the all important "sense of agency" that is mentioned in Cain's article but which is normally called Self-Efficacy - The Essential Sense Of Life Competency.


NAIL THIS, PLEASE!

May you really nail this down as it is an absolute must for living a life of true happiness!!!











Of possible interest on The Site:  The Story That Caused My Life, So Far...