Showing posts with label Self Talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Talk. Show all posts

Monday, September 7, 2020

Do not stop short on building this into your life!

 (In email, click on the post title in order to read the entire post.) 

We cannot afford to stop short of fully correcting and installing a self-talk conversation!  Leaving the old one even partially in place is not at all wise!  Yet most of us don't quite get around to doing "the work."  

Consider this:  

Smart Self-Talk Script Development Handout

Stopping short on this by developing only a few areas is like fortifying a fortress in only certain areas, yet leaving some wide open to the invading marauders!  

Study this area and become a true expert in it so that you can then design a self conversation that is truly empowering and happiness causing.  See One's Sustained Background Conversation Determines The Quality Of One's Life - And We Can't Afford The Extreme Cost Of A Negative One!!!

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Sunday, August 4, 2019

Be totally impeccably kind to yourself...

Always, always speak and be incredibly kind to yourself.  (The alternative does you no good at all.)

Saturday, August 3, 2019

Friday, December 29, 2017

Automatic sources of positivity, inspiration, strength..

(In email, click on the post title in order to read the entire post.) 

Automatic "uppers" are a must in today's world of "not enough" and our primitive mind's constantly repeating itself about supposed possible threats and trying to correct it's human by doing lots of criticism.  The latter can't help but doing that (though we can train the brain so it intervenes automatically).

We have discussed having coping statements and/or automatically restating a negative to what is a more objective, kinder statement, but it is also helpful to "increase the positivity supply" in a real sense, one that also relaxes the body and increases the actual physical ability of the brain to be happy

While Facebook and such will draw the mood downward, or at least the thinking level, if one reads inspiring things in the morning (or evening or any time) one's mind will be full of good stuff - and one's threat center will be soothed into thinking "oh, great, things are calm and good."  (Note that the brain will so the same thing if a person on purpose starts breathing slowly and deeply, as that is a signal to the primitive mind that there are no present dangers to be on alert for.)

If one has emails from high-minded, progressive type blogs, one's thinking, short term AND long term will have much more peacefulness, feelings of powerfulness, and positive things to think about.  The effect can literally turn some people's thinking around super significantly.

I get a simple email from a daily gratitude blog.  I open it even if I skip alot of other emails.  It is proven that focus on gratitude rewires the brain and is a significant effector of happiness! 

Though I'm emphasizing "automatic" sources, I used to (before it was emblazoned in my mind) read My Daily Reading early in the morning.  I might also select pieces to read from the Gratitude Contents, Links page.

Reading, by the bedside, the various books in the Chicken Soup For The Soul is a good idea.

Even subscribing to the higher level YouTube channels offers more sources of good thinking.

You are aware by now, most likely, that those you associate with determine your level of being and of happiness.  And, yes, you want to heed this very strictly in those who you associate with the most.  But you can also "associate" with all of the great leaders in the success areas - by subscribing to their blog emailing lists and YouTube channels.  See the list in the right hand column of the Resources For Success page. 

As you go, you'll see some of the better blogs referring you to other excellent resources, so you'll add more high thinkers and good examples of happiness creating and/or highly effective people.  At one end of the thinking extremes, some will like the Farnam Street Blog or Daniel Pink or perhaps one of the sites on my page on good sites.

A word of caution here.  Do not depend on yourself, your memory, or for random inspiration to go to the good sites or blogs - you must set it up so it is automatic or you will lose alot by using the random approach, plus effort will dissipate or disappear without regular automatic inflows. 

Other suggestions will come later, if there is interest expressed in finding more of the better resources to follow.

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 A SIDE NOTE ON HOW THE BRAIN PHYSICALLY CHANGES FROM THIS!

As people meditate and/or as they think rationally there is an actual scientifically observed increase in the left prefrontal cortex in what is sometimes called the happiness center.  Within that portion of the brain is a malleable "screener of the ridiculous" that also without our conscious awareness cuts off further transmission of what is nonsensical.  If someone practices meditation, for instance, a brain scan will show that part of the brain getting larger (somewhat similarly to taxicab drivers whose location part of the memory increases physically).  (See Why Are Buddhist Monks So Happy?)

A complainer, justifier, negative speaking person will actually cause that part of the brain to get smaller while increasing the size of the fear center (the amygdala and its buddies).   And, besides perceiving a greater number of possible threats it becomes physically hypersensitive and overreactive, such that what was considered a smaller threat is now believed to be a bigger threat.  Negative conversations, either inside the head or outside, are a guarantor of a worse and worse life just by decreasing the functionality of the brain!!!! 

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Sunday, December 24, 2017

The vital skill in life, for no anger, blame, criticism...zero tolerance...

(In email, click on the post title in order to read the entire post.) 

Although the primitive mind might believe that staying in a negative emotion might save us from a threat, it is not true.  It actually tends to disable us emotionally and to make us dysfunctional.

It is proven that happy emotions make us more effective and more productive, while any negative emotion so engages the primitive mind that we are ineffective and cannot be happy.  

It is imperative, if we are to have a very happy life, that we have zero tolerance for staying in any negative emotion.  This doesn't mean we don't pay attention to what it is telling us, if anything.  It does mean, however, that we have zero tolerance for the cause of the negative emotion.  And our self-talk, our internal conversation, and our beliefs therein are the cause of those emotions, so they are what we need to correct.

We cannot operate effectively in life if we allow negative emotions to be so prevalent, so why let it continue even for a moment more than the minimum time it takes to notice them?  

So, your practice that is essential to be committed to is to 1) notice the negative emotion, 2) take a "short pause" (aka The Power Pause) to engage the higher brain, 3) most likely note down the causal negative conversation, and 4) correct it, through later review or in the moment, so that a true belief replaces the one that caused the upset - leading you to a condition of "no upset".   

Part of "correcting" the current conversation may involve your bringing in a previously devised corrected conversation, such as a mantra or affirmative statement that you can recall right away, as you've practiced it.  It can be whatever you choose, such as "This is not true.  I am actually ok.  This is nothing.  I am simply a human being doing the best I can, ever growing in wisdom and love."  Barksdale provides some very, very good materials for those (such as this piece, which includes lots of good statements) and you can use the links in this article to go to the relevant sections 

If you follow this practice and study the philosophy on the site (No Fault, plus Fearlessness), you will reach the desired zero tolerance level so that the following desirable conditions will exist: (check these off as accomplished or rate them on a 1 to 10 basis on how far you are along on the scale of attaining them, which is relatively easy to do, once you've "gotten" the core concept related to fault and fearlessness.) 

__ Zero blame
__ Zero fault
__ Zero anger
__ Zero complaining
__ Zero resentment
__ Zero criticism
__ Zero worry 

You will "get off it" the moment you see a negative emotion.  And, as a result, your life will elevate itself to a "highly life value" productivity level of true happiness.  

You MUST, as a requirement for your living a truly happy life, commit to zero tolerance for the rest of your life.

If you did do this, imagine how much better your life would be.  (Especially, note how many problems and negative emotions in the past would no longer be there!)

Will you do it?

(If you choose to do it, a brief note would be appreciated: Contact.)

This ties in with the other recent blog pieces The "Can't Complain" (ever) Philosophy and also the Commit Forever To No Negative Conversations (enter the phrase into the search engine if not linked or simply scroll down on the blog).

I'll guarantee that this will transform your life, and will even make a huge difference even if you only slightly master it.

Please choose to go "zero tolerance" for the rest of your life!

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Saturday, December 23, 2017

Commit, forever, to "no negative conversations", inside or outside of your head!

 (In email, click on the post title in order to read the entire post.) 

It is essential that you commit to these, forever:

No Negative Conversations (not even in teasing or kidding around!!!)

These are essential in terms of being able to have a good (or better yet, great) life, which is all that counts!  (It is nonsense to gauge life by “being good enough”, “getting approval”, “looking good”, etc.)    

And all of these are attainable by anyone, one step at a time. Just follow the "paths" or "programs" on the site.

DO THIS

Be sure to look at this (following) context and way of thinking and decide to choose the one that leads to happiness in life:  The Fixed (Defensive) Mindset Vs. The Growth/Learning Mindset.  (Take a look at the other mindsets that control the quality of one's life also, especially the 100% Responsibility Mindset.)

And you MUST understand and buy into (so don't quit before you are 100% convinced in your higher brain) the tautological truth of No Fault. Read it over and over and over until you've "gotten" it (at the level of grokking it).

And you MUST disallow all faux fears about faux threats that are based on faux beliefs. (See Fears And Threats Differentiated.) Each time there is a negative emotion, you must stop, record what the internal conversation was, and then at a designated time when you are clearheaded, correct the false belief (sentence you told yourself that triggered your negative emotion).


LIVE BY THIS "STANDARD"

If you are not happy (or at least neutral) 95+% of the time, you have not adequately studied the vital psychology that you must master.   There is no need for unhappiness and its underlying self criticism and false threats (based on false beliefs not corrected.   

Beyond "sufficient survival", your orientation in life must be 100% clear of self criticism and tension about not making enough progress and be about totally choosing that which "feels good" (in the longer term sense, considering secondary and tertiary effects of what one does).  Read, and do whatever you can relative to it, Feeling Good Vs. Feeling Bad - and spend no time in feeling bad - note what feels bad and then use it to create something you want, such as a feel good thought or activity instead of it.


IF YOU COMMIT TO THIS

I guarantee it will make a huge difference in the quality of your life.

If you do commit to it, please let me know: contact.

To creating your best future,

Keith

P.S. Along these lines, read the “Can’t Complain” piece, written right before this, as it relates to this very topic.

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Share: Please share this post with others it could be of benefit to.  Post the link to social media and/or use the little white envelope right below this post (if you are on a phone you may have to push, near the bottom, on "web version" to see it).

Be on the email list:  To receive notification of blog posts (and changes on the site, plus books), enter your email in the right hand sidebar. (If you don't see a right hand sidebar, click near the bottom on "web version".)

Refer: Please refer others to the blog and/or the site, so we can build a sufficient audience to make this thing bigger and better.  (See the. mission of The Life Management Institute.) 

Use these blogs effectively! 
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Wednesday, April 20, 2016

It is now time to reformulate a powerful self conversation

(Click on the title of the post to read the entire post.)

By accident and happenstance, we formulate a "self-conversation" that contains a large number of erroneous statements and beliefs and disempowering ways of looking at life and ourselves.

Many people leave it that way or take little pot shots at changing the conversation.

They fail to realize that that conversation has a huge effect on our thinking, our emotions, and ultimately the quality of our lives.

The life-successful person realizes that importance and proactively finds and then reformulates the statements that need correction AND he/she formulates empowering statements and beliefs that serve him/well.   He/she realizes this is too important not to fully address and craft for one's very life.  He/she will not tolerate having anything that is toxic or disempowering repeating itself in his/her life.

We discuss this on the site, where you might start by reading the sequence suggested in the left hand box of Empowering Conversations, Contents, Links.

After gaining that perspective and greater understanding, then you will next actually write your own conversations - from affirmations, through declarations and stands, to new beliefs, and a new philosophy of life, including, for sure, an appreciation/gratitude conversation to start the day off with.  A person cannot live the life he/she really wants if he/she does not nail this down and craft what is truly empowering and effectuating.

Start by spending a week focusing on this, then decide what to do next.  I find that once you've set up the places (in The Notebook) where you keep the conversations, you can then write any ideas or new possible sentences in the notebook on a  daily basis.

And, yes, I do recommend that you keep a journal (or note down in some way) where you write out what your thoughts were before a negative emotion occurred in your day and then do the rewrite of the beliefs to what is actually true and workable, using one of the formats for doing such (see Belief Processing Forms, perhaps starting with the simplest).  

Formulating a powerful self conversation is one of the very most beneficial things you can do for your life.  It makes a huge difference in your happiness level and leaves you with a Background Conversation that has you feeling good as a base feeling.


Saturday, August 15, 2015

Why your life story matters - and why to correct it RIGHT NOW!

[If you receive this via email, click on the title to see the entire posting.]

S writes:

What do you think of this?    Why Your Life Story Matters And Why You Need To Tell It Now.
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ANSWER:

If you truncate the subtitle, the message is:  "Who you think you are has a huge impact..."

It's so true.

The article suggests two different reasons for "telling your story" - and then it suggests making sure that you have the story down correctly.

I absolutely agree.


PART 1 - TELLING YOUR STORY TO OTHERS.

The first part is "telling your story" to others.  But that means here (and in real life) that you tell only part of your story and that you not barf up the whole story, tales of woe and all.

It suggests that it is useful in being with others in relationships and at work in the sense that they will feel more connected, safer, more trusting if you tell them the parts of your philosophy that tell how you like to work, what matters most to you, how you think about things, what touches you, what makes you tick.  But only do this to "align the tribe" with you for your benefit in relating to them.  If you do this, you will achieve more of the primal survival goal of "assuring that the tribe values you and connects with you" so that you will survive at a higher level where we all cooperate and support each other for our greater good.

That's well and good.  And it is so very important.


PART 2 - TELLING YOUR STORY TO YOURSELF - AND CORRECTING IT!.

But the most important thing to do by far is for one to look at and then correct the series of stories that one makes up about "who one is".

Actually what is occurring is that each of us is only "choosing to be" a particular way based on what we "think" that we know.  In reality one is not stuck with any "fixed way" of being.  We actually only have habitual ways of being, such as "being an introvert" or "being undeserving", but they are not inherent fixed ways of being.  (Accordingly, you should be clear about Who You Actually Are.)

This is what The LMA Site is ultimately designed to address: letting go of the false beliefs (that are often in the form of false stories) and replacing those with what is true and workable.  However, most people do not do a good job of spotting what is false until they learn and understand a few basics of reality, such as:

1.  What Is Reality? Know What It Is Or Suffer From Irreality - You must understand this, and it is useful to also link into Evolution - And The Logic Of How Our Minds And Bodies Work, utilizing the links in the sidebar to further nail this understanding down.

2.  How Your Brain/Body Actually Works (and how to work them!)

And then you should understand how we "make up" things and believe that they are "the truth". Read The Believing Brain Summary.

Your "story" is about events (sometimes correctly remembered, sometimes not) and what you tell yourself about them, including the meaning you give them.   You should know and at least understand, on the site, What Is A Story And What's Not A Story - And The Power Of Not Telling Any Stories ever again!

Much of the time we take a completely neutral event and we add meaning to it where there is no meaning.  Often we make conclusions that are un-thought-out.  But, despite the fact that they have not been verified, we take them on as if they are the truth.  But, inevitably most of them are based on assumptions, illogic, and non-facts.  It seems that Lennie (our primitive brain) conjures them up but does not run them through the higher brain to be "checked out" fact-wise and logic wise.

When Plato says The Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living, he is stating the truth that we will not live a good life, or as good a life, if we continue to believe unexamined, false beliefs!

So, when, as the author suggests, we make sure we tell the corrected story, I totally agree.

However, I don't really know of another person who has completed the process! (Here is one attempt:The Story That Caused My Life, So Far....)


I WOULD SUGGEST THIS PROCESS INSTEAD

I would suggest that the process be modified to this:

Write down the "story of your life" from start to finish, as rapidly as possible with no editing, by recalling what occurred in your life AND what you made those things mean.  What conclusions did you draw about yourself?  You would write the whole thing out as best you can, before proceeding with the next question.  (You can, however, as you write the story, also write down any thoughts and questioning of yourself.)   Although you can come back later if you wish, I recommend that you do this in no more than two hours OR in one sitting (with appropriate breaks, but not stopping until the process is finished) - otherwise, you'll never complete the exercise.

And then you'd ask "which beliefs are leading me to do what doesn't work to get the right results for me?"  You can always spot those by "the signs", as we know that if we get a bad result (that's the sign!) there is always a cause - and/or you can look for any beliefs that might have supported getting the wrong result or not getting the right result.  If you can't ferret all of them out, you can just look down the list of beliefs and link into the related discussion and solutions from the page Beliefs And Thoughts - Contents/Links.

It is also highly beneficial if you engage a partner in the process (a counselor, an objective wise friend, or such) to help you get through the "finishing" of the process and to help you see what you are blind to on your own.


SO, THAT'S WHAT I THINK!

The general meaning of the article is absolutely true.  And the vital part, as soon as possible, is for one to tell one's story to oneself - and then go back and run it through the "crap detector" to correct it. (Jim Loehr, the famous productivity coach and author of several great books, uses this term in his book The Power Of Story - Rewrite Your Destiny In Business And In Life.)

The end objective is to, whatever it takes, end up with the key beliefs that underlie happiness (as listed in The Road To Happiness), which include the all important "sense of agency" that is mentioned in Cain's article but which is normally called Self-Efficacy - The Essential Sense Of Life Competency.


NAIL THIS, PLEASE!

May you really nail this down as it is an absolute must for living a life of true happiness!!!











Of possible interest on The Site:  The Story That Caused My Life, So Far...

Friday, November 11, 2011

Metaprograms And Your Happiness

We often try to solve a problem by not working at solving the problem directly, in a kind of wishful thinking. 

We feel lonely and then we use an affirmation to cover it over or we do something else to make us feel better.  That's all good stuff, but it is not the same as solving the problem.

One of the problems with problems is that they are based on a number of components and have some complexity. 

We humans basically operate mechanically off of metaprogams, which are master programs that are a combination of other programs.

We can't "solve" these problems all at once or in some simple way anymore than we can eat an elephant all at once.  We can only do it a bite (a piece) at a time - and eventually we'll have the result of having eaten an elephant.

Metaprograms can be programs that cause a problem or they can be programs that cause a good result.

For instance, at Heartmath they get good results by using metaprograms that include a desirable effect, caused on purpose. 

You are asked to get in touch with your heart.  That means something to you (i.e. you have a metaprogram associated with it), which usually results in deeper and slower breathing, a softening, and a good feeling and so on.  All we have to do is initiate the metaprogram and we're off and running - in a good direction.

So we want to use the good metaprogram and to correct the bad feeling metaprograms - and to the extent we do the latter, we can make very, very rapid and deep changes in how we experience life.  If we don't, then guess what!?  We get to repeat the bad program over and over and over and over - Sisyphus-like.

See Metaprograms.

One thing that would be good for you to do, and then share with me, is make up a list of "good feeling" metaprograms.  That list will give us lots of metaprograms to initiate to "feel good", which are healthy than eating ice cream to create that feeling. 

Yours toward happiness,

Keith  

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Learning To Breathe - Finally!

My special friend, Barbara, said she could not find a single person who had triumphed over social anxiety and panic.  She also said, I believe, that the specifics of her case were so unique that she doubted there would be a cure for her. 

I can sympathize with that thinking…and how it must make her feel. 

But I know that the thinking is erroneous and that it is essential that it be corrected, if she is to make progress in a shorter period of time.  Part of the thinking is that the problem is due to circumstances and/or locked in place by her past.  That is not true - and it can be a "reason" for thinking the problem is "fixed, permanent", which is a classic wrong way of thinking - and one that the Buddha cites as being a great source of suffering.    
But few understand the difficulties of those who experience panic attacks, no matter that source (the source is always thinking) - it can be a tough road, but the point is that there is a road to peace. 

Looking for the story of someone who has succeeded is a useful idea.  And certainly those people understand the difficulties.

One book that has been written and published recently is a delightful story of the year of learning to breathe – which, for a panic attack person, is very hard to do, as he/she has learned the wrong way to breathe and made it a habit – but one that is overcomeable.

But the solution does not lie solely in the breathing.  It is in handling each part of the syndrome, which is defined as a combination of parts.

Priscilla Warner writes in a manner reminiscent of Elizabeth Gilbert in her Eat, Pray, Love book.    Her book:  Learning To Breathe – My Yearlong Quest To Bring Calm To My Life. 

Or as she calls it her “my panic-to-peace project.”

It is a book that is hard to put down but one with many, many lessons included in it, as she rubs shoulders with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche (who shares how he cured his panic attacks; see also his book The Joy Of Living) and Krishna Das (who had recovered from many years of depression), and many others, each of whom contributed to her seeing and implementing what works to free herself up from that type of thinking in life.  Yes, breathing is part of it, but only a manifestation of the cause – which is the type of thinking that generates needless, useless suffering.  Tension, and the resultant exhaustion, is also a manifestation of the cause.

(She even generated proof of her changes, by having brain scans that showed her "before" and "after" brains – the latter looked more like that of the happiest people in the world – Tibetan Buddhist monks. See Rewiring The Brain.)

I urge you to read the book, whether you are trying to cure your social anxiety and panic attacks or just wanting to live a better life, still with ups and downs but with lots of “good stuff”.  And I urge you to follow in more depth the practices and paths she has taken.

As I write this, I feel a great sense of peace and appreciation for life.

Keith

There are also example after example of people who have overcome depression and/or panic attacks.  I list some their names on the site, in the depression section, in the Bad Past Good Life section, in the Panic Attacks section.  Review those and find a person who resonates.  Many are famous now.  Many have devised ways of helping others through the process – though they have products that sell for money, what they do is very beneficial for the world.  Read their stories and follow the clues that success leaves behind – for it is easier and more productive to follow the path of one who has already travelled the path you would like to travel.  True, you will have to select what works best for you, and, true, it might be best to have a guide to help you, but there is a path(s) that works for you!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

No Negative Conversation!

"If only people could see that one cannot achieve his/her much desired peace of mind if one does not totally give up negative conversations - inside or outside of oneself!!!!!"

The BuddhaKahuna

I would encourage adopting the practices and "truth-telling" in the No Negative Conversations piece, as it is vital to your peace of mind (in lieu of having a "piece of mind" that is toxic).

And sometimes one might need the cooperation of another person who is doing 'toxic dumping' in his/her conversations with you.

However, confronting that person and making this point is often awkward and not well-done in a conversation. So, being creative, you might write a frank, but kind, note requesting no negative conversations for the sake of your peace of mind. Few people can turn this type of request down, though you may have to remind them once in a while, until they get the new habit. (And that habit will benefit the other person's life also!) See Request For No Negative Conversation.

Try this. Try enlisting the other person - and enlisting yourself - in making "no negative conversation" a sacred honoring of the other and of oneself.

Keith

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

EXCUSES BEGONE! POSSIBILITYLAND

Justifications, excuses, and reasons-why-not keep us trapped.

And they become part of our identity, as they seem so fixed and unchangeable.

But in this conversation with Barbara she really nailed what was happening and how to let go of it.

She was listening to Wayne Dyer in a recorded seminar when Dyer brought up Byron Katie's "truth test". Her justifications and reasons-why-not did not meet the truth test.

Therefore, she had no argument left that there weren't any possibilities of her getting better.

A great and illuminating conversation - and a breakthrough for Barbara!

I think you'll get some clarity out of reading the piece I wrote (click on the title of this blog).

Keith

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

THE FIRST LESSON IN "MIND MANAGEMENT"

Mark Hyman, M. D., author the The Ultra Brain Solution, when talking about OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) remarked that one of the most impactful strategies was to teach them to, when they have a compulsive thought, to say to themselves:

"It's not real! It's only my brain talking!"

You might recall in the movie Beautiful Mind how he learned that when he "saw" those people that he no longer needed to believe they were real and he knew they were just figments of one's imagination (lower brain, automatic signals without thinking, that simply run along the established neuronal pathway!).

Believing in ghosts is not a great idea. Taking the advice of fools or jesters is not a good idea. Believing our thoughts are true or that messages from the lower brain are true is an absolutely horrible, unwise idea!!!!!!

So, how do you get to the point of actually realizing this? Read about mind management on The Site. And, believe it or not, address every unverified, not-yet-reasoned-out thought with "It's not real. It's only my brain talking! It is not a reasoned out thought nor necessarily true. I will rely only on reasoned out conclusions in my life."

I think it is important to realize that most of us are somewhere on the OCD spectrum, in the milder worry and undue concern areas. With this simple practice, one can move even further down the spectrum, to a much happier place. (Some of you may find it useful to read the section on Worry, under the Psychology section.)

Believe it or not, listing the above statements in the affirmations you read every day will lower the degree of worry and calm your mind over the long term.

I hope you do that.

Keith

The Site: www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Changing Your Limiting Beliefs - Completely!

Barbara,

In order to get past limiting beliefs we must first see that they aren't true. Then we must have a true statement that will replace them. You have several traps in your limiting beliefs, such as "I can't ...., therefore I'll never ... which means I can't..." - self-fulfilling prophecies which aren't permanent.

The best treatment for now, from resources I've reviewed is in the detailed The Belief Manual. It lists all the limiting beliefs and then sets up sets of replacement beliefs that are the opposite.
I think this is the best way to go, so that we can have selected true statements to use to offset the dribbling of limiting thoughts from Dumb and Dumber (see Managing The Mind discussion on The Site). For a description of that book, go to Psychology, Beliefs/Thoughts, Individual Beliefs (to link, click on the title of this article) then to Resources.

This would be an easy book to take on your trip to China, as you can work on the little pieces one at a time during idle times.

There is no way around this, as it can only be done by going through it. So let's complete these and then move on to the formation of an overall solid life philosophy* that serves you at a higher level.

Let's check with each other once you've done the basic work.

I guarantee this will make a substantial difference, as changing the way one thinks has the highest payoff of anything you can do with your time!

Keith
The Site: www.thelifemanagementalliance.com .

*Link: http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/SiteMapICPhilos.html

Saturday, March 28, 2009

FROM DEPRESSION TO HAPPINESS - IT'S BEEN DONE!

B -

You seemed to be a bit "non-believing" when I said I was totally confident that you could turn around your thinking that has created your downward spirals for years and years. Yes, you have practiced and become an expert at it, but the same mechanism can be used to reverse it.

The solution is definite and proven.

Daniel Amen, M.D. spoke on PBS, reviewing many of the observations from his book "Magnifient Mind At Any Age," where he utilizes his brain scanning expertise (a friend of mine had this done and benefitted greatly) and counseling experience over many years. He lays out many useful strategies and has found that if you apply them you will achieve life-enhancing results.
He also mentioned the case of Byron Katie, successful author and wise sage, where she had suffered from severe depression for many years. She turned it around when she "suddenly discovered" that she no longer felt depressed when she began to question (and no longer passively believe) what her mind said to her. She asked 4 questions roughly paraphrased here, whenever a "negative" or stressful thought popped into her consciousness. All the thoughts that make you feel bad are actually beliefs, which you can question and redo, but this time with your higher brain, as an adult:

1. Is it true? (Even if you answer yes, do the next test question.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be, how would you feel, without that thought.

Then you take the thought and turn it around to the opposite and see if that would work better for you. And the next step is simply to practice by saying and using that new belief.

When she addressed each of the thoughts and stopped being "victim" to the prattlings of the primitive mind, she found that she was not at all depressed. Her transformation is reflected now in the mission she has in her life - and she is a true inspiration to the many who follow her work.

It is worthwhile becoming an expert in this fairly simple process - after all, we want to waste as little time as possible dwelling in the falsehoods of damaging beliefs.

Will you accept that challenge?

I look forward with great excitement at seeing the great progress you will make in the next six months through the consistent practice of what we are working on together.

Keith


Use the search engine on the website (TheLifeManagementAlliance) to find an approach based on similar thinking. Enter "rational analysis".

I would definitely read and practice what Dr. Amen recommends in his book!!!!

Her original book is "Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life."