The Core Foundation For All Of Life (see book recommendation)

(Click on the title to see the entire post.)

VITAL IF ONE IS TO HAVE A GOOD/GREAT LIFE!

The core foundational basis for all of life:

1. Your models of reality (“beliefs”)
2. Your systems you use to get what you want

Since these are the foundation to all of life, it would make sense that you would make sure these were all serving you at the highest level.  You’ve heard “a chain is as strong as its weakest link”.   The chain in this case is the “causal chain” which is all the “steps” that lead from one step to another and ultimately produce the desired results.  

We can either leave the most vital link in the chain, where it all starts, to happenstance OR we might, instead, note the results we’re getting and then, if they are not good, correct the chain - EACH part of the chain, but absolutely correct the beginning of the chain!!!  

If we note that we are experiencing a “negative feeling”, that is a sign that things aren’t working (in some way) - which would suggest that it might be useful to correct whatever it was the caused the negative feeling - and not leave it to repeat itself later.

Specifically, note that If we criticize ourselves in order to “correct” or “motivate” ourselves, we inflict on ourselves a negative feeling.  If we feel “shame” and “guilt” (which are “designed” to have us correct our social behavior, mostly), then we have a bad belief system that is out of date and erroneous and that we CANNOT allow to keep on harming us!!!!  

The bottom line is that a negative feeling is virtually always an indicator of a false belief.  You might disagree, but I purport that there is a better way to motivate oneself, one that has no negative to it.   A negative feeling is a “result” - and one that is undesirable..  

While we might “want to” correct our negative beliefs, we often are stuck in the absolutely false beliefs: (read the links to see the truth)

I am not capable of learning and correcting and being more effective.

I do not have the time.

It might not be worth the time.                

Once you start working on your beliefs, at some point it will be best to correct the biggest harmful belief and one of the beliefs that must be corrected or one cannot possibly achieve real happiness:  

   I am not capable of handling my life.

This must be corrected!

Another major misbelief is the one we engage in when we are being a parent scolding a child and believing it works.  Correspondingly, the big key belief to change in life is that we are “wrong” or “bad” in what we do and, accordingly, also should be criticized or punished.

The truth, objectively and scientifically provable, is that judgmental criticism is not valid.  The truth, instead, is that “we all do the best we can at the time WITHIN the limits of our awareness (knowledge).  If there is an undesired result, there is no “fault” in us but only a lacking of knowledge.  We are NEVER to blame.  The solution is always to cure the lack of knowing, not to fault ourselves or others.  

In short, there is no fault, only “not yet knowing”.  (And cure is in gaining the knowing!!!)  You must accept and install this belief in yourself or you will not, absolutely not, be able to have true happiness.  Read up on this and work on it until you’ve “got it”.)

We have lots of beliefs to correct, as we adopted lots of them without question or thinking. But at what point do we stop correcting our beliefs?  

The answer is when you have reached the point where you:

1. Virtually never experience blame, shame, guilt, or self criticism.

2. Are able to understand and believe absolutely the fact that you have all the equipment you need to create happiness - i.e., you have the power to do anything any other human being has done - you only need find out what they learned and the system details of what they did.  

Please don’t stop short of achieving that, as each amount of learning and effort to gain that level of beliefs is well worth it - and, in fact, priceless.  Isn’t your happiness priceless?  Isn’t it “unsmart” to leave in place that which makes oneself unhappy?

Why do people stop and let the busyness of life interfere without repairing the very vehicle that gets one through life?  Why would anybody continue to base their lives on a shaky, faulty foundation?

As Vishen Lakhiani puts it, referring to our destination way of being:  “Be unf**kwithable.”  (from others and from our own automatic thoughts).  I suggest that you get to that point!!!  (Or, on the site, you might read The Skill Of Fearlessness - and achieve it!)

I suggest that you buy Vishen’s book The Code Of The Extraordinary Mind (no it’s not a woo-woo book), which uses factual, engineering type thinking and is absolutely worth understanding.  Note that you should not just “consider” buying it - you should definitely buy it!!!

I would suggest also, as a reinforcer and further illuminator, you read and implement The Four Agreements, by Ruiz  (if you have a question on how to do that, email me).  (Ruiz page on the site.)

Email me (Contact) if you have any comments, including suggestions, the actions you’ve taken and the results you’ve gotten from you studying this and implementing it (to whatever degree).