While we are discussing breathing, I'll bet you're not doing it right and not using "the tools" to feel better!

(Click on the title of the post to read the entire post.)

(We have been discussing breathing in our blog posts and in our pieces on Vipassana.)

Most people do a form of hyperventilating, with shallow, rapid breaths, which is not only deenergizing but also helps sustain anxiety and the stress that is causing that type of breathing in the first place.

Most people have, over time, just "lost it" and no longer know how to breathe right normally.

They also do not access a quick simple tool for truly energizing and they don't use the tool that is calming, no matter how poor your mind control is.

These tools work!  You should use them!

After all, breathing qualifies for the highest payoff activity to correct, as all repeated activities are the ones that will give us multiplied, repetitive benefits that add up to huge value.  We breath, in a normal life, more than 420 million times...

Need I say more?

I recommend that you read the reading sequence and master the three breathing tools for a better life:  Breathing - For Oxygenation, Restoration, Calming, Energizing - Contents, Links, Test.

This will make a major difference in your life.

Keith
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There are very few people in developed countries who do this right, at great cost to themselves and their lives.  If you wish to share this with anyone, please click on the little white envelope right below this post.

The election is analogous to running your own internal tradeoffs in your life - and you have to vote one way or the other...and try to gain control...

(Click on the title of the post to read the entire post.)

Of course, no one knows for certain which Presidential candidate would have been best.

They may think (translation: believe) that they know the future for certain, but...

While I am commenting on politics in the US, I am more interested in how it adds light and an opportunity in our own internal (discipline, emotional) struggles in life that occur every day in one's life, in attempting to satisfy all "sides".  

THE ELECTION WAS A PERFECT ILLUSTRATION OF...

As to the election itself, it was a perfect illustration of what is written about in the books The Righteous Mind and The Believing Brain (the links are to my summaries, and then to the books).  It was a perfect illustration of the illusion that "emotional reasoning" tells us what is "the truth" and of the thinking errors that all human's brains will be subject to.  (If you are not human and are above it all, you need read no further, but if are human, even though tremendously smart and intelligent and thinking you are objective, these errors will occur for you, for sure.) 

And, of course, the result of the election (either way) would not actually turn out to be the disaster ((if you are on the losing side) that you worry about nor the new perfect world that will now come about (if you are on the winning side).   (In Zen Habits, he writes Compassion In The Midst Of Madness, which certainly is the better way to go!)

BUT, FIRST, ONE MUST LEARN THIS...

But the case is, whether in politics or internally in your life, you always will benefit by knowing how the mind works AND how to work it, for it is the instigator of the emotions and the "great guide" is still what one needs to come to the workable actions that will make the difference.

As I am writing my book (working title The Self Control Book), I see that the higher brain MUST sufficiently comfort or de-discomfort the primitive mind, fill enough of the basic needs, and assure the primitive mind of the safety and survival of oneself, first, before we can manage it.  

If you can't start the day totally grounded and sufficiently "safe", with some specific minimal needs filled, you will have a day that is uncertain and anxious, be less effective, and/or have a day where you have trouble even starting up very well!!!   

IN THE MOMENT, DO THIS...

Later in the day, if something puts us off our emotional or physical stasis, we must address that and make the best of it by, guess what: engaging the higher brain such that you can return ASAP to The Zone.  If you stay in the "offness", you will wander around, likely getting nowhere, trying to unthinkingly solve the "problem" (of "offness").  

So, the wise person knows that at the start of the day and each. and every time, an "offness" occurs, he/she must use this simple system:  Pause, breathe(!), think (engage the higher brain).  Regardless of what is going on, the wise person virtually ALWAYS does The Pause - it never makes sense not to do it!

The process is The Prime Process (procedure) that a person must have down pat, completely clearly, completely installed, for it is the beginning that leads to things being much more workable, and ultimately to a much better life.  

To be able to implement a strategy at the time that it is needed, one must design ahead of time what one will do, clarify the why and the how and then practice the process until it is fully installed and always used, until it is automatic and effortless. (An example of the type of thinking is illustrated in The Skill And The Process For Effective Change.)  

We must always decide ahead of time and be very clear as to what to do.  The pause-breathe-think is the one system design that is the most important of all of the system designs that create a better and easier life.  (A process or a procedure is a system, which is simply a series of steps in a specific sequence that will lead to a desired results.)  [Government could use a lot of improved and definite well-designed systems!.  But for now, you should concentrate on doing a magnificent job of creating great systems for your own good!] 

THE MORNING SYSTEM - GETTING IT INTO EFFECT AND EFFECTIVE

And the system design that I am now working on re-designing with more thought and better knowledge (from studying this more!) is 

1) to have the "perfect", for me, start of the day design, that will launch me into the day and way of being that will best serve me AND 

2) to utilize the vital gold time with absolute focus (allowing no, zero, distractions) that the day starts off with.  

Yes, the rest of the day matters, but, if you do this process, you will have already lived a magnificent (about) 5 hour day that has more value than all of the week's afternoon and evenings added together, in total.  

WHERE THERE IS MASSIVE IMPORTANCE, MORE PERFECTING IS NECESSARY!

Where there is great possible return, that is repeated over and over again in life, we must focus and perfect the system that will gain that for us.  Besides the systems for emotional regulation and management, the two systems above are of the highest return and very much worth perfecting.

Toward the end of bettering what I do, I am revising my early day, and several considerations to pay attention to. 

In the start of the day, I must "feed the elephant" (my body and vulnerable primitive mind) what it needs to feel sufficiently satisfied AND safe (which includes being confident about this day).  And I know that the design will not be the "perfect" model that I want, but it will be one that works for the better.  

SHOOTING TOO SOON FOR PERFECTION

My earlier conception of the perfect model was to "get up", take care of what is needed for 5 minutes and then go off to exercise (without having eaten, so that I could burn off more fat)...and so on.  But there was a problem that occurred at the border between my thinking (called the "metaphysical" world, not of the physical world of reality) and getting over the border into physically producing the results. It didn't work! 

There was a "design flaw" where I forgot (or overlooked) some details in the causal chain, at first, viewing it too simply, this way:

Five minute routine --> exercise for 30 minutes --> do some perfect grounding --> ....

Instead,  it looked more like this:

Five minute routine. --> need to satisfy body/primitive mind enough so it is not stuck --> then...

I forgot what happened right after the five minutes, next in the series of steps.

I also forgot that the rewiring of the brain is gradual (not metaphysically instant!), It is a bit like developing muscles, where one must build up one's strength until one can handle bigger weights (and not just because you decided in your mind to be physically stronger).  

So, I may still get to the point of doing what I think will be the best (the 5 minutes, or so, then exercise) routine, but not now.  But that's just fine, as I am making more progress.  

My main necessity is 

1) to have a great launch of a conversation for the day and 

2) to limit, to less than 30 minutes (for now), my necessary physical and mental transition from sleeping to launching the day start - which includes a timer being set as a physical cue AND still allowing myself to explore a few minutes of a high interest email or idea,  But before allowing any exploration and potential for wandering, I've set the rule to ONLY classify, without exceptions, in less than 5 minutes, all of the emails I will read or might wish to read (into a "Sure" box and a "High" box, the latter of which I hardly ever get to).  In this way, I never get caught up into a mindless process of wandering about exploring things without a sense of balance or time. 

[I also satisfy my curiosity and exploration inclination by setting it up so I can do all I want of that, but only in the evening - and only if it fits.  This, essentially, "flips my day" from doing all that I'm interested in in the morning, which pushes out my higher productivity time, to doing it in the evening if there is enough time left over - the end result is that I get the absolute value of the gold hours and I don't allow the less important to push out the most important due to lack of time!!!!]

So, as is more realistic, I am building from some initial doable habits/changes to some bigger ones later on, but getting a lot of benefits from the initial changes, patiently considering the reality of time and that all things take time.  I will simply take the amount of time needed to gradually and effectively build up to greater and greater things.  

OH, AND ANOTHER DETAIL

Oh, and I also never really got around to doing the strategy that many experts recommend in morning routines: to do  extensive outloud reading of various inspirational materials, intentions, declarations, etc. that might take up to 30 minutes or so.  Bottom line I needed to cut it down to a few minutes of exactly what I needed to hear and install in my conversation for the ideal strong day.  (I'll give you a copy of it when I get it to the level I want it.). 

It is true, to some extent I am "letting my feelings" govern to some extent,  but limiting them by a set, decided system, until I get better and develop more muscle.  Those who let their feelings run their lives are doomed to using the limited thinking of the primitive mind and the outdated and/or insufficient impulses and non-thinking of that lower brain....

SO, THE BOTTOM LINE... 

We need to use excellent operating knowledge to create a way to implement "self control" so that we can get more of what we want in life.  To do that, our higher brain must devise ways to get the workable behavior actually done, given that there is often "another side" that means well but will be pushing for a counterproductive behavior, putting up "resistance", or caught up in a negative emotion. 

The "art of self management" lies in increasing the strength of the side toward what works, such that it overcomes the primitive mind's push for something else.  But if we don't fill enough of what the primitive mind wants, it will push much more strongly and often win (where we lose).  

The art is in increasing the power of the "good" side and diminishing the power of the "opposing" side.  In my study of Navy Seals, one key distinguishing factor is that they realize that many primitive mind signals (and limits) are not accurate and/or not true and, accordingly, that they can be ignored or lessened - the Seals are beyond operating reactively but have arrived at actually proactively insert thinking with the knowledge of how things actually work to make decisions that are for their best benefit.  They realize that there is nothing to be afraid of and that "the force" on the other side is not legitimate (or is much weaker).  

Part of what us ordinary people need to see is that most of "signals" that cause us to give in to not doing what we should best do are illegitimate and/or very weak, and therefore very handleable.  It is as if we were trembling before the massive voice of the Wizard Of Oz, who was actually a wimp behind the curtain with a loud microphone...  The Navy Seals (and ourselves eventually will) see that there is no true power on the other side....  

The book about all of this, hopefully, will explain and make this really, really clear AND have you truly and easily becoming a master of self control and accordingly a Master Of Life.

(A bit of a disjointed piece, but I hope you get the ideas from it.) 

_________________

And, of course, what you should do with this is develop for yourself a great system for launching a powerful day.  See all the videos and examples of morning routines to copy or revise from in the piece The Morning Ritual - Launching Yourself Into Creating A Great Day. 

   

The Vital Skill Of Staying Energized

[If you received this as an email, click on the title to read the rest of the article.]

While you must never ignore recovery (rest, etc.), it is vital that you live with full energy the rest of the time.

Always do at least this:

THE REGULAR MASTER ROUTINE (Every time block; for me every 80 minutes within a time block of 90 minutes, i.e. for a 10 minute break.)

1,  Drink a full glass of water

2.  Quick in and out breaths through the nose only, rapidly raising arms over my shoulders and head. Make sure all breaths are deep and "hit bottom".  (Similar to this: Video, start at 5:00 minutes)    

     To a count of 30; perhaps 30 seconds

      Stop if you get dizzy, check with doctor to 

         see if it is ok to do, perhaps start less  rigorously 

3. Cupping, patting entire body.  See "Qigong" page. 

Repeat rapid nose breathing, as above.

Optional (all or one or more):  

      20+ forward lunges (Video, 2:20) 

      20 quick pushups

      20 jumping jacks (or "standing", moving only 

           one leg to the side, alternating)

      20 squats (Video, 2:25)

What is "hitting bottom"?  It is breathing in with sufficient depth (or force) to feel as if your breath hits the bottom of your lungs or stomach, like you've breather in fully.

This is part of the page The Vital Skill Of Energizing.  (And note the cautions.)

It is very, very important in life not to tolerate fatigue or being in any state that is not fully resourceful and capable!

Please do implement this into your life, as it will change the mood and energy of your whole life while enabling you to get more out of life.

Keith

Please share this with other people as it will be of substantial benefit to any human being on this planet. 

Learning To Breathe - Finally!

My special friend, Barbara, said she could not find a single person who had triumphed over social anxiety and panic.  She also said, I believe, that the specifics of her case were so unique that she doubted there would be a cure for her. 

I can sympathize with that thinking…and how it must make her feel. 

But I know that the thinking is erroneous and that it is essential that it be corrected, if she is to make progress in a shorter period of time.  Part of the thinking is that the problem is due to circumstances and/or locked in place by her past.  That is not true - and it can be a "reason" for thinking the problem is "fixed, permanent", which is a classic wrong way of thinking - and one that the Buddha cites as being a great source of suffering.    

But few understand the difficulties of those who experience panic attacks, no matter that source (the source is always thinking) - it can be a tough road, but the point is that there is a road to peace. 

Looking for the story of someone who has succeeded is a useful idea.  And certainly those people understand the difficulties.

One book that has been written and published recently is a delightful story of the year of learning to breathe – which, for a panic attack person, is very hard to do, as he/she has learned the wrong way to breathe and made it a habit – but one that is overcomeable.

But the solution does not lie solely in the breathing.  It is in handling each part of the syndrome, which is defined as a combination of parts.

Priscilla Warner writes in a manner reminiscent of Elizabeth Gilbert in her Eat, Pray, Love book.    Her book:  Learning To Breathe – My Yearlong Quest To Bring Calm To My Life. 

Or as she calls it her “my panic-to-peace project.”

It is a book that is hard to put down but one with many, many lessons included in it, as she rubs shoulders with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche (who shares how he cured his panic attacks; see also his book The Joy Of Living) and Krishna Das (who had recovered from many years of depression), and many others, each of whom contributed to her seeing and implementing what works to free herself up from that type of thinking in life.  Yes, breathing is part of it, but only a manifestation of the cause – which is the type of thinking that generates needless, useless suffering.  Tension, and the resultant exhaustion, is also a manifestation of the cause.

(She even generated proof of her changes, by having brain scans that showed her "before" and "after" brains – the latter looked more like that of the happiest people in the world – Tibetan Buddhist monks. See Rewiring The Brain.)

I urge you to read the book, whether you are trying to cure your social anxiety and panic attacks or just wanting to live a better life, still with ups and downs but with lots of “good stuff”.  And I urge you to follow in more depth the practices and paths she has taken.

As I write this, I feel a great sense of peace and appreciation for life.

Keith

There are also example after example of people who have overcome depression and/or panic attacks.  I list some their names on the site, in the depression section, in the Bad Past Good Life section, in the Panic Attacks section.  Review those and find a person who resonates.  Many are famous now.  Many have devised ways of helping others through the process – though they have products that sell for money, what they do is very beneficial for the world.  Read their stories and follow the clues that success leaves behind – for it is easier and more productive to follow the path of one who has already travelled the path you would like to travel.  True, you will have to select what works best for you, and, true, it might be best to have a guide to help you, but there is a path(s) that works for you!

Not tensing the body when busy

Barbara,

As I was "rushing" off to meet to help a person in a terrifying financial jam, I noticed my body tensing and my breathing pace increasing. (I also noticed the next day that I was rushing and sitting forward when writing the all important plan for this person - so I repositioned myself and relaxed, appreciating what I was doing and that it was my choice and I didn't need to do it perfectly.)

It occurred to me then that this was "bad training" for my mind and body. Indeed, it occurred to me, and I made the promise to myself, that I would not allow my body to do any "emergency" preparation unless it was an actual danger* to my physical body. I remembered that the emergency system evolved as those who had it survived, but that it is only for real emergencies. I was letting myself do such a broad interpretation of danger when it was clearly not a threatening situation.

The discipline is simple:

1. Talk to myself: Tell myself this is no emergency at all. Add nurturing words.
2. Do physical adjustments: Breathe deeply and slowly and check all muscles for tension and
let them go.

I resolved to check early for such tension and to have it be absolutely unacceptable to let myself damage myself by activating this system needlessly!

It is my hope that you do the same, as we need to absolutely train ourselves to dissolve those things which create artificial anxiety, either in our thoughts and/or in our body [of course, they're related!].

This is another very simple but incredibly beneficial practice to do now and for the rest of your life.

Happy practicing!



*See www.thelifemanagementalliance.com, THREATS AND FEAR (Use search engine or press CTRL and click mouse.)

YOUR JOB: NURTURING, CREATING PEACE AND RESERVES FOR YOURSELF

You have moved and now have a mess - and a feeling of urgency to get everything organized and found. But the "feeling or urgency" is only a concept not a reality - as most things could be put off for an extra day and make no difference in one's life. In fact, they can be spread on purpose over a longer period, in a sort of "pacing" for the long term, just as a long distance runner would do when running a race (except that we'll also rest between races! Plus, we'll develop a smoother stride.).

Your job right now, "should you decide to accept it",* is to create nurturing for yourself and to increase what produces peace and physical reserves for yourself. That's it, for the next 30 days (with an option to extend for a lifetime). Yes, other things can be added, but not to the exclusion of those.

Nurturing includes getting rest, taking respites such as a hot bath, taking 1 minute (or up to 5) to deeply relax (and breathe), getting a massage (especially of shoulders and neck), etc....And the appropriate practice would be to start off each day with the question: "What one thing can I do for nyself today that will produce joy and/or nurturing for myself? "

One thing that fits into all the categories is taking a rejuvenation day. That can simply be a day where one does no "work" of any kind. It can be exploring the city, going to a movie, sitting in the sun for a bit, just doing what comes to mind, or whatever - it could be an intentional "be flaky" day. Once every month or two, it is an excellent idea to do some variation of the total relaxation day, where one doesn't even leave the bedroom, having set it up so that snacks and meals are instantly available, dozing off while reading (no tv however), writing in your journal if you like (having gone to bed early the night before, taking a leisurely evening walk if desired, going to sleep early again that evening). The world will not crumble if we step off for a day.

Whereas you may be used to running on the edge, attempting to maximize your day, you will now choose to build reserves and to not use them up totally, for those reserves will serve you for the long term. We are built to "surge" and then to "rest", not to surge, then surge, then surge...for our ability to handle things well will disappear with no reserve left.
Stephen Covey, in his all time best selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, presents the idea that people need to both produce (P) and to develop their production capability (PC) or they will not be able to produce. Much like the old tale of the older lumberjack chopping down more trees by far than the younger, newer one; when the younger asked how the old guy was able to do more when the younger guy's strength was so much more and when he spent more of his time actually chopping, the older one said it was very simple: he just took the time to sharpen his saw (or axe) so that it cut more effectively. The obvious analogy is to life: increase one's ability to be effective, as the time spent in not being productive actually produces more good results in life as opposed to "running" all the time.

One of the effects, and the key missing one, is that the brain's actual physical circuitry will change. The prefrontal cortex on the right side will develop a larger capacity to actually physically screen out "nonsense" messages and also to take time to consider how to act on the nonsense messages - those are both actual, proven physical effects, where the rewiring is achieved to make things work better automatically!!!!!

Increasing your deep relaxation and/or meditation (actual or CD listening) to at least 2 times a day is imperative (except on unusual days, of course). Doing a "one minute" relaxation each hour when the automatic hourly device beeps or vibrates is an essential practice also.

We'll be dealing over time with installing a greater understanding of the "nonsense" produced by the monkey mind and developing solid philosophical changes that will replace much of that. For now, your practice of simply not allowing those thoughts and inserting anything (singing or diversion or substituted phrases like "it'll be all right for now" , "I'm ok for now", etc.) in their place will be useful.

All of this is with the long term goal in mind (which you'll probably rework and rework as this progresses) is something like: "to become (choose to be) a laid back, accepting but proactive person only doing things that pay off very well."

This will be a very fulfilling growth period for you. I am excited about it.

Keith
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*In the old version of Mission Impossible, the assignments were made via tape. The mission would be designated and then the person could choose to or not to do it and then it would add "this tape will self destruct in six seconds....". While this task is very doable, it is a task that will take due discipline and effort, but with huge payoffs. Your higher brain would definitely select the choice of having those higher payoff - but it is a choice that must be made - and a commitment must be made to do it (not perfectly, but substantially).