What do I do to implement a proper self care morning routine?

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Go back to the beginning of the posts on July 3rd, to start the sequence.

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One of the very most valuable things you can do lies in "grounding and centering oneself" such that one creates a great day ahead.

The question is how do I implement that?

Read this and use the strategies and systems recommended:

Implementing Self Care - How Much? What Do I Do? And When?

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I hope that this starts you off on one of the most valuable thing you can do for yourself!!!

Keith

Self-Soothing, Self-Nurturing - A Vital Skill And Practice

(Click on the title of the article to go to the full blog posting.  If you receive this email notice, it only includes a few lines to give you the basic idea...)

"So I put my hand on my heart and held that scared heart with a loving hand.  I put my other hand on my face and caressed it as a caring parent would."   Daniel Gottlieb, The Wisdom We Were Born With

When we begin to think that we are worthy of our own attention and love, we often have no clue about how to nurture or sooth ourselves.

But what often breaks the dam that holds us back is something as simple as:

Soothingly caressing our arm, shoulders, neck, and even "holding ourselves", as a separate loving person might.

And simply saying "there, there, all is well.  I will take care of you.  You are good and I love you."

At first that might seem awkward, but it is legitimate.  (The only downside I found to loving myself completely was that I had to keep cleaning off my lip marks on my mirror.)

Anyway, one piece, with its links, that one might consider reading and implementing would be Self-Nurturing, Self-Soothing - A Vital Skill And Practice.

When we start to do the actions of loving ourselves, we begin to free ourselves from the prison of self-criticism and blame.  And something beautiful comes in to replace them...

Keith

EXTREME SELF-CARE - HONORING YOURSELF AND FEELING GOOD ABOUT LIFE

Barbara,

We slip, ever so gradually, into behaviors that hurt us by stressing ourselves out and setting ourselves up for breakdown in some way. We are like the proverbial gradually boiling frog, who doesn't jump out of the water that is heating from tepid to boiling because it is so gradual.

It is time to treat oneself with honor and careful nurturing, as suggested in this article and in Cheryl Richardson's book, "The Art Of Extreme Care". The article "Extreme Self-Care" suggests several practices and a couple of books that will lead you to that greater place of being.(Click on the article title above to link to the Peace of Mind section, then to the article. It's also in the Life Management, Practices section.)

I would suggest that this is not "optional" but that it is absolutely essential.

Take "care",

Keith
www.thelifemanagementalliance.com

YOUR JOB: NURTURING, CREATING PEACE AND RESERVES FOR YOURSELF

You have moved and now have a mess - and a feeling of urgency to get everything organized and found. But the "feeling or urgency" is only a concept not a reality - as most things could be put off for an extra day and make no difference in one's life. In fact, they can be spread on purpose over a longer period, in a sort of "pacing" for the long term, just as a long distance runner would do when running a race (except that we'll also rest between races! Plus, we'll develop a smoother stride.).

Your job right now, "should you decide to accept it",* is to create nurturing for yourself and to increase what produces peace and physical reserves for yourself. That's it, for the next 30 days (with an option to extend for a lifetime). Yes, other things can be added, but not to the exclusion of those.

Nurturing includes getting rest, taking respites such as a hot bath, taking 1 minute (or up to 5) to deeply relax (and breathe), getting a massage (especially of shoulders and neck), etc....And the appropriate practice would be to start off each day with the question: "What one thing can I do for nyself today that will produce joy and/or nurturing for myself? "

One thing that fits into all the categories is taking a rejuvenation day. That can simply be a day where one does no "work" of any kind. It can be exploring the city, going to a movie, sitting in the sun for a bit, just doing what comes to mind, or whatever - it could be an intentional "be flaky" day. Once every month or two, it is an excellent idea to do some variation of the total relaxation day, where one doesn't even leave the bedroom, having set it up so that snacks and meals are instantly available, dozing off while reading (no tv however), writing in your journal if you like (having gone to bed early the night before, taking a leisurely evening walk if desired, going to sleep early again that evening). The world will not crumble if we step off for a day.

Whereas you may be used to running on the edge, attempting to maximize your day, you will now choose to build reserves and to not use them up totally, for those reserves will serve you for the long term. We are built to "surge" and then to "rest", not to surge, then surge, then surge...for our ability to handle things well will disappear with no reserve left.
Stephen Covey, in his all time best selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, presents the idea that people need to both produce (P) and to develop their production capability (PC) or they will not be able to produce. Much like the old tale of the older lumberjack chopping down more trees by far than the younger, newer one; when the younger asked how the old guy was able to do more when the younger guy's strength was so much more and when he spent more of his time actually chopping, the older one said it was very simple: he just took the time to sharpen his saw (or axe) so that it cut more effectively. The obvious analogy is to life: increase one's ability to be effective, as the time spent in not being productive actually produces more good results in life as opposed to "running" all the time.

One of the effects, and the key missing one, is that the brain's actual physical circuitry will change. The prefrontal cortex on the right side will develop a larger capacity to actually physically screen out "nonsense" messages and also to take time to consider how to act on the nonsense messages - those are both actual, proven physical effects, where the rewiring is achieved to make things work better automatically!!!!!

Increasing your deep relaxation and/or meditation (actual or CD listening) to at least 2 times a day is imperative (except on unusual days, of course). Doing a "one minute" relaxation each hour when the automatic hourly device beeps or vibrates is an essential practice also.

We'll be dealing over time with installing a greater understanding of the "nonsense" produced by the monkey mind and developing solid philosophical changes that will replace much of that. For now, your practice of simply not allowing those thoughts and inserting anything (singing or diversion or substituted phrases like "it'll be all right for now" , "I'm ok for now", etc.) in their place will be useful.

All of this is with the long term goal in mind (which you'll probably rework and rework as this progresses) is something like: "to become (choose to be) a laid back, accepting but proactive person only doing things that pay off very well."

This will be a very fulfilling growth period for you. I am excited about it.

Keith
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*In the old version of Mission Impossible, the assignments were made via tape. The mission would be designated and then the person could choose to or not to do it and then it would add "this tape will self destruct in six seconds....". While this task is very doable, it is a task that will take due discipline and effort, but with huge payoffs. Your higher brain would definitely select the choice of having those higher payoff - but it is a choice that must be made - and a commitment must be made to do it (not perfectly, but substantially).