There are only two things in the world: success or reasons why not

(In email, click on the post title in order to read the entire post.) 

In the world view of being 100% Responsible, the obvious, self-evident, definitive, "harsh" reality is that we either achieve success or we find reasons why not.

In my discussions with certain people who are not succeeding, I hear "reasons why not" all the time, instead of commitments to doing whatever it takes (and is worth the effort, of course). 

Success, basically, is defined as "achieving the results you desire".

In the responsibility world view, all that matters is results (which also is true of the reality world).

It is "what works" that we seek, not self justification, reasons why we did not do enough to get the results, reasons why we were not able to succeed (attributed to "outside causes", outside of oneself), justifications, defenses, attempting to look good or get approval from others by deflecting or blaming someone or something "out there"...

In the "what works" world there is no right/wrong/good/bad/defend/attack/criticism worldview, there is only seeking and implementing what works (i.e. that which produces the desired result).  The "what works"attitude is empowering, whereas doing or saying anything in the right/wrong worldview is disempowering and creates a downward spiral or a get nowhere end result.  In the "what works" world there is only "being cause in the matter of my life":


NOW, IT IS TIME TO CHOOSE

Which will you choose in your life?  (Keep in mind that you must give up your stories, your justifications, your defensiveness, etc., if you choose to be a successful, "what works" person, who, of course, is playing the game with 100% Responsibility for all of his/her results in life.)

Pick one of these:  I choose to

__ Continue as I am doing, as I am very happy.
__ Continue as I am doing, though I am not particularly happy.
__ Maybe raise my responsibility level some percentage points.
__ I'll try but only to the point where I am not yet discouraged...and only if I get quick results...
__ Choose the reality that I am 100% responsible for creating my life anyway and then taking the reins of my life from that point of view only, and never being a victim!  I will not stop short...I shall go all the way to achieving the results I want!!!!

[If anyone chooses to shift his/her position with regard to this, please let me know: Contact.]

___________________________________________

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Is thinking rational?

"I think you live in a dream world if you're thinking that thinking is rational." 

An interesting comment I got in a phone message.

It seems that there is a spectrum from no rationality, which is called insanity, on forward to some items that cannot be deal with rationally (very, very few) and being as rational as one can be, within the limits of being human.  Of course, certain things are not amenable to bringing up to consciousness, where the rational brain center can then operate on it.

However, we did evolve to have an unusual gift of a higher brain, one which is capable of logic and discrimination (to check to see if things are factual).  It is our greatest gift.

Yes, we probably can't "get in touch" with our livers and then instruct them on what to do, but we can rationally do everything around that which we are capable of, from reducing stress to changing nutrition to ...  And certain reactions are instinctual, such as blushing or even "excitement" stimulated by some evolved response system. 

In some way, we process data according to a pattern that may be built in and/or habitual PLUS we can use our rational minds to intentionally process data to improve our results in life.  The mistake many people make, out of misunderstanding, is to generalize the idea that emotions "seem to be" in charge or that they just come about with no control and no ability to influence them.

Of course, in any one circumstance they may not be 100% controllable, but surely we are able to observe what happened (an emotion just popped up and it felt "bad") and then to choose to act on it, especially when we've trained ourselves to do so instead of going "belly up" and doing a victim act (I'm just a victim of my emotions - NOT!). 

Since most things involve a sequence, we can intervene in the sequence when we note that something is "off", such as when we feel bad, which indicates that something is done wrongly and/or that a belief is false.  (Until one is more educated in how things work, one can still believe in "the mystical" - and not see that all of it is mechanical, using biochemicals and electricity to cause something - and to form patterns in our brain to bring back up when something associated happens - these are 'thoughts' which we must learn are just thoughts and not facts.  The 700 lb. woman on Doctor Oz, after losing 120 lbs remarked that one major realization for her was that "thoughts aren't facts!")

If a person was proactive, acting as soon as possible, and noted that something didn't work and then dug into the beliefs behind it AND then "solved it" with an updated correct belief that would work, then the person would eliminate 80 - 99% of false beliefs - and live a much better life!   Note that people who are problem free and very strong emotionally and mentally are the ones who complete and solve things right away, leaving no crap behind. 

For now I cannot see another way around it.  It seems that one must be educated in the basics of how things work - and spend time learning "Problem Solving" as a key, vital, essential skill that will enable a person to become happy (happiness is an emotion, but also it can be a long-term trained way of thinking that repeats through self-designed triggers to achieve happy emotions, such as feeling fulfilled, prosperous, fortunate, solid, strong).  

The question is:  Will you do this - and will you do it with sufficient mastery? 

If you will, I guarantee you happiness.  If you don't, you'll continue to operate in life with alot of unsolved, unresolved problems and beliefs. 

Your choice,

Keith

Read the sections:  Link from Life Management Contents/Links into the Basic Life Skills, in sequence:    Learning Authentically
                   Thinking Effectively
                   Effective Decision-Making And Problem Solving 

100% RESPONSIBILITY????

Do you "get to" be a bit irresponsible, a bit "at effect"?

You can choose to "feel" that way and "think" that way, but it doesn't work.

Most people don't know what this fully means.

Some think they are powerful, yet they get angry and impatient and unkind. I can guarantee that is not responsible nor fully powerful.

Some think they get to be rescued, but that doesn't work either.

See where you are on the spectrum? You may be surprised.

To your next key decision that will lead to a more vital life,

Keith

http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/LifeMgmt/PowerInLife/Responsibility100percent.html

Transition - From Victim To Creator Of Life

Barbara,

During this next month or so you're probably going to feel like there is "no progress" and/or "this isn't working", but keep on doing the assigned exercises as we're building something for the long term.

One of the big things we are doing is working at creating "context", like a way of viewing things or a position from which to view things. This is necessary to create "bigger learning", consistent with the piece on skill development and how people become experts (or geniuses).

You'll be moving from the (fictional) victim/child construct over to "I am the creator" viewpoint. The belief that one is a victim is a totally "made up" self statement, one that would not meet the criteria of "is it true?" The question is answered "no", as it is not a given, permanent thing that you are. However, the answer to that question for "I am the creator" would have to be answered: "yes, it is true" (scientifically verifiable).

Gradually, over the next little while, you will begin to shift more and more to realizing the truth of the one and the "not truth" of the other. In fact, although it might seem silly and like it won't be effective, it is a good idea to use this as an affirmation, one that is so memorized that it can be brought up every time you are "feeling" like a victim/child. Feeling like a "victim/child" is shown by statements like "oh, it's so difficult" or "oh, this'll never work" or, a real good one, "that's just the way I am" [equivalent to "that's the way I've been in the past and I can't change that, so that is the way I'll be in the future" - poppycock!]

You can also catch yourself when you're feeling the "victim" of working on getting someone else's approval (a piece is coming soon).

So, your affirmation (and, hopefully, eventually, your absolute commitment) will be: "I am the creator." If you want, you can reinforce it with other sayings like: "I am the captain of my ship and the master of my life".

These recognize that it is you who determine all your responses and actions and thoughts and beliefs that you'll choose to operate from (and it is NOT your past). "Creator" is the point from which you exercise power over life, where you are "at cause" and no longer "at the effect" of other people and circumstances. Where you embrace all that you have and fully utilize it!

Keith
(Click on title to link to go to Power In Life, under Life Management and at least read Responsibility Versus Victimhood.)

FEARLESSNESS and THE DECISION TO BE HAPPY

Barbara,

We have discussed how your advisor psychologist friend has said you are behaving as a victim, so I thought I would write some additional pieces and sections around that idea.

The funny thing is that when we see that we are automatically doing some victim behaviors and then when we choose to stop that and adopt a total non-victim stance, we become virtually fearless and we choose to be happy no matter what. (See Psychology, Fear, Fearlessness or, to link directly, click title of this article above.)

Being a victim is indeed the source for "no power", as discussed in the Life Management, Power In Life section, AND it is the source for much fear (go to Psychology, Beliefs/Thoughts, VICTIMHOOD).

When we stop exaggerating the threats, which we do as if we were still a small child, and when we choose to be a total non-victim, we become virtually fearless and produce happiness NO MATTER WHAT.

It is possible, though you do not yet see it. But that is the purpose of this whole exercise to have you read this, practice the tools, and then to create that happiness you so greatly deserve.

Yours toward happiness,

Keith

Site for above is http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/ .